Comments on: Now at MSN.com: Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow

By: Boy country girl like - Girl like - Boy like you

Boy country girl like - Girl like - Boy like you — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 16:39:48 +0000

[...] Breakup Girl » Now at MSN.com: Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow 24 Jun 2008. Turns out Country Girl is pregnant, and the baby is most likely his.. And that the baby is not Country Boy’s. But, in general, I like to Breakup Girl » Now at MSN.com: Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow [...]

By: Breakup Girl

Breakup Girl — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 06:13:52 +0000

Hey, all: Thanks for your comments. You’re right — of course there is the possibility that she was, er, pre-bounding with man #2. And that the baby is not Country Boy’s. But, in general, I like to take advice-seekers at their word. If he says he THINKS the baby is his, he, like us, knows there is the possibility that it’s not; there could be some unstated reason, other than denial, behind his hypothesis. Anyway, paternity tests, whether by medical lab or blog consensus, are — for the purposes of the advice he is asking for here — somewhat beside the point. He’s asking what, if anything, he can do to get her back, and underneath that, I think, he’s asking for someone to tell him that yes, he may have some growing up to do before he can settle down with anyone, as a boyfriend or a husband/father/etc.

Also, let me say for the record (in response to Louis) that I would never, EVER tinker with the advice I offer just to provoke response from commenters. I’m just glad you’re all here.

By: Louis

Louis — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:48:09 +0000

Unless Lynn sandbagged us to further the discussion, I believe it quite naive to assume that ‘partying’ is the reason for his girlfriend leaving him. Rather, I would agree with a couple of other posts here that the woman has been having sex with the new squeeze for a few weeks and thus the baby is not country boy’s, and thus he should walk. Go back after a bit?! Terrible advice, he is not a super hero and has no business rescuing her or the baby!

This would be better framed as a classic case where a man has been duped by society (along with the rest of us) into believing that there are ‘good girls’ and there are ’sluts’, while ‘all men are pigs’ and the more women they bed the better. In short, he believed and more importantly STILL believes that his girlfriend is a ‘good girl’. Unfortunately, this is utter nonsense, for most women love sex, and the good girl/slut paradigm is a distortion of reality, it is merely a device to, somewhat ironically given the present situaton, protect men’s paternity. Like a burkha, the intent is to keep women from having promiscuous sex and/or acting on impulse, thus assuring that any child is one particular man’s. The critical element is that cowboy could not even imagine that his girlfriend was with another guy, despite the anger of his girlfriend (grounded by the good girl/slut tension in her mind); the abrupt dumping (she was with the other guy…hello!); and his thinking that the baby was his (’my girlfriend is a good girl, she would never do that…’).

In the end, Cowboy is only a little neurotic and in blaming the split on himself, which is whole lot betta than him having a character disorder and going into a rage a blaming the girlfriend; good on ya, cowboy! As for the woman, she merely has a healthy appetite and adores sex, and while she could have perhaps navigated her way through her relationships with a little more integrity and ‘protection’, she is perfectly entitled to get laid as much as she wants. As for Lynn, I am sorry to say, while I do enjoy your column, I believe, sweet lady, that you completely missed the boat on this one - or were you simply sand-bagging us?

In love and sex,

Louis

By: Ed

Ed — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:29:05 +0000

Odds are not good its countryboys baby. H should ask for DNA tests - if its his then be there for the kid, but he’s better off without her.

By: susan smith

susan smith — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:21:20 +0000

Guess what country boy, did you ever think the baby is the man she is dating now and that is why you were fighting. she was cheating.. daaaaaaaaaa…

By: Joe

Joe — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:23:20 +0000

My impression is this: if she ditched Country Boy to go date another guy while pregnant, right away, she was almost certainly banging the other guy before she ditched Country Boy. It would help to know the details about how she met Country Boy in the first place. Did she jump right from another relationship to dating him? Did they overlap?

By: Peter

Peter — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:50:21 +0000

Sounds like she may have been 2-timing and the baby may possibly not be Country Boy’s or she see’s Country Boy as a doofus and sees the 2nd guy as a better latch-on who’ll take better care of her. Who knows, maybe she’ll lie to the other guy. Who knows what’s true in any of this story.

By: Alter Ego » Now at MSN.com: Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Alter Ego » Now at MSN.com: Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:06:22 +0000

[...] Now at MSN.com: Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow This week’s Ask Lynn — the advice column penned by Breakup Girl’s alter ego — has been posted at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). [...]

By: Laura

Laura — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:05:26 +0000

Comment regarding the clingy pregnant girlfriend in article of June 24, 2008. Sounds to me like this is a logical outcome of being pregnant but with no permanent commitment of marriage. She subconsciously senses that he is not interested in making a permanent commitment to her and the baby and this is obvious since he is still a little immature - needing too much time on his own. When a baby comes, the last thing he is going to be able to worry about is “HIS” time. Babies need mature, unselfish fathers, and I think she somehow realizes she doesn’t have one.