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September 30, 2008

CSI: IDAHO

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:23 am

Classic LetterThe “Predicament of the Week” from January 12, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I had been engaged to this girl for eight months and I had been going with her for a couple of years. I phoned her one night to see what she was doing and was told that she was gone for a walk. So I waited a few hours and phoned again. The second time I spoke with her little sister and was told she was out walking with the guy from up the road. They had been out walking for three hours and it had gotten dark an hour before. So I went to find my wayward wife to be. When I arrived at her place she was there waiting for me. She told me this story…

She said she had gone for a walk with the guy up the road around seven o’clock. They had been walking up a rarely travelled dirt road that leads down to a lake where people go to make out. While they were walking along a truck came down the road and stopped at a potato field. This was around seven-thirty in the evening. She said that the people in the truck had came to steal potatoes out of a farmer’s field. She said that she had been scared of the potato thieves so she and the guy she was with hid in the woods. They hid for approximately three hours alone in the woods. Then they finally snuck away to the safety of home around eleven o’clock.

This is her story explaining to me, her fiance, where she had been and what she had been doing. All the time that she was telling me this story I was thinking she was the worst liar that I had ever heard. Before I left she told me this three times. She was overly cheery. Do you believe her story? What do you think her and this guy were doing in the woods for three hours in the dark? Also I work for a potato farm and potato thieves do not steal potatoes out of a field for three hours at night. Were they going to harvest the whole field or something? Anyway, watch out for the potato thieves.

–Wondering
Dear Wondering,

Hmm. I was going to say that yeah, it sounds perfectly plausible to me. Until you brought in your expert observation that these thieves did not seem to follow what is apparently considered standard potato thief m.o. That is where her story really falls apart (well, that plus her suspiciously “cheery” demeanor). If I were you, yeah, I’d be a little suspicious.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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