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Breakup Girl » 2009 » August
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August 31, 2009

This week at Happen: Short Leash!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:37 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week they’re highlighting the letter from Overwhelmed, whose girlfriend keeps him on a very short leash. Read the letter at Happen — or even check out our previous posting — and add your thoughts below!

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August 28, 2009

Tastes like chicken

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:05 am

A moving response on March 2, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I dated this guy for six months. I’m 40, he’s 25. We were getting along so great — then as soon as I let down my walls, told him I had feelings for him, he broke up with me. He’s moving away and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. What’s the deal? Plus, I hate being broken up with by e-mail … what a coward. .

–Deena


Dear Deena,

You guys have heard what I always say about the C-word. You know, Canada. Where people tend to flee to when they feel like they’re about to have to make a commitment (for Canadians, it’s Cleveland). Which is most likely what happened with your young buck. And in this case I think it was more a function of age (sowage of wild oats surplus, yada yada yada) than of gender.

(more…)

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August 27, 2009

Girls: School sexual assault=fact of life?

Filed under: News, Psychology — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:32 am

From CityTV.com in Toronto, via Bitch Ph.D.:

…It appears a growing number of young girls are not only being sexually assaulted [in school], but have come to think of it as a normal part of their educational experience.

Recent studies from both the Board’s Safety Panel and the Canadian Centre for Addiction and Mental Health show some shocking stats at one school: 33 per cent say they’ve been sexually harassed in the past two years; another 29 admit to having been touched or grabbed inappropriately and seven per cent have actually been victims of a major sexual assault.

“You just hear jokes [being yelled out] all the time that have to do with girls doing sexual things,” said Madison Fitzgerald, a Toronto high school student.

“There’s a lot of groping and touching in our school.,” said another.

But Connelly believes it’s a problem that’s endemic to halls of learning across the country. “One of the concerns is the alarming rate of gender-based violence, and 21 per cent of the students that were surveyed said that they knew at least one student who was sexually assaulted at school. Now there’s sexual harassment, which is talking inappropriately and there’s sexual harassment which is being touched inappropriately. So the 21 per cent are talking about sexual assault.

“Twenty-nine per cent of Grade 9 girls … felt unsafe at school partly due to sexual comments and unwanted looks or touches; 27 per cent of the girls in Grade 11 admitted to being pressured into doing something sexual that they did not want to do; 14 per cent of the females reported being harassed over the Internet.”

She worries that’s becoming the ‘new normal’ and an accepted mode of behaviour that’s just part of going to class everyday. “They take it for granted that this is the way they should be treated,” she concludes.

Some experts believe the situation is exacerbated because most kids don’t understand exactly what “sexual assault” actually entails.

But at least the grownups are finally starting to call it that. Though they may need to move a little more quickly to educate everyone about what’s appropriate and what’s just … no. Then — holy grail — you need to get the popular kids to call out the others when it happens.

Me, I remember a bit of vaguely line-crossing stuff that happened when I was in school, shortly after the Peloponnesian War. Whether or not I told, which I probably did not, I remember that in general the adults’ response would be “Eh, he’s just doing it because he likes you.” And I remember that weird mix of feelings that I didn’t know what to do with, that uncomfortably prickly mishmash of “Eee, really?! and “Eeuw.” Not helpful.

Q: What kind of sexual harassment is — or was — considered “normal” at your school? What, if anything, was done about it?

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August 26, 2009

Twilight fright

Filed under: Treats, pop culture — posted by Breakup Girl @ 12:05 pm

Now, I love Etsy. But a life-size wall decal of Edward Cullen? To put “on the back of your bedroom door so he can be intrigued while you sleep“!?!? [Emphasis added, from under my bed.] Yiiiii! Somebody call Buffy!

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August 25, 2009

Total eclipse of the chart

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:54 am

More love-music-nerd geen-yus. (Best viewed here.)

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Very important data

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:19 am

Via GraphJam.com:

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August 24, 2009

When love makes history

Filed under: News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:36 am

Via On Top:

Openly lesbian Cambridge, Massachusetts Mayor E. Denise Simmons will marry her longtime partner Mattie B. Hayes Sunday, August 30. The couple will exchange vows in a predominantly African-American church, a possible historic first.

