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Breakup Girl » 2009 » September
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September 30, 2009

Do women like their men poached?

Filed under: Psychology — posted by Breakup Girl @ 2:20 pm

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A new study seems to say so. It suggests, even, that women are not only more attracted to taken men — call it the “stamp of approval” factor — but also actually willing to pursue them.

“The next question is why,” says researcher Melissa Burkley. In further research, she plans to explore women’s motives even more. One possibility, she speculates: competition; the [alleged, or at least pretty illusory -- BG] satisfaction — and self-esteem — derived from mate-stealing.

BG is perhaps naively surprised by these findings. After all, poaching is, of course, verboten. But now I’m curious. Have you [ladies] ever poached? If so, why? Any aftermath?

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September 29, 2009

Missed connections, illustrated

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:56 am

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Via BuzzFeed: A Brooklyn artist beautifully illustrates the sweet, elegiac art of the “missed connection.”

Even if ” white guy, brown hair, blue/white striped shirt, earphones, red book” never again sees “white girl, brown hair, nosering, headphones, blue book,” their would-be love will be brought to life here.

Bonus reading: Mikki Halpin’s poignant and hilarious “My Year of Missed Connections.” (Featured, along with an essay by BG’s alter ego, in Single State of the Union: Single Women Speak Out on Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness.)

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September 28, 2009

This week at Happen: Mixed signals from ex

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:55 am

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MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week they are featuring the letter from Rubbed Wrong, who was dumped by a guy who continues to act like a boyfriend whenever they see eachother. Read the advice at Happen, then come back here to comment! You can also read the comments from our original posting of the letter.

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September 25, 2009

Living with a crush

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:12 am

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Love moves in on March 2, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I recently had a new roommate move into my house. What had recently been a household of girls has now undergone some testosterone revamping. When this guy moved in I thought nothing of him, but now I’m finding myself oddly attracted and I think he’s into me to. What should I do, four months to go and I don’t know if I should tell him or keep it to myself and forget him. Help me!

– Romancing Roomie


Dear Romancing,

Living together is generally something people do after they’ve made a commitment. In your case, play it safe. I wouldn’t want something to be over before it even begins; when your ex is your roommate, all of a sudden those toothpaste trails s/he leaves aren’t so “adorable” anymore. Savor the crush — four months isn’t that long — and when he moves out, then you can consider how to move in.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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September 24, 2009

Love and Lycanthropy

Filed under: books — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:29 am

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Sure vampires are big now, but once New Moon comes out, Breakup Girl is going to be flooded with questions about dating WEREWOLVES. As a public service, we thought we’d head off some of these inquiries by asking the REAL professors of lycanthropy, Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers, authors of The Werewolf’s Guide to Life: A Manual for the Newly Bitten.

1. What’s the best way to tell your boy/girlfriend you’re a werewolf?

Short answer?
Don’t.
At least not right away. The newly bitten werewolf already has “a significant other” to deal with, and it’s the savage killing machine they are going to be turning into every month. You know how when people break up with you they say “I need some space?” Well, if you’re a werewolf, the “space” you’re going to need is inside a cage made of re-enforced steel, which isn’t going to build itself. You’re gonna be pretty busy, and the month leading up to your first transformation simply isn’t the time for casual dating.

This isn’t to say that you can’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s just that right now, time is of the essence, and you should take a break from any relationship you aren’t positive will last to come to grips with your condition in as much secrecy as possible. You are going through some serious changes, and like any relationship, it’s not a good idea to stay involved in it unless you are confident about who YOU are. Figure that out first, and keep your secret well. Marriage, of course- is a different story.

(more…)

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September 23, 2009

The rules of engagement photos

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:36 am

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Many of those rules are broken here. (Why are so many people upside-down?)

(Bonus MUST-CLICK video, created pre-embed-code:

This, people, is how it’s done.)

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September 22, 2009

Advice update: What happened in Vegas!

Filed under: Advice, News, Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:49 am

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Perhaps you recall this no-longer-lovelorn letter from Cheryl, who’d been head over hizzeells with her boss, though he “never gave [her] any reason to think he was the least bit interested.” Well! After moving to a better job, she told us, she — per BG’s advice, ahem — gave it one shot with him, and…cue wedding chapel bells! Here is the happy couple, Cheryl just wrote to tell us, on their happy day, lucky 9-09-09. Congratulations!

Disclaimer: Remember, the goal of life/love/this website is not GET MARRIEDMARRIEDMARRIEDMARRIED. (Or even DON’TBESINGLESINGLESINGLE.) You’ve got enough people telling you that. We just want you to be happy — whatever that looks like for you. Cheers!

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September 21, 2009

This week at Happen: Too much guy-time

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:57 am

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MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week they highlight the letter from a gal who is Sick of Seeing Both Sides in her struggle for attention from her beau. He can be sweet and attentive when they’re alone, but he ignores her when he’s with his guy friends and frequently leaves her at home so he can hang out with them. Read the letter at Happen — or check out our previous posting of the advice — then come back here to comment!

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September 18, 2009

Hot for yoga teacher

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:59 am

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It’s a stretch on March 2, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have a crush on my yoga teacher — how can I get his attention? I don’t ask guys out as a rule, so that’s out. I’ve been smiling at him and saying hello. Oddly, this technique has always worked. He has given me a funny face twice. What could that possibly mean? Thanks Breakup Girl, you give me strength!

– Jeni


Dear Jeni,

Is it Breakup Girl that gives you strength, or the fact that you’ve been going to Yoga nine times a week? Anyway, as weird as this is going to sound, the way to get his attention just might be to start taking someone else’s class that meets at the same time. I am not recommending that you play some sort of hard-to-get game. It’s just that your teacher’s “funny” expression is probably an ancient Sanskrit facial posture meaning “I’d love to take you out for some soy milk, but I don’t date my students.”

Love,
Breakup Girl

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Looking for peace

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:50 am

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Trying to deal on March 2, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I can’t get away from the feeling that all men are scum after a recent experience, and yet I find myself still thinking about the man concerned. What will snap me out of it other than another man? Should I start Yoga or something?

– D.P.O.W.


Dear D.P.O.W.,

The popularity of Yoga has indeed been blamed for the niceification of New York City. So yeah, it might take the edge off. And if you’re anything like Jeni (above), you might meet someone there.

But let me caution you about something else: no one gets away with the “men are scum” thing here at breakupgirl.net. If you can’t live with ‘em, then live without ‘em. Everyone get this straight: BREAKUPS ARE PIGS.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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