Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

August 17, 2009

Daily Double Standard: I have a past

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:14 am

Too much information on February 23, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I was in a relationship for almost a year and it finally ended last week. It has had ups and downs, breakups and reunions so many times that I cannot remember the numbers. I love him very much, but he cannot live with my past (which really isn’t shady at all!). When he was asking me some very personal and unnecessary questions, I lied to him for fear of losing him. The truth came out. For five months, we have been trying to work through this, him accepting my past (three other men) and the fact that I lied to him; I’ve been trying to move on from his insults. Last week, he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about my “mistakes” and he wanted to see other people. I should be happy to be free from the arguments, but I’m not. I love and only want to be with him. I go to a very small school, so his presence and any girl he takes home are always near. I don’t want to sit in or go out anymore on weekends. How can I go out and deal with the fact he’s with other girls, ones who are in the place where I want to be? Breakup Girl, I obviously can’t change the past, but my future seems in peril! I wish he would accept the past and that I love him. Instead, he’s thrown me away like yesterday’s garbage! HELP!

— Discarded and Depressed

Dear Discarded,

Breakup Girl is seeing red, and you can bet it ain’t due to an excess of Valentines here in her “advice nook.”

Your “past,” whether it contains zero men or the NBA, is not your boyfriend’s to “accept” or reject.

He has the chutzpah to call your experiences “mistakes?” I don’t care if they were cringeworthy flings or epic romances, or a little of both; that’s beside the point. Look, this whole thing is a heady mix of
(a) an unacceptable female-virtue flashback to the Dark Ages: What, he expected you to save yourself for him before you knew he existed? What, he dumps you because you’d seen people so that he can see other people?
(b) a lame, cruel, easy-out excuse he’s using to break up, and
(c) a serious ego shortage … for all parties involved.

For your ex-boyfriend’s part, well, as Colin McEnroe (i.e., a guy) writes in this month’s Mademoiselle, “When guys have to deal with their girlfriends’ sexual pasts, they may act angry and judgmental, but they in fact feel scared and small, as though you’ve had experiences beyond anything they can offer.” And as for you, my pretty, your first warning sign — about your relationship and about your security in it — should have been the fact that you felt the need to lie about your “past.”

Geez, you know, I can’t believe anyone’s calling “three other men” a “past.” People on Knot’s Landing have “pasts.” You have a life. Now get on with it.

Breakup Girl

P.S. One more thing: no one should willfully misrepresent their pasts, but no one should feel the need to either. Hey, people: don’t create some false gold standard of full disclosure and ask each other more than you really want to know. The answer will likely be: more than you really wanted to know.

1 Comment »

  1. Man Last Longer [url=http://onlinecial.com]cialis[/url] Propecia Overuse

    Comment by Chaspouche — July 8, 2017 @ 2:38 pm

  2. Buy Zoloft viagra Cialis Fast Delivery In 3 Days

    Comment by KennNubs — July 8, 2017 @ 2:56 pm

  3. Viagra Vs Cialis cialis online Store Brand Propecia

    Comment by KelGuibrise — July 12, 2017 @ 12:54 am

  4. Dosage Amount For Amoxicillin For Uti buy cialis Side Effects To Amoxicillin In Babys

    Comment by Chaspouche — July 14, 2017 @ 12:06 am

  5. Generics4u cialis Viagra Online

    Comment by KennNubs — July 14, 2017 @ 3:50 am

  6. Hi, I would like to subscribe for this website to obtain most recent updates, therefore where
    can i do it please help out.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — July 14, 2017 @ 8:15 pm

  7. Hi to every body, it’s my first visit of this webpage; this
    website includes amazing and genuinely good data for readers.

    Comment by ead.letras.ufg.br — July 18, 2017 @ 9:45 pm

  8. Cialis Ou Viagra Lequel Choisir cialis Cialis De 5

    Comment by KennNubs — July 19, 2017 @ 12:01 pm

  9. Hello! I know this is kinda off topic but
    I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe
    guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa?
    My blog discusses a lot of the same topics as yours and I think
    we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to shoot me
    an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you!
    Terrific blog by the way!

    Comment by Penney — July 22, 2017 @ 7:17 pm

  10. Ahaa, its pleasant dialogue on the topic of this article here at this
    website, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

    Comment by Umanizzare — July 23, 2017 @ 10:13 pm

  11. Spot on with this write-up, I really think this site needs much
    more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read through more, thanks for the advice!