“I believe this may be the very first African-American church to hold a same gender wedding, and that’s something that just wouldn’t have happened years ago,” Simmons said in a press release.

“But times are changing, people are becoming more accepting of their fellow citizens, and we are slowly arriving at more of a ‘live-and-let-live’ kind of world,” she added.

The ceremony will take place at the historic St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church near Harvard Square and will be conducted by Rev. Leslie K. Sterling.

The announcement of an Episcopal Church blessing a lesbian marriage comes quick on the heels of a historic church vote that gives bishops the discretion to bless gay unions, especially in states where gay marriage or civil unions are legal.

The state of Massachusetts was the first to legalize gay marriage five years ago. Since then over 16,000 gay and lesbian couples have exchanged vows in the state.

In 2008, Simmons made history when she became the nation’s first openly lesbian African-American mayor. She replaced Kenneth Reeves, America’s first openly gay African-American mayor.

“It’s not an easy process, and there have certainly been some detours along the way,” Simmons said about the acceptance of gay men and lesbians in society, “but I think all the kind words I’ve received about this ceremony suggest we’re living in a friendlier, more open society. Our society is definitely making progress.”

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Attention Boston ladies: Jason is waitin’

Filed under: News — posted by Maria @ 8:52 am

Nothing says friendship like starting a blog to find your buddy a girl. And so on Aug. 1, Date a Jason was born.

Josh, friend of Jason, told the Boston Globe he created the site because his friend is a good guy who deserves to find a good woman. He also believes bars are bad for meeting women, dating websites are too confusing and dating stinks in Boston. Apparently none of that is true of Blogger, however.

The site features pictures of Jason — including the obligatory shot with his shirt off — and the following description:

This site is dedicated to my single, disease free, friend Jason (Age 28). We’ve tried all the other bull shit. BBQs, bars, friends of friends, etc…So we are taking the search online. He’s a fun, interesting, smart, and gainfully employed guy who likes to travel and stay active. Just recently moved into downtown Boston. Looking to meet a nice young woman. If are interested please contact us at: Date.A.Jason@gmail.com

To tell the truth, Jason is sort of cute and I’m sure he’ll prove very popular with the Boston-area ladies. He’ll probably even get his own reality TV program.

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Now at MSN: Torn between 2 guys & my bf hates my twin

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:44 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that sometimes you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen.

1. This week at Happen they are showcasing the letter from Torn-up Tanya who can’t decide between giving her ex another chance or a brand new boy (rebound?). Lynn offers some pointers to help Tanya decide; See if you agree.

2. Also, new this month: double trouble. My boyfriend hates my twin! As always, then dish about it here.

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August 21, 2009

Finding love means sometimes using a blowtorch

Filed under: Treats — posted by Maria @ 9:19 am

With the exception of the Iron Chef shows, I readily admit that I do not watch a lot of reality cooking programs. I’m just not sure what I’m supposed to be getting from these shows that pit big city chefs against each other and force them to concoct 12-course meals without using flour, sugar, water and milk and instead focusing all their food on lavender-infused soy milk. And I supposed I’ve worked in to many kitchens to care about the heightened drama TV tries to lend to those places.

That said, I am addicted to $12 Challenge. It’s a dating and food competition all rolled into one. The tag line for the Web-based series on Food2.com is: “2 Love-Hungry Cooks. 1 Hot Date. 1 Ticking Clock and $12. Oh, and the City is their only kitchen.”

The competitors are regular people — not real chefs — and they have $12 and two hours to buy and cook a meal of the datee’s choice. And they have to use their creativity to figure out how to cook these meals. In the most recent Webisode, for example, Chanell and Athena are competing for a date with Larry who wants steak and eggs (and is, “Hungry for everything — love, food…” Such a player!). Chanell cooks her meal at a dry cleaners using an iron (it turns out that you CAN cook eggs with an iron if you have to) and Athena uses a blowtorch at a body shop for hers. Other wannabe lovers have talked their way into deli’s and restaurants and used real kitchens, but it’s much more entertaining to watch the girls wielding their improvised searing implements to get their food done.

Best of all, the episodes are about five minutes long. Perfect for procrastinating work without demanding too much of a commitment.

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