Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

November 13, 2009

A test of the relationship

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:21 am

Better safe than sorry on March 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend and I discussed getting free and anonymous HIV tests together. He agreed that it would be a good idea. We always practice safe sex. However, we broke up during Christmas and I made the mistake of sleeping with someone else unprotected. I haven’t told anyone else about this other guy because I am so ashamed. I haven’t even told my best friend. I feel scared.

Now, my boyfriend has decided that he doesn’t want to get tested together. I don’t even know if he wants to get tested at all. He consistently avoids or changes the subject every time I bring it up. What should I do? It is always on my mind. I am scared to go alone (partly because I hate needles). Please help!

— Alone and Needle Phobic

Dear Alone,

Okay, look. In this day and age, as unromantic as it may seem, getting tested is Just What You Do. No excuses. It’s not, like, some nuanced thing you even need to decide about together, like “Oooh, should we go buy the same rock climbing shoes?” You just do it. Together, separately, whatever, you just do it. I’ll spare you the sex ed speech, but you also just do it even if you haven’t Done It. Okay?

Um, Breakup Mom, you can skip the next paragraph. I promise there are no typos.

Okay. In an effort to reduce the stigma/fear/etc. surrounding this whole thing, I will say right here and now that even superheros are not “safe.” Breakup Girl gets tested regularly — even when, God knows, there’s no “reason” to — just because. First of all, it reduces the drama. Second of all, it’s a card she can play if ever, mirabile dictu,the situation arises (“Well, I was tested three months ago and I’m fine. What about you?”).

It can — and should — be just that matter-of-fact. If and when wrinkles arise — as they have in your case — something else is going on. First of all, trite yet true: if your boyfriend cares about you, he’ll stop futzing around and roll up his damn sleeve. This is not some “How come you don’t bring me daises any more?” girly whining situation. This is an issue big enough (as in, of life and death) to press him on — and, dare I say, lose him over.

And as for you, are you scared of needles — or are you scared of answers? First, about the needles. Come on, who likes them? BG’s trick is to just not look. Turn your head; close your eyes. Don’t look at them preparing the needle; definitely don’t look at them doing the mosquito on your arm. This really makes a difference, and it honestly doesn’t hurt that much.

About the “answers.” Look, there’s no point in beating yourself up any more. At this point, what’s really driving you nuts are all these pent-up secrets and unfinished matters of business. Tell your best friend; have her come along. She will. Just do it. I promise you’ll feel better.

Love,
Breakup Girl

3 Comments »

  1. Hi Dear, are you in fact visiting this website regularly, if so then you will absolutely take good knowledge.

    Comment by http://xe.bayver.net/ — July 15, 2017 @ 9:28 pm

  2. Thanks very interesting blog!

    Comment by Aidan — July 15, 2017 @ 11:01 pm

  3. Hi there, I would like to subscribe for this weblog to obtain hottest updates, so where can i do it
    please help out.

    Comment by Kia — July 15, 2017 @ 11:31 pm

  4. Thanks for a marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it, you could
    be a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will come back later on. I want to encourage yourself
    to continue your great posts, have a nice weekend!

    Comment by Lan — July 16, 2017 @ 11:04 am

  5. This is a great tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere.

    Brief but very accurate info… Many thanks for sharing this
    one. A must read article!

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — July 16, 2017 @ 11:50 am

  6. It’s very trouble-free to find out any topic on web as compared to books, as I found this piece
    of writing at this web page.

    Comment by тв-юждаг.xn--p1ai — July 16, 2017 @ 1:33 pm

  7. If you desire to get much from this paragraph then you have to apply
    these techniques to your won website.

    Comment by coonster.com — July 18, 2017 @ 12:57 pm

  8. Nice blog here! Also your site loads up very fast!
    What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Comment by gamingmax.net — July 19, 2017 @ 7:23 am

  9. Acquisto Cialis Tadalafil Groups online pharmacy Propecia Usa Merck

    Comment by Chaspouche — July 21, 2017 @ 2:54 am

  10. Hi there, I discovered your blog by the use of Google while
    looking for a comparable matter, your website got here up, it looks good.
    I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
    Hello there, just turned into alert to your blog via Google, and found that it is really informative.
    I am gonna be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate
    in the event you proceed this in future. Numerous folks
    will be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

    Comment by Judson — July 22, 2017 @ 10:39 pm

  11. Excellent post. I am dealing with many of these issues as well..

    Comment by Shawna — July 22, 2017 @ 10:50 pm

  12. Hi there, I discovered your website by means of Google
    even as searching for a comparable subject, your site came up, it seems to be good.
    I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and located that it is really informative.

    I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I’ll be grateful if you happen to continue this in future.
    A lot of other folks can be benefited from your
    writing. Cheers!

    Comment by pujcovna.lunix.cz — July 23, 2017 @ 12:37 am

  13. I simply couldn’t go away your site prior
    to suggesting that I really loved the standard info an individual supply in your visitors?
    Is gonna be again continuously to inspect new posts

    Comment by http://web.enerjiuzmanlari.org.tr/UserProfile/tabid/57/userId/124939/language/en-US/Default.aspx — July 23, 2017 @ 10:59 am

  14. Hi, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.

    When I look at your blog in Firefox, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer,
    it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick
    heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!

    Comment by Georges Sadala Rihan — July 24, 2017 @ 4:29 pm

  15. Wow! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a totally different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Great choice of colors!

    Comment by Georges Sadala Rihan — July 24, 2017 @ 4:45 pm

  16. Hi there, I desire to subscribe for this website to obtain newest updates, so where can i do it
    please assist.

    Comment by Glam Seamless — July 26, 2017 @ 6:02 am

  17. This design is spectacular! You obviously know how
    to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos,
    I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job.

    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that,
    how you presented it. Too cool!

    Comment by Eugenio — July 27, 2017 @ 10:17 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress