Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

May 15, 2009

Practically married

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:03 am

Justifiable matrimony from February 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

My girlfriend and I are both interested in marriage and children, and find each other sufficiently attractive that we’re willing to consider pursuing those goals jointly. We’re both approaching 40. I’m very shy, so I’ve had only three serious relationships before. She is about equally shy, but has had a little more experience, because as a woman she hasn’t been required to take the first move in relationships.

The thing that worries me is that we share almost no common interests other than our common interest in making a family. Can such a relationship work? Are we just getting desperate, and trying to make a relationship work that really can’t?

— James

Dear James,

Love may not always come to us in the form of a lightning bolt or an enchanted glance across a crowded room, but Breakup Girl is also fairly convinced that it does not come in the form of a trade agreement. Your description of your relationship — “[we] find each other sufficiently attractive that we’re willing to consider [our] goals jointly” — has all the romance of the Hawley-Smoot Tariff. Now, some people do cut their losses and make “arrangements” — you know, when they decide, “All right already, this may not be an epic love story, but at this lateish date, having a family is more important. Heck, let’s get hitched.” Completely their business, and completely justifiable. (Small comfort, however, when Breakup Mom recently assured Breakup Girl that she was “not at that point yet.”) I am also talking about people in their 40s, not, like, people in their late 20s; hello, Julia Roberts.

BUT. By and large, when Arrangements get made, they get made between buddies. Between people who might not make perfect soulmates, but who do make excellent roommates. That’s why Breakup Girl is, like you, worried about this lack of common interests. It doesn’t sound like things are that much of a picnic right now; is it really a relationship that can withstand the strain and challenge of parenting (which, as Breakup Mom will tell you, go on well into your childrens’ 20s)? Even if you do stay together for the kids, so to speak, I worry that they’ll turn out to be founding members of Adult Children of Indifferent Parents.

Here’s the joint venture I think you two should consider. Shift your status to “friends” and co-found a social organization called Shy Singles in their 40s. I am not kidding. People will come out of the woodwork. Either you’ll meet someone that way, or you’ll discover a “common interest” you two never knew you had.

Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.

    I have always disliked the idea because of the costs.
    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on several websites for about a
    year and am nervous about switching to another platform.

    I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into
    it? Any help would be really appreciated!

    Comment by important items — June 4, 2017 @ 11:26 am

  2. What’s Taking place i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It positively helpful and it has
    aided me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & assist other users like
    its aided me. Great job.

    Comment by men suits — June 4, 2017 @ 5:20 pm

  3. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone
    to do it for you? Plz respond as I’m looking to
    construct my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from.


    Comment by Phillis — June 6, 2017 @ 5:48 pm

  4. Hi my friend! I want to say that this post
    is awesome, great written and include almost all
    vital infos. I’d like to see more posts like this .

    Comment by Indiana — June 10, 2017 @ 4:50 pm

  5. Very nice article, just what I was looking for.

    Comment by Isabelle — June 12, 2017 @ 8:35 pm

  6. This is my first time pay a visit at here
    and i am in fact impressed to read all at alone place.

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 14, 2017 @ 3:43 pm

  7. You should take part in a contest for one of the
    finest websites on the internet. I’m going to highly recommend this blog!

    Comment by stop chocolate cravings — June 15, 2017 @ 5:46 pm

  8. Hi i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anywhere, when i read this paragraph
    i thought i could also make comment due to this brilliant article.

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 16, 2017 @ 2:21 am

  9. I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your blog.
    It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for
    me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to
    create your theme? Superb work!

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 16, 2017 @ 7:25 am

  10. Right away I am ready to do my breakfast, once having my
    breakfast coming yet again to read additional news.

    Comment by miami dui lawyer — June 17, 2017 @ 4:49 am

  11. Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using?
    Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

    Comment by christian music group — June 17, 2017 @ 6:01 pm

  12. Hi there would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re
    working with? I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a tough time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.

