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September 30, 2009

Do women like their men poached?

Filed under: Psychology — posted by Breakup Girl @ 2:20 pm

A new study seems to say so. It suggests, even, that women are not only more attracted to taken men — call it the “stamp of approval” factor — but also actually willing to pursue them.

“The next question is why,” says researcher Melissa Burkley. In further research, she plans to explore women’s motives even more. One possibility, she speculates: competition; the [alleged, or at least pretty illusory — BG] satisfaction — and self-esteem — derived from mate-stealing.

BG is perhaps naively surprised by these findings. After all, poaching is, of course, verboten. But now I’m curious. Have you [ladies] ever poached? If so, why? Any aftermath?


  1. I am currently overcoming the pain frombeing informed my boyfriend of 7 years has started a relationship with another woman nine months ago.He still talks to me on the phone, but never takes me out, I love this man dearly,but looks like I am not #1 anymore.

    Comment by Cece — October 2, 2009 @ 1:15 pm

  2. I hate to admit to this, but I poached my current and long-time love. It was a terrible situation and I lost a couple of friends because of it… BUT when girls get all up in arms about the whole “poaching” idea, you do have to remember that it takes two to tango. It isn’t as if I ran in, tossed him over my shoulder, and ran back out. His relationship was on the skids but he just wasn’t really doing anything about it. It wasn’t until we started to become real friends (I swear, it was innocent) and his girlfriend made a big scene and walked out on him one morning in a sort of “it’s me or her” scenario that he realized how important I was to him…. in a more intimate way. He called me (crying) and said, “I don’t want to lose you!”. Sadly, the (now) ex wasn’t expecting him to make that decision. To make things worse, her sister was my good friend and roommate so the whole situation just exploded. Of course I lost my friend and had to move out within minutes of the phone call one Sunday morning. There was some ex-girlfriend drama, but she got shacked up and preggers within three months. The lasting fallout though, is my resulting insecurity. And his. We saw first hand what an innocent friendship between a man and a woman can herald, so I lost a second friend (male) because we agreed that, for us, opposite sex friends are a no-no. Of course, that friend was also an ex of mine, so I suppose that muddied the waters for my current squeeze quite a bit. To some people that seems drastic and I’ve heard plenty of lectures about not giving up anything for any man, but in the end I am very happy. We’ve been together for five years, are absolute best friends, and I can’t imagine my life without my beloved poachee.

    Comment by Bianca — October 6, 2009 @ 1:57 pm

  3. There’s this girl who i know is in love with my boyfriend. She so stubborn too! (sigh) she’s really annoying…

    Comment by Alex — October 24, 2009 @ 5:52 am

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