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September 30, 2008


Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:23 am

Classic LetterThe “Predicament of the Week” from January 12, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I had been engaged to this girl for eight months and I had been going with her for a couple of years. I phoned her one night to see what she was doing and was told that she was gone for a walk. So I waited a few hours and phoned again. The second time I spoke with her little sister and was told she was out walking with the guy from up the road. They had been out walking for three hours and it had gotten dark an hour before. So I went to find my wayward wife to be. When I arrived at her place she was there waiting for me. She told me this story…

She said she had gone for a walk with the guy up the road around seven o’clock. They had been walking up a rarely travelled dirt road that leads down to a lake where people go to make out. While they were walking along a truck came down the road and stopped at a potato field. This was around seven-thirty in the evening. She said that the people in the truck had came to steal potatoes out of a farmer’s field. She said that she had been scared of the potato thieves so she and the guy she was with hid in the woods. They hid for approximately three hours alone in the woods. Then they finally snuck away to the safety of home around eleven o’clock.

This is her story explaining to me, her fiance, where she had been and what she had been doing. All the time that she was telling me this story I was thinking she was the worst liar that I had ever heard. Before I left she told me this three times. She was overly cheery. Do you believe her story? What do you think her and this guy were doing in the woods for three hours in the dark? Also I work for a potato farm and potato thieves do not steal potatoes out of a field for three hours at night. Were they going to harvest the whole field or something? Anyway, watch out for the potato thieves.

Dear Wondering,

Hmm. I was going to say that yeah, it sounds perfectly plausible to me. Until you brought in your expert observation that these thieves did not seem to follow what is apparently considered standard potato thief m.o. That is where her story really falls apart (well, that plus her suspiciously “cheery” demeanor). If I were you, yeah, I’d be a little suspicious.

Breakup Girl


  1. Why did she feel the need to make up such a complicated explanation?
    I think in Britain they’d call it “A load of old bollocks”.

    Comment by Giulia — September 30, 2008 @ 12:45 pm

  2. Since you’ve already talked this over with her and have no proof of mischief, you may just have to take her word for it. If I were this lady, I’d be angry at your childish need to check up on me! Are you possesive? If so, the marriage was probably not a happy one.

    Comment by Jay — September 30, 2008 @ 4:10 pm

  3. Guy… C’mon… She’s messing around. The writing is on the wall. If I were you I would go meet the guy and just ask him. It’s not his fault so don’t be mad at him. Tell him you want to avoid making a mistake if she’s messing around.

    Always remember: If it looks like crap, smells like crap.. It’s crap.

    Comment by Austin — September 30, 2008 @ 4:22 pm

  4. I’ve spent a lot of time up in Idaho. I learned two things. The first is that there isn’t anything to do in Idaho. The second is what everyone does to fill their time…mack-out. Three hours of it from the looks of it. Sorry buddy. It doesn’t mean everything is over. Tell her what you’re feeling and and say you’re open to not getting upset if the two of you could just try talking it out.

    Comment by Emmy — September 30, 2008 @ 6:33 pm

  5. Around the time of the potato king. I was flying on a magic carpet trying to get out of quarantine. There was a girl (Singing Eyes) or (One Who Often Appears With Red Hair) who gazed at a demented boy with a look threatened to break all the barriers in his mind. Unleashing or bypassing everything he carefully constructed to function on a daily basis. In fact, she was reaching into his soul.
    His whole body shook when she was near.
    Then she angered him greatly.. He had to walk great distances to let go of this anger… There was no logical reason for him to be angry. He wasn’t going out with her, he didn’t even believe he knew her name. She was not his, but for some emotional reason he did believe she was! He had barely talked to her, he knew little about her, and he does not understand how she can gaze at him so.
    After the potato fields and woods..the next day. he upset her for some reason and she was out for vengeance. she warned him. she dared confront him with the most evil single eye right before she attempted to destroy the check on his emotions.
    She hid behind an suv, looking out at him with just one eye.pretty… but devious eye. she walked over and put her hands on the body of the man she was pretending to be in a relationship with. This boy knows it was a lie. He can sense these things, its hsi special ability. But he couldn’t verify it from her. Instead he knew it was a lie from the man who went along with this ruse. Karma point..for the man.- The boy dearly wanted to hit dutch, but realized his anger would be mistargeted. besides what reason did he have, she was not his girl.
    But he couldn’t figure out why he was so angry that this strange girl meant so much. How could she anger him? The wonder boy has been immune to emotional manipulation for a lontg time. Ever since a girl from California came to washington, hes been wary and guarded since. He must care about this girl. Next he tried to talk with her…after walking long distances seeking answers. She deflected the attempt. He tried to get closer to her, she moved away. Since then she has only been playing more and more games, he can’t seem to consciously trust her anymore. She guards her mind, her identity. She is capable of lying to him. These are all marvels to him. I can spot anyone else masks. Not right away but its all revealed eventually to me. She is a mystery!!!! You have been driving me insane (singing eyes)!!!!!!!!!

    Lynn you are someone i actually trust. how can I know her true identity? I can recognize her unconscioulsy but am so confused and worn out from spotting old friends and new strangers. She has hurt me. i don’t find it easy to trust when she is playing games with me. I have turned my world over four times trying to figure her out. I need help. Advice

    Comment by Sean — October 1, 2008 @ 11:32 am

  6. Sean! I am duly intrigued! But please remember: (sadly, as we note here — http://breakupgirl.net/advice/index.html) BG is no longer taking Qs via this site (or blog), but rather via asklynn@match.com. Thanks!

    Comment by Breakup Girl — October 1, 2008 @ 11:46 am

  7. RE: the woman who was wondering why her boyfriend never scheduled
    a weekend date, has anyone thought he very well could be MARRIED!

    Comment by LInda — October 2, 2008 @ 1:58 pm

  8. re: the girl who wondered why her boyfriend was not scheduling
    weekend dates, it could be that he is married.

    Comment by LInda — October 2, 2008 @ 1:59 pm

  9. Maybe he has kids and doesn’t want her to know…

    Comment by Katherine — October 2, 2008 @ 2:28 pm

  10. The guy that will not see her on weekends is either: 1. hanging with his buds on weekends, 2. haa another girl, 3. is married.
    So, just lower your expectations, get over it, AND BE HAPPY!
    why do women always feel they must be heading down the aisle to marry in order to have fun?
    We buy your drinks, dinners, presents, take you on trips, etc etc and if we do not agree to give you half our net worth and put ourselves at risk for alimony, it is just a waste of your time, isn’t it??!!

    Comment by jd smith — October 2, 2008 @ 4:33 pm

  11. This happened to me once — turns out he was very married and a really good liar. If you plan on getting serious with him, you need to find out why he’s not available on weekends before you get in too deep.

    Comment by elizabeth — October 2, 2008 @ 7:54 pm

  12. “We buy your drinks, dinners, presents, take you on trips, etc…” Woah, not all girls are looking for handouts. I prefer to pave my own way, that way you can’t wave that up in the air like we owe you something if you do treat us.

    Comment by Liz — October 4, 2008 @ 7:30 pm

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