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August 25, 2008

Now at MSN.com: “He hasn’t followed through with the divorce!”

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:15 am

Here, your weekly installment — now on Mondays!* — of Ask Lynn, the advice column penned by BG’s alter ego at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week we meet Edgy in Erie, and right away we see where she got her classic alliterative nom-de-lovelorn:

“I find myself on edge all the time,” she writes of her boyfriend, “because …

  1. He hasn’t followed through with the divorce.
  2. He has cheated on me with her.
  3. He talks to her often and seems overly concerned with the goings-on of her life (beyond kid-related things).”

Yep, Erie, we’re all edgy now too.

How to take that edge off? Find out what Lynn has to say here, and then come back here to comment!

* Our latest season of all-new adventures wrapped up last Monday >sniff<! Stay tuned for more …


  1. Let me see if I understand this…
    Scott is separated.
    Scott is living with his girlfriend and her kids.
    Scott’s kids visit them every weekend.
    Scott is worried that his kids won’t be able to handle a DIVORCE.

    I’m not a child psychologist, but I’m guessing that Scott’s kids will find a divorce less confusing than Scott’s current living arrangements.

    Comment by Karl R — August 25, 2008 @ 11:52 am

  2. i’d say it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. i’ve always thought that dating a seperated man isnt a good idea b/c they really arent ready for dating if they are techinically still married and not divorced. otherwise you are just waiting around for them to do what they need to do, (if they ever do it). so why bother? rather have the fella free and clear. :)

    awww, I liked the comics. they ruled! I hope they come back soon! :)

    Comment by karen — August 25, 2008 @ 11:54 am

  3. Take it from me, I spent 5 years with a separated man. His wife was thousands of miles away but not once did he bother to make his divorce final. Even after breaking up with him, his divorce STILL isn’t done. Tell him to get divorced or get out. As long as he stays married to her, you’ll never get anywhere. And everyone else, stay away from someone who is only separated. Tell them to contact you when they have the papers in their hands.

    Comment by Pattie — August 25, 2008 @ 12:05 pm

  4. This is my comment on this situation. Regardless of the fact theat your are living together and stae that your love each other, “HE IS STILL A MARRIED MAN”. You are worried tthat he has cheated on you with (may I remind you)his wife. Please note that you cannot cheat on someone with your “wife”. Let me just remind you something that you may not want to forget..ever. ” Wanting him is not having and having him is not necessarily keeping him if he does not intially belong to you in the first place”. Buck up or move on!

    Comment by Aimee Fohsta-Lynch — August 27, 2008 @ 12:57 pm

  5. The MSN link is unavailable. Is it located somewhere else?

    Comment by angie — September 10, 2008 @ 10:03 pm

  6. Angie: Whoops! Try this: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=8860763
    Fixed it in the text, too. Sorry for the trouble, and thanks for pointing it out!

    Comment by Breakup Girl — September 11, 2008 @ 3:24 pm

  7. I am appalled at any woman who would knowingly involve herself in a relationship with a married man, separated or not. I am on the other end of this story. Lynn has it all wrong. It is MORALLY WRONG to cheat, no matter what, until a divorce is finalized. What happened to the sanctity of marrige? Our society makes it okay for separated or single people to hook up/live together. My husband left me and my kids five months ago. He hasn’t filed for divorce, but it hasn’t stopped him from moving in with another woman and her child. He has no contact with his own children. Who is this woman he is with? Where are her morals? What is she teaching her daughter? I am outraged by this situation for me and my kids. What example is he setting for our own kids? I have no sympathy for the woman who wrote this letter. You should be ashamed for yourself! He is cheating on his wife with you! Get the story straight. You and Lynn both need a wake-up call to see what is really going on!

    Comment by Jennifer — September 26, 2008 @ 3:31 am

  8. I’m tending to go with Jennifer on this. I believe our society takes marriage and divorce too lightly. This guy is tired of the work of a real marriage so he leaves and goes for someone new…now he can be whoever he wants to be for a while…afterall, it takes time for us to see eachother fully in a relationship, and to begin to see the whole picture that is “ourself” in relation to our world around us…he doesn’t want to do the latter….any relationship begins within ourselves and our committment to our own growth and improvement…once you become seriously involved in a relationship you are going to constantly come face to face with yourself…marriage is about that….not just kids and accumlation of “things”….it is about working together through life….dealing with our problems and improving ourselves and our relationship together as we go along….checking out is very often “copping out”…if he doesn’t have the force to deal with the first relationship in a mature and respectful way…where does she get the idea he will deal with her any differently….i say, “get out while you can and don’t waste your time trying to get him to see your side, he’s not about that and he won’t change….he’s not about change iether…..” be strong and hold out for what’s best for you….

    Comment by anna — September 26, 2008 @ 3:53 am

  9. Beware! There is something called the long-term marriage rule. If your boyfriend has been married for maore than 10 years fo his now-separated wife, then he, and you are are on the hook for life – and I do mean life. Alimony for the rest of her life if she doesn’t remarry, retirement considertations, 1/2 of his social security before and after death. If he is serious about his relationship with you and has not been married to his wife for 10 years or more, then it’s time to get out NOW, or both of you will regret if forever.

    Comment by Katy — September 26, 2008 @ 11:20 am

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