Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

May 15, 2009

Practically married

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:03 am

Justifiable matrimony from February 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

My girlfriend and I are both interested in marriage and children, and find each other sufficiently attractive that we’re willing to consider pursuing those goals jointly. We’re both approaching 40. I’m very shy, so I’ve had only three serious relationships before. She is about equally shy, but has had a little more experience, because as a woman she hasn’t been required to take the first move in relationships.

The thing that worries me is that we share almost no common interests other than our common interest in making a family. Can such a relationship work? Are we just getting desperate, and trying to make a relationship work that really can’t?

— James

 
Dear James,

Love may not always come to us in the form of a lightning bolt or an enchanted glance across a crowded room, but Breakup Girl is also fairly convinced that it does not come in the form of a trade agreement. Your description of your relationship — “[we] find each other sufficiently attractive that we’re willing to consider [our] goals jointly” — has all the romance of the Hawley-Smoot Tariff. Now, some people do cut their losses and make “arrangements” — you know, when they decide, “All right already, this may not be an epic love story, but at this lateish date, having a family is more important. Heck, let’s get hitched.” Completely their business, and completely justifiable. (Small comfort, however, when Breakup Mom recently assured Breakup Girl that she was “not at that point yet.”) I am also talking about people in their 40s, not, like, people in their late 20s; hello, Julia Roberts.

BUT. By and large, when Arrangements get made, they get made between buddies. Between people who might not make perfect soulmates, but who do make excellent roommates. That’s why Breakup Girl is, like you, worried about this lack of common interests. It doesn’t sound like things are that much of a picnic right now; is it really a relationship that can withstand the strain and challenge of parenting (which, as Breakup Mom will tell you, go on well into your childrens’ 20s)? Even if you do stay together for the kids, so to speak, I worry that they’ll turn out to be founding members of Adult Children of Indifferent Parents.

Here’s the joint venture I think you two should consider. Shift your status to “friends” and co-found a social organization called Shy Singles in their 40s. I am not kidding. People will come out of the woodwork. Either you’ll meet someone that way, or you’ll discover a “common interest” you two never knew you had.

Love,
Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all
    is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost
    a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not
    100% certain. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Appreciate it

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — August 24, 2017 @ 12:39 pm

  2. Hey very interesting blog!

    Comment by augusto de arruda botelho — August 24, 2017 @ 2:34 pm

  3. Asking questions are really good thing if you are not understanding anything entirely, however this post gives fastidious understanding yet.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — August 25, 2017 @ 7:48 am

  4. What i don’t understood is in fact how you’re now not actually a lot more smartly-appreciated than you may be right now.

    You’re very intelligent. You understand thus considerably in relation to this matter,
    produced me personally consider it from so many varied angles.
    Its like women and men don’t seem to be fascinated until it is one thing
    to accomplish with Girl gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent.

    All the time maintain it up!

    Comment by www.globo.com — August 25, 2017 @ 7:05 pm

  5. If you would like to increase your knowledge just keep visiting this web site and be updated with the most recent gossip posted here.

    Comment by agar wanita cepat hamil — August 31, 2017 @ 1:19 pm

  6. Heya just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of
    the pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but
    I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same outcome.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — September 7, 2017 @ 8:57 pm

  7. Buy Cialis Online buy cialis online buy cialis online more

    Comment by BennyObeda — September 12, 2017 @ 4:01 pm

  8. Greetings I am so happy I found your blog, I really found you by error, while I was
    browsing on Bing for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for
    a marvelous post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I
    don’t have time to browse it all at the moment but I have saved it and
    also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to
    read a lot more, Please do keep up the great b.

    Comment by travel guide — September 17, 2017 @ 10:56 pm

  9. I read this post fully about the comparison of newest and earlier technologies,
    it’s remarkable article.

    Comment by macau tourism offers — September 20, 2017 @ 10:32 am

  10. Howdy very cool site!! Guy .. Beautiful ..
    Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds also?
    I am satisfied to search out a lot of helpful information right here within the put up, we want
    develop extra strategies on this regard, thanks for sharing.
    . . . . .

    Comment by bbs.jiaonan.net — September 27, 2017 @ 11:52 pm

  11. I think this is one of the most significant information for me.
    And i’m glad reading your article. But should remark on some general things,
    The site style is wonderful, the articles is really excellent :
    D. Good job, cheers

    Comment by timex watches — October 16, 2017 @ 4:28 am

  12. I always used to read piece of writing in news papers but now as I am a user of web thus from
    now I am using net for articles or reviews, thanks to web.

    Comment by Itamar Serp — October 22, 2017 @ 10:23 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress