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April 18

What wouldn’t Breakup Girl do? Like, ever?

Filed under: Advice,News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:31 pm

Sometimes people take one look at the name of this website, see the words “breakup” and “.net,” and — without a further glance — think, “Oh! That must be a place that encourages the posting of vengeful, personal, and possibly actionable rants about their exes!” Nope, sorry. That’s YouTube.

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Dumper’s Remorse

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 12:02 pm

Classic LetterHaving second thoughts on January 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,
If you do dump him, then realize it was a bad idea, how do you ask him back out without letting him think that he has you wrapped arounnd his finger?
— Just Curious

Dear Just Curious,
Here’s how: pick up the phone, dial all but one digit of his number, hang up the phone, and wait two weeks. Why? IMPORTANT BREAKUP GIRL MAXIM: having lingering feelings for an ex does not necessarily mean the breakup was a “bad idea.” It just means you kinda sorta miss someone that you had some good times with. If you really, rationally think that you want another chance (and you have at least two friends who endorse this decision), then after two weeks, you may actually call him and ask him out. Once. Casually. If he says no, let him go.
Love,
Breakup Girl

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What does happen in Vegas, anyway?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:55 am

Classic LetterAnother quickie from January 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,
I have a great guy, but he is known to play girls. He’s going to Las Vegas and I’m afraid he’s gonna cheat. He said he won’t — is he for real?
— Air-N

Dear Air-N,
Vegas? Girl, you’re the one who’s gambling.
Love,
Breakup Girl

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April 17

The Basics

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:47 am

Classic LetterA quickie from January 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,
How do you ask someone out?
— Ms. Apodaca

Dear Ms. Apodaca,
The real question is, “What do you wear to ask someone out?” And the answer is: your ultra-protective Pride suit (think “Outbreak,” or the end of “E.T.”). Zip it up, and pop the question. If the answer’s yes, great. But if the answer’s no, you’re covered — your suit won’t let it get under your skin. Right?
Love,
Breakup Girl

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April 16

Boy on the Side

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 2:57 pm

Classic LetterWanting it all on January 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,
My “friend” lives in Seattle, I live in St. Louis. I was dating another fellow here, but he broke up with me when I went to visit the guy in Seattle. Problem is, I see the Seattle one only about every six months. I don’t have any commitment from him. So how can I start dating someone in St. Louis and not have them break up with me when I want to see my friend in Seattle? It’s very lonely waiting and not knowing when I will see my Seattle friend.
— Becca

Dear Becca,
Lose Seattle Boy, pronto. All he has to offer you is sleeplessness, heartache, and a great cup of coffee once every six months. Right now you are trying to have two cakes and eat them both — but you’re really getting crumbs of dry, day-old biscotti that aren’t worth it the first place. You will be much less lonely without Seattle, because you will be free — actually and emotionally — to meet St. Louis.
Love,
Breakup Girl

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April 15

“Freemales:” heinous buzzword, welcome concept

Filed under: News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:27 pm

This Broadsheet post at Salon.com by FOBG Sarah Hepola is so delightful and spot-on, we’re just going to cut and paste the whole damn thing.

Good news for single women between the ages of 25 and 44 — not only are you a booming demographic, but you also might not be a poor and luckless lonelyheart. Go figure. All this, and you get your own buzzword, too! According to the Guardian:

“‘Freemales’ — manless women who are happy to remain so for the present at least — are now a force to be reckoned with and are overturning the dated Bridget Jones image of the lonely woman staring despondently at an empty Chardonnay bottle. They are too busy living life to the full to make time for ‘Mr Mediocre’ and the last thing on their minds is, ‘Will I find Mr Right today?'”

Well, good for them. I’m always skeptical of these trend pieces, but it’s nice to hear news stories about women who are actually happy with their current situation. Too many articles depict a stricken, desperate existence for us single women. (Lori Gottlieb, anyone?) But not all single women are fumbling for the panic button. In fact, a new report in Britain states that while the number of women living alone between 25 and 44 doubled in the past two decades, “more than two-thirds of people questioned in a recent survey believed they did not need a partner to enjoy a happy and fulfilled life.”

Now, let’s admit that “freemales” is a terrible buzzword. It sounds like the kind of account you get when you join Yahoo. (I have been amusing myself by pronouncing the word like “tamale.” Sorry, just living life to the fullest! You know how we freemales get!) Apparently, I am on the “terrible buzzword” beat: It was only last week I wrote about “thrisis,” the acute anxiety of mid-thirtysomethings freaking out about their future. But since we do so much reporting on what is tough and frustrating and painful about being a woman, I thought it was worthwhile to hear that some news, dumb buzzword notwithstanding, isn’t so bad. As one single woman quoted in the article noted: “It’s not difficult being single. It’s not lonely. It’s pleasurable.”

By the way, in my experience, it is occasionally difficult being single. Rumor has it, that’s true of marriage, too.

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Now at MSN.com: The audacity of Hopeful-Yet-Hopeless

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 5:47 am

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week, we meet “Hopeful, Yet Hopeless.” (Hmm! That sounds promising, yet not.)

So HYH has this friend. They’ve got “so much in common,” and they’re even attracted to each other. Cue: the catch! There’s a 15-year age difference (check the letter to find out which way), and neither of them is Ashton Kutcher. But how much should age matter here — and is it really the issue in the first place? Which side of the “Yet” should HYH be on? Read the letter and response for the deets, and then come back here to comment!

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April 14

“34”

Filed under: Comics — posted by Chris @ 6:21 am

For Special Agent Jackie Bauer it’s the biological clock that’s ticking…

34, Page 1

(more…)

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April 11

Being There

Filed under: Advice — posted by BG Friday @ 6:23 am

Classic LetterYou’ve got a friend on January 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,
How do you comfort your best friend when her live-in boyfriend dumped her after seven years?
–Confused

Dear Confused,
Bless your heart for asking. But you should really ask her: What do you need? What can I get for you? Do you want to talk about it, or do you want some distraction? When should I just leave you alone? Would you like a spoon for that? Don’t tell her you know what she’s going through; don’t offer unsolicited analyses of “what went wrong;” don’t go out with her boyfriend. Let her call the shots — just do your best to let her know that you, unlike certain people, will always be there for her.
Love,
Breakup Girl

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April 9

Breaking up via text message

Filed under: News,TV — posted by Chris @ 3:19 pm

The blogosphere is OMGing over Gossip Boy Chace Crawford’s split with Idol darling Carrie Underwood via text message. Sure the couple were dunzo a while azo, but a fresh quote from Carrie over the weekend provided the juicy SMS twist to their “mutual” breakup that has people typing.To us, Charrie (Crawwood?) never seemed so serious that decorum would dictate a face-to-face breakup — especially with C-Bear constantly on tour — but there’s something about texting that suggests “I want to spend as little time on this breakup as possible and use the fewest number of letters.” Ouch. What do people think? Is this the appropriate way to extricate oneself when one of the parties has their own commemorative Louisville Slugger?

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