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September 17

Make sure *you* keep the sex tapes

Filed under: News — posted by Maria @ 10:13 am

And I was worried about getting my books back from my ex when we broke up!

A man in China was so upset when his girlfriend broke up with him (via text message) that he threatened to post their sex videos online if she didn’t get back together with him. He also stole her wallet.

This display of chivalry did not make her change her mind. Instead, it made her call the cops. The gent was placed on probation and sentenced to 100 hours of community service. The judge told Chris Brown him he was lucky he got off with a light sentence.

The whole story — bad English translation included — is here.


September 16

Breaking up is easier with vodka and tunes

Filed under: pop culture — posted by Maria @ 3:12 pm

Not very long ago I sent out a request to my friends for breakup songs. While mine was for a relationship breakup, Aunt Becky over at Mommy Wants Vodka (one of my favorite names for a blog, EVER! mostly because I feel that!) has put together her list of Songs To Break Up To for her breakup with Diet Coke. (I feel you there too, sista!)

Her songs include: “Always On My Mind” by Elvis Presley; “Good Year For The Roses” by Elvis Costello; “Pictures of You” by The Cure (of course); “November Rain” by Guns ‘n’ Roses and “Delicate” by Damien Rice.

None of these songs was on the lists my friends suggested. Over in my world (my roughly post-1990 world) we had: “How to fight Loneliness” by Wilco; “Harder Now that It’s Over” by Ryan Adams; “February” by Dar Williams; “Done Wrong” by Ani DiFranco — actually, there was a lot of Ryan Adams and Ani DiFranco, now that I think about it. And the Magnetic Fields — though a few of my friends thought that might drive me to suicide at the time and prudently left them off their lists.

I’m not in a breakup right stage right now — though I am seriously considering breaking up with network TV this season. But I’d still like your suggestions. What are your favorite breakup songs?


All’s fair in love and ping pong

Filed under: News — posted by Maria @ 8:02 am

It only took two silver Olympic metals and becoming the reigning table tennis world champion for China to allow Wang Hao to date.

The country exerts rigorous controls over its athletes’ lives, often banning them from dating or marrying until a certain age. But this month, China allowed the 25-year-old to date his former national teammate, 23-year-old Peng Luyang.

“Both of them are old enough and it’s normal,” the government-owned China Daily quoted Peng’s coach Qiao Yunping as saying.

Yikes! What would happen if the U.S. government controlled the dating lives of our athletes?! What would the tabloids have to write about? Half our celebrity gossip would be gone! Luckily, we’d still have reality TV and the Gosselins to keep us fascinated. New hairstyle, you say? I’m riveted!


September 15

We need to talk…before the full moon

Filed under: books,Comedy — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:30 am

“Honey, there’s something I need to tell you. I’m a lycanthrope.”
“Wait. A what? Is that that word that means you’re stingy? Or no, isn’t that something you do in Cirque de Soleil?”
“Not exactly … ”

How to break the news to your partner that you’re a werewolf? Consult The Werewolf’s Guide to Life: A Manual for the Newly Bitten
by FOBGs Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers, out today!

Watch this space for a forthcoming Q&A with the authors — but meanwhile, some tips for The Talk:


September 14

This week at Happen: Baby mama drama?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:12 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn answers a letter from a gal who is dating a guy with an ex and child attached. He seems to be saying and doing all the right things, yet she is Afraid of baby mama drama. Is she being overly cautious or playing it just cool enough? Sound off here!


September 11

There’s always a bat mitzvah

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:32 am

Classic wisdom from March 2, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have a friend who wants to break up with her boyfriend. Unfortunately, he got laid off the day she wanted to “do the deed.” She (politely) opted not to tell him and has continued to go on with the relationship until she can find a more “suitable” time to let him go. My question is, what’s the holdover time on breaking up after a lay-off?

— Shady

Dear Shady,

When Breakup Girl was 13, Breakup Mom had a routine checkup with a doctor who, it turned out, wasn’t quite convinced that she was getting enough rest or taking kind enough care of Numero Uno. Mom dismissed the concern, saying, “Well, I’m sure it’s just because my daughter’s bat mitzvah is coming up.” The doctor raised an eybrow. “Mrs. Breakup,” he said wisely, “there’s always a bat mitzvah.”

Meaning what? That there’s always some intervening concern, some source of angst that can conveniently explain away why we haven’t quite joined the gym or spent more quality time with our families or … gone through with a breakup. So. Your friend (“friend?”) was right to spare him the brush-off the very day of the lay-off, but really only a few days after that would be sufficient. Don’t let her let the lay-off become an excuse, a stalling chip.



September 10

BG is “hiring!”

Filed under: Uncategorized — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:59 pm

Web superhero seeks part-time sidekicks to fight crimes of the heart for fun and clips!

Us: Venerable, award-winning website about love, and/or lack thereof, geared for both men and women and combining witty advice with sophisticated superhero comic-strip adventures. Our likes include: snappy dialogue, Rachel Maddow, Evil Willow (as played by Good Willow), hairpin turns of phrase, detectives, print, lime green, Rosalind Russell, X-ray insight, Wonderfalls, clean copy, the heart of the matter, matters of the heart. We’re continuing to build out our relatively new blog component, and we are seeking a few new sidekicks to join our existing super-bloggers for help with additional content: posts, Tweets, maybe more.

You: Ace reporter, crackerjack writer. Able to spot relationship-related news stories and the clever or insightful angle therein. You should have your own distinct voice and take, but should also be willing to roll with us in terms of style and philosophy. We may also want you to help track and moderate blog comments when necessary, and possibly, if you’re up for it, to curate new editorial features. Swinging geeky is good; affinity for superheroes a plus.

Pay: Alas, none. This is a very part-time (part-part-time?) pursuit in which you may engage from the privacy of your own home/cafe/McJob. While we are exacting in terms of quality, we flexible and understanding in terms of time commitment.

Payoff: Honing of your voice and your nose for news. Tons of [short] clips. Some cachet / street cred. The opportunity to become part of a tight, fun team who will give you impressive references. And, possibly, your very own cartoon alter ego.

If you are interested, please e-mail bg@breakupgirl.net with a cover letter, resume, and writing sample(s). Hot tip: Make sure your cover letter shows that you’ve spent time familiarizing yourself with the website. If you don’t happen to have writing samples about BG-related topics, that’s fine; we just need to see good writing and that virtual sparkle in your eye.

Thank you!
Team BG


Ode to oversharers

Filed under: Comedy,pop culture — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:58 am

Please enjoy — if not tweet — this APB about TMI from FOBG Rob Paravonian*:

* That’s him playing and singing on all the BG animation!


September 9

Love makes author go ’round world

Filed under: books,News,pop culture — posted by Rose @ 12:12 pm

Lemons: Being dumped at altar. Taking honeymoon with brother.

Lemonade: Penning NYT bestseller Honeymoon With My Brother.

For his next trick, self-described “professional dumpee” Franz Wisner, author of the above, is releasing his followup work, How the World Makes Love: . . . And What It Taught a Jilted Groom.
This time, the brothers Wisner trekked to seven different countries — Brazil, New Zealand, Egypt, India, the Czech Republic, Nicaragua and Botswana; not a mix that’ll help you win Risk — to see what love looks like ’round the world. We welcome Wisner back from his second honeymoon!


September 8

Ridding the world of white shoes after Labor Day!

Filed under: Celebrities,media,pop culture,Superheroes,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:51 am

From the AP :

Tim Gunn is taking his fight against fashion crimes from the workrooms of “Project Runway” to the pages of a comic book. And, wow, does he get to wear a power suit.

The “Loaded Gunn” story line — to save an exhibit of extraordinary superhero clothes from a cadre of villains — is part of a book that reintroduces a group of Marvel’s high-fashion “Models Inc.” comic characters from the 1960s.

“It’s a little `America’s Next Top Model’ — without Tyra (Banks) — and a little `Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,'” says Marvel editor Charlie Beckerman.

The Gunn project evolved on a whim, but it turned out Gunn was a childhood comic fan and a good sport, Beckerman says.

Gunn says the experience has been “the most bizarre thing.”

“It’s exciting and exhilarating, but bizarre. When they came to me, I said, `I’m about to turn 56 years old. Are they crazy?’ But it kept revealing itself in layers and next thing, I’m wearing the `Iron Man’ suit. I was dumbstruck.”

Personally, Gunn says he always fancied himself more of a Batman type, but he’s pleased with the result.

“Most superheroes are fighting the same thing — good vs. evil — but who’s taking on crimes against fashion? Me!”

The biggest offense, hands down: clothes that don’t fit properly, Gunn says. And, if he had the truly incredible power to remove one item from closets all around the world, no question it would be Crocs.

“It’s the No. 1 fashion crime item — and I see it a lot,” Gunn says.

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