An eternal question from December 16, 1997…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I recently moved out of my boyfriend’s apartment after ending our four year relationship. I’ve met someone else in the past month and I like him, but don’t need any type of commitment from him; we haven’t discussed it at all.
Do I have to resign myself to the fact that he is “trans-man” (transition man)? Or could it be real?
— Dazed & Confused
The Center for Science in the Public Interest recently reported that so-called “trans-fats” (often found in margarine) are more likely than certain other fats to contribute to clogging of the arteries. Similarly, “trans-men” have also been linked to heart problems, not to mention clogging of the brain.
Meaning what? Just that anyone in your situation — that “in-between stage” — is profoundly perspective-impaired. I’m not saying Rebound Boys are fully Bad; it’s just that it’s hard to relate to or evaluate them on their own terms, as anything other than “Not that Other Guy.” More importantly, running right out with Boyfriend Lite may soothe your pain (aren’t you supposed to spread margarine on burns?) — but it may also retard the true healing process.
So without the opportunity to review full personality profiles on both gentlemen, I can’t tell you if TM is for real or not. My question for you is: what do you think? You say on one hand that you don’t “need” commitment from him…but then you wonder if you have to “resign” yourself to go without. Do you want this guy for real, or are you just looking for great taste, less filling? In the latter case, skip the Parkay and go solo until — oh, Breakup Girl can’t resist! — someone butter comes along.