    Comment by Georges Sadala — July 25, 2017 @ 9:51 am

  12. It’s actually very difficult in this busy life to listen news on TV, therefore I only use the web for that reason, and get
    the hottest information.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — July 27, 2017 @ 1:14 am

  13. Wow, superb weblog layout! How lengthy have you been blogging for?
    you made running a blog look easy. The total look of your web site is excellent, as neatly as the content!

    Comment by Glam Seamless — July 27, 2017 @ 4:03 am

  14. Piece of writing writing is also a fun, if you be acquainted with afterward you
    can write if not it is difficult to write.

    Comment by Nikole — August 14, 2017 @ 2:46 pm

  15. Hi, this weekend is nice for me, as this occasion i am
    reading this fantastic educational piece of writing here at my home.

    Comment by https://www.youtube.com/ — August 18, 2017 @ 7:33 pm

  16. Nice weblog here! Also your site loads up fast! What web host are you the use
    of? Can I am getting your affiliate hyperlink for your
    host? I desire my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Comment by augusto de arruda botelho — August 23, 2017 @ 10:53 pm

  17. Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long
    as I provide credit and sources back to your weblog?

    My website is in the very same area of interest as
    yours and my visitors would truly benefit from a lot of the information you provide
    here. Please let me know if this okay with you.


    Comment by jamu cepat hamil — August 25, 2017 @ 2:43 am

  18. Just desire to say your article is as astounding.
    The clarity in your post is just great and i could assume you are an expert on this subject.
    Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post.
    Thanks a million and please keep up the enjoyable work.

    Comment by Quinn — August 26, 2017 @ 8:15 am

  19. Hi there to all, how is all, I think every one is getting more from this web page, and your views are pleasant in favor of new viewers.

    Comment by — August 30, 2017 @ 7:58 pm

  20. Hi there! This blog post couldn’t be written much better!
    Looking at this article reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He constantly kept talking about this. I most certainly will send this information to
    him. Fairly certain he will have a very good read.

    I appreciate you for sharing!

    Comment by www.vector-marketing.com — September 1, 2017 @ 1:47 am

  21. I need to to thank you for this excellent read!!
    I certainly loved every little bit of it. I’ve got you book-marked to look at new stuff you post…

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — September 3, 2017 @ 1:22 am

  22. Quality posts is the secret to attract the users to pay
    a visit the site, that’s what this website is providing.

    Comment by start up business loans — September 5, 2017 @ 2:03 am

  23. Generic Flagyl In Kansas City On Line Meds best price on levitra Amoxicillin Causes Diarrhea Malegra Dxt Plus Uso Del Viagra En Jovenes

    Comment by LarAnanunda — October 26, 2017 @ 2:44 am

  24. Propecia Risks Priligy Andorra Precio Buy Tretinoin Cream 0.025 generic viagra Myco Rat Amoxicillin Cialis Tablets For Sale Algodones

    Comment by LarAnanunda — October 30, 2017 @ 11:32 am

  25. online homework solutions homework help slader writing my essay for me writing my paper

    Comment by English Essay Writer — December 24, 2017 @ 7:55 pm

  26. paper writing argumentative essays argumentative essay website writes essays for you

    Comment by Freedom Writer Essay — December 25, 2017 @ 10:58 am

  27. compare car insurance quotes cheapest auto insurance quotes comparison compare car insurance e insurance auto

    Comment by auto insurances — December 27, 2017 @ 8:28 pm

  28. online loans direct payday lenders bad credit online loans loan

    Comment by Online Lenders — January 9, 2018 @ 7:17 pm

  29. writing my essay for me essay writing service brainfuse live homework help do my excel project

    Comment by Ace Homework — January 10, 2018 @ 6:20 pm

  30. personal loan bad credit bad credit personal loans personal loans personal loans

    Comment by Payday Loan — January 23, 2018 @ 1:54 am

  31. argumentative essay writing an argumentative essay an argumentative essay argumentative essay

    Comment by Homeworks Of America — January 23, 2018 @ 5:13 am

  32. Z38y5570k can drink alcohol with azithromycin jual cialis 20mg order azithromycinbuy cialis online azithromycin preventing pregnancy why cialis cost
    E44y9740b azithromycin formula weight drug interaction between warfarin doxycycline buy zithromaxorder doxycycline flagyl vs azithromycin doxycycline psoriatic arthritis

    Comment by ASmarmandire — April 15, 2018 @ 2:27 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress