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May 29, 2009

Three months is a magic number

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:06 am

Taking stock on February 16, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I can seem to meet men only in the fall or winter of each year and they never, ever last past three months (into the New Year). This has happened to me with almost all of my potential relationships — the ones that I thought would last. I try to find men in the spring, but my aura must be in hibernation. Is having this three-month limitation normal and what can I do to curb it?

— Clueless

Dear Clueless,

I’m thinking that sometime maybe in early February, your relationship sees its shadow and thus decides it’s gonna last — for only about six more weeks. Other than that, I can’t really account for the particular seasonal patterns in your relationship almanac, but I will say that three months does seem to be the normal human relationship gestation period. For some reason, that’s as long as it generally takes to get to know someone well enough to decide that that’s, well, enough. If you need proof that it’s not just you, let’s just say you wouldn’t believe how many letters I get that start off just like the next few do.

So there’s really nothing for you to “do” to “curb” your tendency. It’s more about the mysterious internal rhythm of relationships than it is about your, um, “aura.” But listen, Clueless, spring is almost here. Don’t let this hibernation thing become a self-fulfilling forecast.

Breakup Girl


  1. I think the Self-fulfilling prophecy is correct. It might be all in the head.

    Comment by Bill — May 30, 2009 @ 11:56 pm

  2. BS low – rationliaty high! Really good answer!

    Comment by Kris — October 19, 2012 @ 5:09 pm

  3. The magic of making up scam?after brinkeag up with my ex I started wondering about getting back together. I searched the internet and found a lot of techniques lol. There are several books like the one in the title. Have you ever heard of anything like this?

    Comment by Mna — November 13, 2014 @ 11:43 am

  4. she wants to be single..why is she lnikig some other guys and also i’m like the only guy that she ever gone out with that actually lasted more than a month..we lasted almost a year and 7 months..i loved her through thick and thin..she hurt me alot in the past..like flirting with other guys.. and stuff but i still love her..when ever i try to get her back now she just tells me that we’re over ..i just cant accept the fact that i will never be with her again because shes the only girl that i fell hardest for and we been through so much..and im so surprised that after all that shes still not taking me back..i have done nothing wrong i never flirted or barely talk to any other girl besides her i’ve stayed true and kept all my promises i made to her such as no cheating and staying with her no matter what and such .the main question is i really want her back and i want her to love me again what can i do? sorry that my detail is all over the place oh and also im 17 year of age and shes almost 17 too in december..if its neccessary please dont say we too young to really love because its not true ..im very much in love with her

    Comment by Kcr — February 18, 2015 @ 11:01 pm

  5. How to accept the suattiion that your ex has moved on but still I have a feelings for my ex? I got a 4 years relationship and no matter how much I tried to forget my ex, I really can’t. Its too hard expecially when I came to know that he has moved on and has a girlfriend that is better than me. I have been experiencing this bad heavy feeling that still I can’t get over him. Especially when I came to know that he still loves me, now, I want to win him back again. Its just too hard because his girlfriend now seems not to let go of him, what must I do, i can’t stop thinking of him. I have too much pimples now because of thinking much on him.

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