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April 22, 2009

Saved from middle school hell!

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 2:35 pm

Ah, middle school. The hellish crucible of hormones, homework, and heartache. (It’s not fun like high school, where everyone’s always bursting into song.) So here’s the book I wish I’d had stashed in my locker: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook, The: Middle School (Worst Case Scenario Junior Editions) (co-written by FOBG Ben Winters). Sure coulda used it, say, at eighth-grade “prom,” when my zipper broke up with my dress shortly before my “date” broke up with me.

What about you? Any real-life middle school worst-case scenarios you care to share?


  1. One of many hellish experiences: In seventh grade, towards the beginning of the year, the class president took me aside into the locker room (I knew this would be Very Bad right then), made me promise not to cry, then told me I disgusted the entire class, and to keep out of sight — take the back stairs, don’t get to class early, or linger afterwards, or even go to lunch, and of course, don’t speak to anyone. Ever. Then she threatened me not to tell anyone. (Or else.) And it was all downhill from there until I went away to boarding school. I’m still scarred.

    Comment by Honore — April 22, 2009 @ 2:51 pm

  2. This didn’t happen to me but a gal in 7th grade named Adina used to wear her hair in two braids. She was very sweet and studios and somewhat quiet. There was another girl named Cindy. She was kind of a tough kid, fairly strong Boston accent, the kind of gal you’d get out of the way for since she might bodycheck you (or so you feared). Anyway, one day (and this is all according to a friend of mine who witnessed it), Cindy was picking on Adina, goading her, but Adina, true to form (and probably very frustratingly to Cindy) would not engage or react to the taunting. Finally Cindy accused, “Who do ya think ya aaarree? Fucking Laura Ingalls?” and then said she was going to jump Adina after school.

    Comment by Sara — April 22, 2009 @ 3:00 pm

  3. What about those wonderful new bodies we started getting in middle school? I got my first period during school, but didn’t realize that i had a huge stain on the back of my jeans. So of course, a boy noticed, and practically screamed “Did you WET your PANTS????” across the lunchroom. I spent the rest of the day with my jacket tied around my waist, mortified.

    Comment by Jenn — April 22, 2009 @ 3:22 pm

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