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April 24, 2009

Just trying to be nice

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:21 am

A “nice” kissoff from February 2, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend broke up with me because I was “too nice.” Do you think that this was the real reason, or just an excuse?

— Tu Nice

Dear Tu Nice,

Either (1) he has some sort of I’m Not Worthy issue that causes him to believe that he really only deserves to date the Linda Tripps of the world, or (2) it’s not so much an excuse as a default thing to say, a lite sugar-coating. Never mind the “too;” at least, either way, he thinks you’re nice — which, arguably, is better than thinking you’re Satan (or, worse, “terrific”). I realize neither he nor Breakup Girl has given you much to work with, but honestly, it’s not worth dwelling on. Mainly, I wanted to let guys know that WOMEN GET THE “TOO NICE” THING TOO. So there.

Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. Why is it when a woman is told she’s “too nice” it’s because the man has some self-worth issues, but when a man is told he’s being too nice it’s revolves around women not wanting caring/thoughtful men?

    So what you should have advised her, perhaps, and based upon 99% of the “advice” men get in this situation is that she’s being too clingly, or too affectionate early-on, too much in his space, etc. All the same jibber-jabber the guys get. I mean really that’s what it boils down to, only the social stigma for a “nice” girl is that she won’t put out, and for a guy being nice means being thoughtful and caring rather than pretending to act indifferent and thus “mysterious” early on.

    So many games, and you’re not really doing anything to end them. Such a shame.


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