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“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

November 20, 2009

(No) Call to Action

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:13 am

Getting back out there on March 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

It’s been almost a year, and I still feel sick to my stomach when I see the answering machine with zero messages. I know we can never bet back together, but I keep waiting for him to say he made a mistake. After fifteen years together, I don’t know where to go to meet someone else. Any advice for a 40-year-old NYC girl to find someone else to spend my energy on?

— Brook

Dear Brook,

Please know that we all feel a mite queasy when we come home to zero messages. I think we all know what Randy Travis meant when he sang, “If my phone still ain’t ringing, I assume it still ain’t you.” BG even has a friend — we’ll call her Randy — who *69s when she zeros out, just to see for sure.

Anyway, my advice to an NYC girl: live in NYC. I mean, really live. Do all that stuff in Time Out New York, etc., etc. See, as I’m sure you realize, there’s, um, a lot of killer stuff to do here — and it’s notuncool to do it alone (unlike in Los Angeles, where the only thing that’s cool to do alone is drive). And by “alone,” I mean “approachable.” And “able to approach.”

For backup, read How to Get Married After 35: A Game Plan for Love by Helena Hacker Rosenberg. It’s a totally wise and practical guide that doesn’t talk down to you, load you up with dumb opening lines, or make you feel like a loser.

A final note to everyone who’s been over at BG HQ lately: See, I’ve been meaning to mention this book in answer to just this kind of question. That is why it has been sitting on Breakup Girl’s desk. Okay?!

Breakup Girl


  1. AW really wanna go to new york some day.

    Comment by Alex — November 25, 2009 @ 6:48 am

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    Comment by divina — November 25, 2009 @ 4:25 pm

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