Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

August 17, 2009

Daily Double Standard: I have a past

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:14 am

Too much information on February 23, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I was in a relationship for almost a year and it finally ended last week. It has had ups and downs, breakups and reunions so many times that I cannot remember the numbers. I love him very much, but he cannot live with my past (which really isn’t shady at all!). When he was asking me some very personal and unnecessary questions, I lied to him for fear of losing him. The truth came out. For five months, we have been trying to work through this, him accepting my past (three other men) and the fact that I lied to him; I’ve been trying to move on from his insults. Last week, he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about my “mistakes” and he wanted to see other people. I should be happy to be free from the arguments, but I’m not. I love and only want to be with him. I go to a very small school, so his presence and any girl he takes home are always near. I don’t want to sit in or go out anymore on weekends. How can I go out and deal with the fact he’s with other girls, ones who are in the place where I want to be? Breakup Girl, I obviously can’t change the past, but my future seems in peril! I wish he would accept the past and that I love him. Instead, he’s thrown me away like yesterday’s garbage! HELP!

— Discarded and Depressed


Dear Discarded,

Breakup Girl is seeing red, and you can bet it ain’t due to an excess of Valentines here in her “advice nook.”

Your “past,” whether it contains zero men or the NBA, is not your boyfriend’s to “accept” or reject.

He has the chutzpah to call your experiences “mistakes?” I don’t care if they were cringeworthy flings or epic romances, or a little of both; that’s beside the point. Look, this whole thing is a heady mix of
(a) an unacceptable female-virtue flashback to the Dark Ages: What, he expected you to save yourself for him before you knew he existed? What, he dumps you because you’d seen people so that he can see other people?
(b) a lame, cruel, easy-out excuse he’s using to break up, and
(c) a serious ego shortage … for all parties involved.

For your ex-boyfriend’s part, well, as Colin McEnroe (i.e., a guy) writes in this month’s Mademoiselle, “When guys have to deal with their girlfriends’ sexual pasts, they may act angry and judgmental, but they in fact feel scared and small, as though you’ve had experiences beyond anything they can offer.” And as for you, my pretty, your first warning sign — about your relationship and about your security in it — should have been the fact that you felt the need to lie about your “past.”

Geez, you know, I can’t believe anyone’s calling “three other men” a “past.” People on Knot’s Landing have “pasts.” You have a life. Now get on with it.

Love,
Breakup Girl

P.S. One more thing: no one should willfully misrepresent their pasts, but no one should feel the need to either. Hey, people: don’t create some false gold standard of full disclosure and ask each other more than you really want to know. The answer will likely be: more than you really wanted to know.

1 Comment »

  1. This is a topic that’s close to my heart… Many thanks!
    Exactly where are your contact details though?

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — May 25, 2017 @ 8:56 am

  2. Whoa! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!

    Comment by cruise ship vacancies — May 25, 2017 @ 1:52 pm

  3. We absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for.
    can you offer guest writers to write content in your case?
    I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on a
    lot of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome weblog!

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 25, 2017 @ 8:46 pm

  4. Hey! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering if you
    knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment
    form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having
    problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

    Comment by van hire online — May 26, 2017 @ 5:50 pm

  5. I know this web site gives quality dependent content and other
    data, is there any other site which provides these information in quality?

    Comment by Elouise — May 28, 2017 @ 5:22 pm

  6. We stumbled over here coming from a different website and
    thought I might check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you.
    Look forward to looking at your web page yet again.

    Comment by home security — May 28, 2017 @ 10:28 pm

  7. Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you make blogging look easy. The overall
    look of your site is fantastic, let alone the content!

    Comment by glam seamless review — May 29, 2017 @ 5:58 am

  8. I constantly emailed this webpage post page to all my friends, since if like to
    read it afterward my friends will too.

    Comment by Angelika — May 29, 2017 @ 6:55 am

  9. Awesome blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost
    on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like
    Wordpress or go for a paid option? There are so many options
    out there that I’m completely overwhelmed .. Any recommendations?
    Kudos!

    Comment by http://www.servergroup.com.ar — May 29, 2017 @ 2:46 pm

  10. certainly like your web-site but you need to check the spelling on several of
    your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it
    very bothersome to inform the truth on the other hand I will certainly
    come again again.

    Comment by android car pc — June 3, 2017 @ 12:40 am

  11. I delight in, result in I found exactly what I used to be taking a look
    for. You’ve ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day.
    Bye

    Comment by banks offer — June 3, 2017 @ 1:00 pm

  12. Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board
    and I find It really useful & it helped me out
    a lot. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.

    Comment by family court judge — June 3, 2017 @ 6:56 pm

  13. I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether
    this post is written by him as no one else know
    such detailed about my trouble. You’re wonderful! Thanks!

    Comment by weight fabric whereas — June 4, 2017 @ 2:25 am

  14. Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you make blogging look easy. The overall look of
    your site is magnificent, as well as the content!

    Comment by business executives — June 4, 2017 @ 5:51 am

  15. I am sure this post has touched all the internet people, its really really good
    article on building up new web site.

    Comment by debit card — June 4, 2017 @ 5:58 am

  16. Undeniably believe that that you stated.
    Your favorite reason seemed to be at the net the simplest thing to remember of.
    I say to you, I certainly get irked at the same time as
    folks consider worries that they just don’t know about. You
    controlled to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing
    with no need side-effects , people could take a signal.
    Will probably be again to get more. Thank you

    Comment by budgeting money — June 4, 2017 @ 11:30 am

  17. Pretty component of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to say that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I fulfillment you
    get admission to constantly rapidly.

    Comment by best broadband deal — June 4, 2017 @ 11:34 am

  18. Good day very cool website!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing
    .. I’ll bookmark your web site and take the feeds additionally?

    I am satisfied to find so many helpful info here within the post, we’d like
    develop extra strategies on this regard, thanks for sharing.
    . . . . .

    Comment by wearing custom — June 4, 2017 @ 4:44 pm

  19. Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your
    site is fantastic, as well as the content!

    Comment by Zandra — June 4, 2017 @ 4:44 pm

  20. wh0cd740655 [url=http://tadacip.us.org/]tadacip[/url] [url=http://diflucanpill.us.com/]diflucan pill[/url] [url=http://cialisprice247.us.org/]Cialis Price[/url]

    Comment by Michaelclome — June 5, 2017 @ 2:23 pm

  21. I’m gone to tell my little brother, that he should also go to see
    this blog on regular basis to obtain updated from
    newest gossip.

    Comment by audcom.net — June 6, 2017 @ 6:03 pm

  22. Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and
    I’m impressed! Very helpful information specifically the last part
    :) I care for such info a lot. I was looking for this particular info for a very long time.
    Thank you and good luck.

    Comment by Clarita — June 8, 2017 @ 7:43 am

  23. Hello my loved one! I wish to say that this post is awesome, great
    written and come with approximately all important infos.
    I would like to peer extra posts like this .

    Comment by Myron — June 8, 2017 @ 7:31 pm

  24. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with some pics to drive the
    message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is fantastic blog.

    A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.

    Comment by pt.wikipedia.org — June 10, 2017 @ 2:07 am

  25. Paragraph writing is also a excitement, if you be familiar with then you
    can write or else it is difficult to write.

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 13, 2017 @ 6:42 am

  26. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well
    written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thanks
    for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.

    Comment by specialist offering diagnostics — June 14, 2017 @ 7:09 am

  27. Excellent blog! Do you have any recommendations
    for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a
    paid option? There are so many options out
    there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any
    ideas? Bless you!

    Comment by android car pc — June 14, 2017 @ 1:48 pm

  28. It’s not my first time to pay a visit this site, i am browsing this website dailly and obtain good information from
    here every day.

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 15, 2017 @ 12:55 am

  29. Its not my first time to go to see this site, i am
    browsing this site dailly and take nice data from here everyday.

    Comment by hair looks — June 15, 2017 @ 2:12 pm

  30. I believe everything published made a bunch of sense.
    But, think about this, suppose you were to
    create a killer headline? I mean, I don’t want to tell you how to
    run your blog, however what if you added a headline to maybe grab a person’s attention? I mean Breakup Girl
    » Daily Double Standard: I have a past is kinda boring.
    You ought to look at Yahoo’s home page and note how they create post
    headlines to grab people to click. You might try adding
    a video or a related picture or two to grab people interested about everything’ve got
    to say. Just my opinion, it would bring your posts a little bit more interesting.

    Comment by music store — June 15, 2017 @ 7:40 pm

  31. whoah this weblog is excellent i love studying your articles.

    Keep up the good work! You realize, many people are looking round for
    this info, you could aid them greatly.

    Comment by legal research team — June 16, 2017 @ 4:51 pm

  32. This is very interesting, You’re an excessively
    skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and stay
    up for in search of extra of your great post. Additionally, I’ve shared your site in my social
    networks

    Comment by video formats — June 17, 2017 @ 5:39 pm

  33. magnificent publish, very informative. I ponder why the other experts of this sector don’t realize
    this. You must continue your writing. I am sure, you’ve a huge readers’ base already!

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 18, 2017 @ 7:28 am

  34. Attractive component of content. I simply stumbled upon your weblog
    and in accession capital to claim that I get actually enjoyed account your weblog posts.
    Any way I’ll be subscribing in your augment or even I achievement you access constantly quickly.

    Comment by jessica simpson shoes — June 18, 2017 @ 6:36 pm

  35. Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the net the easiest thing
    to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about
    worries that they plainly don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side effect
    , people could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more.
    Thanks

    Comment by pujcovna.lunix.cz — June 19, 2017 @ 8:24 pm

  36. What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable experience regarding
    unpredicted feelings.

    Comment by windows car pc — June 21, 2017 @ 7:12 pm

  37. Do you have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; we have developed some nice practices and we are looking to exchange solutions with others,
    be sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.

    Comment by http://www.vector-marketing.com — June 23, 2017 @ 11:00 pm

  38. Definitely imagine that that you said. Your favourite reason seemed to be
    on the net the simplest thing to take into accout of. I say to you, I certainly get irked even as other folks think about
    issues that they plainly don’t recognize about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the highest and defined out the entire thing with no need side-effects , people can take a signal.
    Will probably be again to get more. Thank you

    Comment by Esteban — June 24, 2017 @ 10:24 pm

  39. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought
    this post was great. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous
    blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

    Comment by label printing templates — June 24, 2017 @ 11:38 pm

  40. I read this article completely concerning the resemblance
    of newest and earlier technologies, it’s awesome article.

    Comment by superstartube.com — June 25, 2017 @ 5:12 am

  41. Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an e-mail.
    I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.

    Comment by Una — June 25, 2017 @ 6:58 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress