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July 19

Missed connections

Filed under: Comedy — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:38 am

In more ways than one.

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Carrie’s Sparkly Wedding!

Filed under: Celebrities — posted by Chris @ 10:37 am

carrie-underwood-240We at BreakupGirl.net have been huge fans of Carrie since Idol, and no matter how magical her life has gotten since winning, we have found it impossible to hate her. This unconditional love was put to the test with her fairytale wedding to ultimate-catch/hockey player Mike Fisher, detailed in this weekend’s People. Usually other people’s weddings, in particular the kind that garner this kind of EXCLUSIVE! coverage, have us reaching for the tylenol. But not this one. We are thrilled for the still-humble Okie! How is this possible? Maybe because it’s just another perk of winning Idol, which we helped make happen. The biggest perk we’ve ever seen, come to think of it. Although that Mustang was nice.

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July 16

My heart is so big and loving, yet no one loves me. I’m so lonely.

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:39 am

Big-hearted on April 6, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I don’t think that anyone in this whole entire universe could understand how I feel right now. You see, I’m 14, and there’s is this boy I’m so in love with. (We’ll call him Z.) I’ve liked him ever since he moved here seven months ago. Then he started going out with this other girl, who I’m sorta friends with.

Oh Breakup Girl! My heart is so broken. I cry myself to sleep every single night. I’m the only one in my whole group of friends without a boyfriend? What’s wrong with me? I can’t be that bad! I swear, if those boys just gave me a CHANCE, I could be the best girlfriend. Nothing works. My heart is so big and loving, yet no one loves me. I’m so lonely.

As for Z, well, I really can’t get over this. When I asked him out in the beginning of the year he said no because he didn’t know me that well. But he didn’t know the girl he’s going out with now AT ALL! It’s not fair. I truly LOVE him, with all my little shattered heart, I love him. I can hardly sleep, eat, or anything. I would do anything…anything for him to just love me. I know it sounds crazy, but we were meant to be. I saw them hug and I went bawling. It kills me. )=

Please help me. I don’t even love myself, all I do is pretend…pretend to be happy. I’m glad me and Z are friends, but I love him. I don’t know what to do….I wish I could just tell him, but then his girlfriend would be soo mad at me. I’m so nice — i swear, I could really love him….if I just got a chance– ya know?

Why does no one give me chance? Why should I have to be so lonely? What should I do? It’s so hard to face him. I just wish he could love me the way I love him.

— Big Heart

(more…)

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July 15

Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, this is my stop

Filed under: pop culture,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:34 am

To me, this represents the pure hell-of-it feel-the-force joy of humanity that could make even the most breakingupiest of us crack a(n) (Obi) wan smile:

(Real it is, young Jedi.)

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July 14

Before He Cheats: the store

Filed under: News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:19 am

It’s sort of a “spa day” in hell: a new store in a Chinese mall where women — only women — can go to vent their rage by literally picking up a bat and breaking sh*t. Apparently their frustrations are mainly job[lessness] and economy-related, but of course we can imagine (though perhaps not support) the grand opening of their sister store, Break Your Ex’s Sh*t. I do have some questions, though:

1. Where are the men, going, then? (Naive, probably: I’m guessing that women have fewer societally-sanctioned alternatives for letting all hella loose.)

2. Do we have such places here? According to the comments at Jezebel (h/t for the story), the answer is yes.

3. If you were to open such a place of business, what would you stock it with and why?

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July 13

Block that Ex!

Filed under: media,News,pop culture — posted by Paula @ 8:49 am

(via Jess3 blog)– New plugin The Ex-blocker, designed by the Jess 3 agency, gives jilted lovers the opportunity to create a Spotless Mind, or at least a spotless internet environment, free from any triggering exposure to their exes.

The app, which works with Chrome and Firefox, can not only remove your ex’s name from Twitter and Facebook, but from the entire intertubez if you so desire.

Is such an obliteration of reality healthy?

Melysha Jane Acharya, author of  The Breakup Workbook: A Common Sense Guide to Getting Over Your Ex opined to BreakupGirl.net: “The internet can provide an open window into an ex’s life. Choosing to use this app means you’re making an active choice to get over your former love and move forward with your life.”

Sounds good to us. We may apply it to certain other popular terms we need a break from: “vuvuzela,” “Lindsay Lohan,” “Post-T-Vac,” etc.

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July 12

This week at Happen: Fear of flying

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:38 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn tries to help Grounded Girl achieve liftoff with the new guy in town who is a sightseeing pilot, despite the fact that she is afraid to fly.

When he sees me in town, he turns his truck headlights on and honks and waves. He has sent so much attention my way. I always smile and act friendly and happy to see him. Why doesn’t he call and ask to take me out?

Why doesn’t she make the first move? What’s she really afraid of? Read the full advice over at Happen, then share your thoughts below!

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July 9

Business AND pleasure

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:30 am

Mixing work and play on April 6, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’m a single guy in my mid-twenties. I’ve been seeing this girl for several months, and everything’s been fine until lately. See, she’s my boss — mid-thirties, recently divorced (about a year ago).

I know she’s probably just using me, but that’s okay by me when we’re not at the office. But lately she’s been wanting to get, er, frisky…at the office, during work hours. That’s where I draw the line. We’ve always been good about keeping business and pleasure separate up until now, but I’m afraid of getting busted in the act and ruining my reputation at work. But I’m afraid if I break it off with her, she’ll trash my career. What should I do?

— Jake in Jacksonville

Dear Jake,

You’re right; getting “frisky” at the office will not put you on the short list for Employee of the Month. Then again, neither will dumping your boss.

Oh, Jake, what were you thinking?! See, you guys, that’s why I’m telling you that whatever you pursue at the office has to hold promise of an Actual Relationship, not just Adult Xeroxing.

Bail, bail, bail. And pray that she doesn’t retaliate. If you do wind up having to leave, well, let’s just say that BG is not convinced that you had wholesome, promising growith opportunities at Disclosure, Inc. in the first place. Also, remember that if you interview elsewhere, you’re going to have to tell them why you left your previous job. I’d fib.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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July 5

BG is on vaca.

Filed under: Uncategorized — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:52 pm

You know, World Cup. See you in a few days!

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More on Wonder Woman

Filed under: News — posted by Chris @ 11:02 am

In an astute piece for the Wall Street Journal yesterday, Austin Grossman poses the question Wonder Woman’s New Costume: Superhero Fail? He’s all in favor of a makeover, and even cheers the ditching of the stars and stripes on Independence Day, but gets to the heart of the matter here:

More importantly it’s not even a costume, just kind of an outfit. There’s a reason why superhero costumes aren’t regular clothes – they’re trying to stand for some kind of symbol or invented identity. … It’s as if the people designing her new look didn’t want to make a decision about who she is as a hero.

Agreed!

Now, what DC should have done is called Alex Ross. Ross designed future versions of the Marvel characters in Universe X and the DC characters in Kingdom Come (highly influential); he redesigned the Better Publications characters for Dynamite’s smashing Project Superpowers; and to top it off, he was the go-to guy after The Death of Captain America when Bucky Barnes took up the mantle with a new uniform (which was beautifully retro AND modern). I just got my first look at Ross’ take on The Phantom (for Dynamite’s The Last Phantom) and I was blown away. How do you bring something new to the oldest costumed hero in comics, while making sense of a purple-tights-wearing hero in the jungle? SyFy couldn’t do it. Billy Zane didn’t even try. Check this out.

Where was Ross when Diana Prince needed him? He’s such a fan, I bet he didn’t want to change a thing.

And he would be right. As a cartoonist and comics reader, people ask me what I would have done. I would have kept everything from the old costume and just replaced the starred shorts with black tights. Maybe added shoulder straps to the bustier. If they forced me to do a complete overhaul, I would have played off the Amazon roots (duh) and given her more coverage with some ancient battle armor, which has been done very successfully in many different story arcs since the Eighties.

Meanwhile… Flavorwire has put together a quick rundown of 10 superhero makeovers. This is worth a read because the failure of Spider-Man’s black costume always springs to mind first, and we tend to forget that Iron Man and Daredevil’s current costumes are actually replacements.

Eeek! I hope this new contempo-casual Wonder Woman doesn’t catch on!

UPDATE: Sonia Harris piles on DC’s epic misfire with “Jim Lee’s lack of Wonder” at Comic Book Resources. Great, detailed critique from a female pro.

As an art director, the idea of simply throwing away 70 years of strong brand recognition of this first lady of super powers is an absolute horror story.

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