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February 15, 2010

Announcing our 2010 Haiku Master!

Filed under: Holiday — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:01 am

You rated the haikus and determined our finalists …
Now, from your favorites, our fancy celebrity judge Joel Stein has anointed a winner:

I don’t think I’d need
Five hundred days to know that
Summer was a bitch.

— Ash

Ash is our 2010 Haiku Master! Ash is also our MVP, being the author of a majority of our highest rated haiku (though his syllable counting skills were not always perfect).

Here are our Honorable Mentions, the other highest-rated haiku that had the correct meter, showed no voting irregularities, and were not written by Lynn or Chris…

We’re so different.
For example, I’m a Mac.
And you’re an asshole.

— Ash

It will never work.
I like Radiohead and
you like Dave Matthews.

— Salmeen

young love grows old fast:
the puppy you wanted then
has gone to the dogs

— ed

These aren’t tears for you.
I’m just upset that Mom said,
“See. I told you so.”

— Ash

The signs were all there.
Like your YouTube “parody”
of Single Ladies.

— Ash

Check out all the entries in our 2010 Valentine’s Day Haiku Contest here. (Disagree with the results? Yes, you can still rate them!)

No Comments »

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  3. It is nice to see that you acknowledge that it does in fact NOT simulate altitude training (users need to use bucketfuls of faith to actually believe something so illogical).But I am skeptical to it having any beneficial effects at all. You believe in it and have good experiences using it. I am skeptical and may not like it at all if I try it. Placebo and nocebo effect can be at play. My experience really is meaningless, what matters is if it works or not and it does not make much sense from a physical standpoint. I don’t see why strengthening lung muscles should help your cardio, when my body is bursting with lactic acid being able to continue to huff and puff is not any of my problems.If you use it a lot I guess it could change your breathing pattern, that seems possible… What I do know though is that it is being aggressively marketed as a substitute for altitude training which is a bad case of false advertising.

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  10. I′m reading about the elevation train masks and it looks pretty interesting.Any of you guys have ever tried it before??? is it effective for Crossfit training??? if so….what kind of exercises are the more appropriate for its use.Thanks a lotWOD ON!!!So-called elevation masks do not work like most think or hope. They do not simulate high altitude training. If anything, they simulate snorkeling at sea level.At high altitude the lungs fill up easily. They have very little oxygen to deliver but they’re full. They’re filled with thin and oxygen-poor gas. The red blood cells pass through the lungs saying, “Oh, no oxygen deliveries today? ok maybe next time ’round” and keep on going, as empty as little freight train box cars with no freight. Respiration rates and circulation rates go up. Breathing is deep and rapid.In snorkeling the lungs and ribcage become harder and harder to expand as you go deeper, due to the pressure of the water. Lack of oxygen is not the problem; the air is thick and rich with oxygen. Filling the lungs is the problem. The muscles of the ribs and the diaphragm struggle for the strength to pull in air. Breathing becomes shallow and may even slow down.Elevation masks will exercise the heck out of the rib muscles but do nothing to increase the aerobic capacity of your circulatory system.

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  11. Sorry to jump in here guys but since the UG is uneducated in this matter we will bring you up to speed.Here is from Dr. Joseph Sheppard a TRUE user of the Elevation Training Mask.If you DO NOT OWN or NEVER HAVE TRIED the Elevation Training Mask – Contact CASEY@TRAININGMASK.COM for a FREE Training Mask – However this FREE MASK does not come without a catch. You will need to produce a 10 min video of you doing cardio with the TRAINING MASK on. IF you cannot keep it on “since it doesnt work” you will pay us double for that TRAINING MASK” however if you keep it on for the FULL WORK OUT for 10 Mins its yours to keep!IF you get a FREE TRAINING MASK we will log your name and post it to the UNDERGROUND AND YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE TO PRODUCE “WERE GOING TO CALL YOU OUT” If you do not do your video!GOOD READ BELOW FROM A DOCTORELEVATE YOUR TRAINING BY DOCTOR JOSEPHMany years ago, I ventured out to the Colorado Rockies to do some Mountain biking, climbing and Skydiving. I read that training or exercising at a much higher altitude would be difficult initially and required an adaptation process at the cellular level. My initial response to living in the different altitude was about 3 days of fatigue, some dizziness, headache, and lethargic. My body adapted quickly to this change and the experience was invigorating. I also heard that many endurance athletes would train at higher altitudes to improve their performance, but with travel and convenience issues that was done by only a few of the select elite athletes.The human body adapts to stressors and changes in the environments in order to survive and live. High altitude training, the reduction of Oxygen greater than 5,000 ft above sea level the promotes an altered muscle metabolism and increased mass of hemoglobin and Red Blood Cells. The body adapts by increasing the size of the cells and optimizes how muscles work more efficiently in this environment.Recently, advancements in training have given the rise to multiple options in altitude simulation tents or rooms and the most effective is the mask based hypoxicator system (Elevation Training Mask). Altitude training is called Hypoxic training which involves living and or training at a reduced oxygen level for the purpose of improved athletic performance or health benefits. The mask reduces the partial pressure of oxygen while keeping the barometric pressure the same with the convenience of training at home or gym. A Finland scientist, Heikki Rusko, concluded that a high altitude house which controls the partial pressure of the oxygen which was equivalent to O2 levels at higher altitudes, showed improvements in EPO and red blood cells with performance improvements in speed, strength, endurance and recovery.While living at a high altitude does show changes in physiology, the intensity of the workouts are altered due to reduced oxygen and the inability to train at high levels of exertion in higher altitudes. Factor variations in training programs, time spent and individual athlete in multiple studies showed different results and the benefits occurred mostly with endurance aerobic type athletes. Atmospheric pressure is the primary difference in the benefit of attitude training. At sea level, the air is denser with more particles of gas per liter while a higher altitude has less molecules of gas and the air is much denser. Higher altitudes cause a physiological change in the body by reducing the partial pressure of gases that are in the body. Specific athletic performancements are caused by these survival adaptation processes in the body.American Researchers claim this is primarily due to increased red blood cell volume, while Australian and New England Researchers believe that this is caused by optimizing the body’s ability to use oxygen more effienctly. Increased Red Blood cell volume occurs when with a decreased oxygen saturation of hemoglobin; the body produces additional red blood cells. This is thru EPO secretion by the kidneys which causes the bone marrow to produce RBC. This stressor adaption causes improved oxygen delivery and hemoglobin saturation levels. This process will occur over time, but it is uncertain of this adaption process timeframe. More effective use of oxygen by the muscular system are also related to ph regulation, glucose transport, growth of new blood cell vessels (angiogenesis), glucose metabolic breakdown and ATP utilization in the Krebs Cycle. In the Journal of Applied Physiology, Researchers concluded that genetic changes occur and that properties of the mitochondrial skeletal muscle adjust to the environment. Research concluded in Switzerland revealed that high level intensity exercises under this altitude hypoxia training causes structural and molecular changes that improve oxygen transport and the utilization by skeletal muscles. The human body is capable of adapting to stressors or environments to work more efficiently and improve how it performs cellular or athletically. I have found that simulated Altitude training while using the Elevation Training mask will do several things to our workouts which are performance based, physiological and mental focus also. The above research conclusions speak for the validity of using the MASK to improve your workouts and training intensities. The MASK is a highly effective device that changes your cellular and structural mechanisms and has improved my performance and health on the road and in the gym.

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