    The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different
    then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S Sorry for being off-topic
    but I had to ask!

    Comment by computer protection professionals — June 18, 2017 @ 4:27 am

  13. This info is worth everyone’s attention. Where can I find
    out more?

    Comment by car hydrogen — June 18, 2017 @ 10:14 am

  14. If some one desires to be updated with most up-to-date technologies then he must be pay a quick visit this site and
    be up to date everyday.

    Comment by vehicle diagnostics — June 19, 2017 @ 12:19 am

  15. Hi, yes this piece of writing is actually nice and I have learned lot of
    things from it on the topic of blogging. thanks.

    Comment by best hair — June 19, 2017 @ 12:41 am

  16. magnificent submit, very informative. I wonder why the opposite experts of this
    sector do not understand this. You must continue your writing.
    I’m sure, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

    Comment by Melba — June 21, 2017 @ 10:48 pm

  17. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I
    thought this post was great. I do not know who you are
    but definitely you’re going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

    Comment by Carrol — June 23, 2017 @ 1:03 am

  18. Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured
    I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa?
    My site addresses a lot of the same topics as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you happen to be interested feel free to send me an email.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Terrific blog by the way!

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 23, 2017 @ 10:49 pm

  19. Hey there, You have done a fantastic job. I will certainly digg it and personally recommend
    to my friends. I am sure they’ll be benefited from this site.

    Comment by custom label printing — June 24, 2017 @ 11:25 pm

  20. These are truly enormous ideas in on the topic of blogging.
    You have touched some pleasant factors here.
    Any way keep up wrinting.

    Comment by Zelda — June 25, 2017 @ 10:01 am

  21. Why visitors still make use of to read news papers when in this technological
    world everything is existing on net?

    Comment by buying labels — June 25, 2017 @ 11:03 pm

  22. Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is
    wonderful, let alone the content!

    Comment by http://www.step1method.com/groups/buying-physical-fitness-equipments-with-your-recommendations/ — June 26, 2017 @ 11:41 am

  23. Have you ever considered creating an ebook or guest authoring
    on other blogs? I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss and would love to have
    you share some stories/information. I know my readers would value your
    work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e

    Comment by Neil — June 29, 2017 @ 2:16 am

  24. It’s very straightforward to find out any matter on net as
    compared to books, as I found this paragraph at this web page.

    Comment by Juana — June 29, 2017 @ 12:04 pm

  25. Hello would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using?
    I’m going to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having
    a difficult time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and
    I’m looking for something completely unique.
    P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

    Comment by security management systems — June 29, 2017 @ 6:38 pm

  26. It’s really a cool and useful piece of information. I’m
    satisfied that you simply shared this useful information with
    us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

    Comment by Ariane Slinger — July 7, 2017 @ 7:52 pm

  27. I think this is among the most important information for me.
    And i am glad reading your article. But wanna remark on few general things, The web site style is perfect, the
    articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers

    Comment by yogatute.com — July 11, 2017 @ 4:14 am

  28. Hello this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use
    WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.
    I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding skills so I wanted to get
    advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

    Comment by http://bga-lcaqd.cloudaccess.net/component/easyblog/blogger/listings/tiagoodin149924.html?Itemid=651 — July 16, 2017 @ 12:00 am

  29. Hello exceptional blog! Does running a blog similar to this require a large amount of work?
    I’ve no knowledge of programming but I was hoping
    to start my own blog soon. Anyways, if you have any ideas or tips for new blog owners please share.
    I know this is off subject nevertheless I just wanted to ask.

    Comment by Lettie — July 16, 2017 @ 1:14 am

  30. We stumbled over here coming from a different web page and thought I may as well check things
    out. I like what I see so i am just following you.
    Look forward to looking at your web page again.

    Comment by Samantha — July 16, 2017 @ 8:23 am

  31. Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the
    net the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about.

    You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal.

    Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

    Comment by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6IC7ULyEgc — July 18, 2017 @ 2:27 am

  32. Hey very nice blog!

    Comment by http://foxexpert.com/demo_socialtime/index.php?do=/profile-63265/info — July 18, 2017 @ 3:29 am

  33. I have read so many content concerning the blogger lovers but this post is genuinely a pleasant post,
    keep it up.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — July 19, 2017 @ 7:58 pm

  34. Thanks for a marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you can be a great
    author. I will remember to bookmark your blog and definitely will come
    back sometime soon. I want to encourage you to continue your great job,
    have a nice day!

    Comment by Leonida — July 22, 2017 @ 12:37 pm

  35. I am not sure where you are getting your info, but great
    topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more.
    Thanks for excellent information I was looking for this info for my mission.

    Comment by Luiz Fernando Monteiro Bittencourt — July 22, 2017 @ 12:44 pm

  36. I used to be able to find good info from your content.

    Comment by josewilamearaujorodrigues.jusbrasil.com.br — July 22, 2017 @ 9:00 pm

  37. Excellent website you have here but I was wondering if
    you knew of any community forums that cover the same topics discussed in this
    article? I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get responses from other experienced people that share the same interest.
    If you have any recommendations, please let me know.
    Appreciate it!

    Comment by Mauro Luiz Soares Zamprogno — July 24, 2017 @ 1:55 am

  38. I wanted to thank you for this wonderful read!! I absolutely loved every bit of it.

    I have got you bookmarked to look at new stuff you post…

    Comment by Frederico de Almeida Vieira Carneiro — July 24, 2017 @ 4:49 am

  39. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for
    the long run and it is time to be happy. I have learn this publish and if I may I
    want to suggest you few fascinating issues or tips. Perhaps you can write next articles relating to this article.
    I want to learn even more things about it!

    Comment by Georges Sadala — July 25, 2017 @ 8:57 am

  40. Hello there! This is my first visit to your blog!
    We are a collection of volunteers and starting a
    new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a wonderful job!

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — July 25, 2017 @ 11:49 am

  41. Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d
    like to shoot you an email. I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing.

    Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.

    Comment by Sabina — July 25, 2017 @ 11:16 pm

  42. Yes! Finally something about social news.

    Comment by wiki-azlk.ru — July 25, 2017 @ 11:48 pm

  43. We are a bunch of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.
    Your web site offered us with valuable information to work on. You have performed a formidable activity and our
    whole group can be grateful to you.

    Comment by www.youtube.com — July 26, 2017 @ 12:42 am

  44. Good site you’ve got here.. It’s hard to find excellent writing like yours nowadays.
    I really appreciate people like you! Take care!!

    Comment by http://www.feedspot.com/u/a482b2d172ec — August 2, 2017 @ 10:28 pm

  45. Hi to every one, as I am actually eager of reading this web site’s post to be updated on a regular
    basis. It carries nice data.

    Comment by Arron — August 5, 2017 @ 4:32 pm

  46. A motivating discussion is worth comment. I believe that you ought to publish more about
    this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but typically folks don’t talk about these topics.
    To the next! Cheers!!

    Comment by http://www.kirolan.ru/bitrix/rk.php?goto=http://ambox.ru/bitrix/rk.php?goto=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWRTdJrnJgw — August 7, 2017 @ 3:46 am

  47. Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed
    reading it, you may be a great author. I will be sure
    to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back in the foreseeable future.

    I want to encourage continue your great work, have a nice day!

    Comment by Shirleen — August 7, 2017 @ 6:35 pm

  48. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article author for
    your blog. You have some really good posts and I believe I would be
    a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d really like to write some material for your blog
    in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an e-mail if interested.


    Comment by James Frazer Mann — August 17, 2017 @ 5:56 am

  49. Hey this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually
    code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get
    advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

    Comment by James Frazer Mann — August 18, 2017 @ 8:23 pm

  50. Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay.
    I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.

    Comment by Luiz Gastao Bittencourt da Silva — August 23, 2017 @ 6:44 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress