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December 24, 2009

Breaking up before Christmas?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:50 am

Yule regret staying with him on December 21, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend seems to get mad when I talk to other guys, but when I try to talk to him he kinda ignores me for his other friends and the only time he talks to me is when no one else is around. He can never go anywhere with me, but I am always the one to ask. I just wanna be free from him. Do you think I should break up with him? I was gonna dump him, but thought I would wait until after Christmas because otherwise both of our holidays will be bad. I don’t even want a present from him because then I’ll feel bad. What should I do? I’m so confused! Please help!

— Nicole

Dear Nicole,

Breakup Girl knows it’s hard to break up with someone, anyone — even, oddly enough, someone who’s not giving you the time of day. And I know it’s hard not to have a boyfriend at any time of year — and that you especially don’t want to have a blue Christmas. Plus I bet it seems like everyone in school has a boyfriend except you, huh? So I pretty much understand your confusion about — and perhaps wanting to delay — breaking things off.

But Breakup Santa will also come right out and tell you what you really want for Christmas: to be able to talk and hang out with your friends without glancing over your shoulder. To NOT fume in a corner while what’s-his-name ignores you. To NOT have to do all the work, to NOT make all the plans, to NOT be all the girlfriend with none of the boyfriend. And most important: to start, NOW, the process of feeling strong enough on your own that you won’t feel compelled to settle for anyone who is less than a gift in your life.


You’ll feel “bad” if you break up before Christmas?


How much worse could it be?

(And hmm, do you really think this guy’s got a present for you in the first place?)

Do you realize, Nicole, that what you have is not what having a boyfriend — or being a girlfriend — means? Real boyfriends are happy to hang with you and happy that you have other friends, guy or otherwise. Real girlfriends expect no less.

Okay, sweetie? If you dump him — gently — now, yes, you will feel bad and sad. That’s how breakups are. But think of those icky feelings as the ugly wrapping paper on — corny but true — the best present you’ll get this year.

Breakup Girl


  1. For sure Iagree that breaking up in this case is a good thing, when
    it’s really the answer because “it’s” just not working.

    But I also feel that some people, for whatever reason, feel this
    way for several months but only break up right before christmas.
    I don’t get this and this is wrong in my opinion.

    If it naturally happens before christmas, then I think it’s ok though.

    Wouldn’t you agree?

    Comment by Julia — March 31, 2011 @ 3:54 pm

  2. I would! :)

    Comment by BG — April 2, 2011 @ 9:41 am

  3. I broke up with my girl right before Christmas. My parents were supposed to meet her but it was just not working out. Bound to happen anyway – why extend a relationship through Xmas just for the sake of having someone to kiss on the holidays?

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    Comment by Jake — April 2, 2011 @ 10:43 am

  4. Isn’t it so painful? How do you manage to cope with your heart break?

    Comment by Doro mobiltelefon — April 3, 2011 @ 10:21 pm

  5. It doesn’t seem like you’re really happy right now. Why prolong what you are planning on doing anyway? Break ups are never easy, go ahead and make your break and position yourself for a fresh start in the new year!!!

    Comment by Derek — April 7, 2011 @ 2:30 am

  6. Is complicated things. How ever you must face and fight your feelings. You must be true and honest to your self. Make wise decision in your heart. Thank you.

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    Comment by superman stamina — April 8, 2011 @ 12:14 am

  7. That must be very painful. Christmas is supposed to be the season of love and for lovers to renew their vows as a couple.

    Comment by Doro telefon — April 12, 2011 @ 12:44 am

  8. Definately DUMP HIM. This guy is too immature and selfish and will only continue to hurt your feelings. It tough to find the right guy – dont latch on too soon to the next one. Take your time – it will save you lots of angst. Good luck. Gayle

    Comment by Bedside Lamps — April 13, 2011 @ 3:05 pm

  9. Is complicated things. How ever you must face and fight your feelings. You must be true and honest to your self. Make wise decision in your heart. Thank you.

    Comment by yangzky villan — April 30, 2011 @ 7:40 am

  10. Is complicated things and we must aware on this sitaution. How ever you must face and fight your feelings. You must be true and honest to your self. Make wise decision in your heart. Thank you.

    Comment by Panasonic SD-YD250 — April 30, 2011 @ 8:44 am

  11. I think that it doesn’t matter if we do not have a couple when celebrating special moment such as Christmas. There are still many family members that will spend time with us. But, it is important for both you and your boyfriend to get introspection each other and both of you should give understanding each other. Whether breaking up or not, all are in you and your boyfriend. Hopefully, all will be better.

    Comment by Calvin — May 9, 2011 @ 4:15 am

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