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February 15, 2010

Announcing our 2010 Haiku Master!

Filed under: Holiday — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:01 am

You rated the haikus and determined our finalists …
Now, from your favorites, our fancy celebrity judge Joel Stein has anointed a winner:

I don’t think I’d need
Five hundred days to know that
Summer was a bitch.

— Ash

Ash is our 2010 Haiku Master! Ash is also our MVP, being the author of a majority of our highest rated haiku (though his syllable counting skills were not always perfect).

Here are our Honorable Mentions, the other highest-rated haiku that had the correct meter, showed no voting irregularities, and were not written by Lynn or Chris…

We’re so different.
For example, I’m a Mac.
And you’re an asshole.

— Ash

It will never work.
I like Radiohead and
you like Dave Matthews.

— Salmeen

young love grows old fast:
the puppy you wanted then
has gone to the dogs

— ed

These aren’t tears for you.
I’m just upset that Mom said,
“See. I told you so.”

— Ash

The signs were all there.
Like your YouTube “parody”
of Single Ladies.

— Ash

Check out all the entries in our 2010 Valentine’s Day Haiku Contest here. (Disagree with the results? Yes, you can still rate them!)

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  32. Training at attitude elicits a physiological response of the body releasing more red blood cells and increase the production cycle..this is due to the level of oxygen concentration. Below four thousand feet oxygen contcentration is roughly 20%. And stays constant because constant due to hemoglobin. Unless you suffer from blood loss…it’s pretty much constant. After that 4k it bell curves downwards rather quickly per 1000 feet. Hence the term thin air.So I guess the real question is can you train for this?Yes… But…..1- to maintain the ability to function in a hypoxia state is largely stay in a thin air environment. Achieved by 1- living at attitude for awhile. Aka acclimatization. Move to any where in Colorado, Mexico city or lake Tahoe2- using a altitude tent…. Basically is a sleeping bubble that is sealed off and filled with low percentage oxygen. Forcing the body to release more red blood cells. Takes about 3 weeks to acclimate but it must be done nightly.If one stops and you are not at altitude …. In roughly 10 days, the corrects itself and readjusts to the 20 percent mark.Can it be done indefinitely ?Yes… Expensively, you own a altitude simulatutorCheaply. Move to a height of 4k feet plus.Covertly , Yes… Blood doping, Epo supplementation Both work but have hand in hand health risks that lie on morbid side.Using a mask? In theory yes … Reduce the volume of air pumped in to the lung but increase the demand of oxygen … The body releases some more blood volume by reducing flow to other unnecessary body parts- tempoarily.Reality…Once you take off that mask…. It tilts back in to balance.Oxygen level in the air at less than 4k… Will still be 20percent. Your body hasn’t released enough natural occurring epo to impact anything. Meaning no lasting effects.There is a reason why the us Olympic training centre is in colorado

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  33. The Fatal Flaws of Altitude Masks for Endurance AthletesThe short answer to the question of whether you should invest in an altitude training mask is: No. But, as with so many things in sports science, there’s more to the story because there can be benefits to exercising in a hypoxic environment, they’re just not the ones you normally associate with altitude training. First, here’s why you don’t need the mask:Restricting your breathing ruins your workoutAs an endurance athlete your goal is to maximize your ability to deliver oxygen to working muscles. The more oxygen you can inhale and deliver per minute, the more muscular work you can perform. When you restrict your breathing with a mask, you lose power and go slower. You’re stressing your ability to breathe, not your ability to do work. To improve fitness for endurance sports you need to accumulate enough workload to create a training stimulus, and you can’t work as hard when your breathing is restricted. Ironically, the mask makes your workout difficult and exhausting, but ultimately less effective.Strengthening breathing muscles doesn’t improve athletic performanceBreathing against resistance in training doesn’t result in an increase in the amount of oxygen you can take in per minute when you remove the resistance. In other words, the strength of your intercostal muscles and diaphragm aren’t limiting factors in your ability to fill your lungs. When people report feeling like they can breathe deeper, it is likely because breathing deeply or forcefully has helped the muscles loosen up and increased the mobility of your ribs. You’ll notice the same thing if you have to take a few weeks off from exercise; after a workout or two you feel like you can take bigger breaths because your chest has loosened up.Even elite athletes at altitude don’t want to train at altitudeAthletes who live at altitude acclimate to the elevation by developing more red blood cells. That means they can train effectively at that altitude, but their power still declines when they go up into the mountains outside of town. The bigger benefit to living at altitude is the ability to go down to lower elevations for training camps where elite athletes can take advantage of increased oxygen carrying capacity in an environment where there’s more oxygen. They don’t do the opposite. They don’t live at 6,000 feet and go up to the top of mountain at 12,000 feet to do their intervals. In specialized cases we also employ supplemental oxygen training for athletes living and training at altitude. The High Altitude Training Center (HATC) at the Olympic Training Center is more often used to simulate sea level conditions than high altitude conditions. By adding oxygen athletes can achieve sea level power outputs in training, or recover in sea level conditions, while living at altitude.Even if the idea was good, the exposure is too shortPart of the reason the traditional “Live High, Train Low” method of altitude training says “live high” is because the phrase indicates how much time you need to be exposed to altitude for it to yield a positive training adaptation. Restricting oxygen for the short duration of a workout isn’t enough of a stimulus to lead to the training adaptations you’re after from altitude.

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  35. It is nice to see that you acknowledge that it does in fact NOT simulate altitude training (users need to use bucketfuls of faith to actually believe something so illogical).But I am skeptical to it having any beneficial effects at all. You believe in it and have good experiences using it. I am skeptical and may not like it at all if I try it. Placebo and nocebo effect can be at play. My experience really is meaningless, what matters is if it works or not and it does not make much sense from a physical standpoint. I don’t see why strengthening lung muscles should help your cardio, when my body is bursting with lactic acid being able to continue to huff and puff is not any of my problems.If you use it a lot I guess it could change your breathing pattern, that seems possible… What I do know though is that it is being aggressively marketed as a substitute for altitude training which is a bad case of false advertising.

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  43. I′m reading about the elevation train masks and it looks pretty interesting.Any of you guys have ever tried it before??? is it effective for Crossfit training??? if so….what kind of exercises are the more appropriate for its use.Thanks a lotWOD ON!!!So-called elevation masks do not work like most think or hope. They do not simulate high altitude training. If anything, they simulate snorkeling at sea level.At high altitude the lungs fill up easily. They have very little oxygen to deliver but they’re full. They’re filled with thin and oxygen-poor gas. The red blood cells pass through the lungs saying, “Oh, no oxygen deliveries today? ok maybe next time ’round” and keep on going, as empty as little freight train box cars with no freight. Respiration rates and circulation rates go up. Breathing is deep and rapid.In snorkeling the lungs and ribcage become harder and harder to expand as you go deeper, due to the pressure of the water. Lack of oxygen is not the problem; the air is thick and rich with oxygen. Filling the lungs is the problem. The muscles of the ribs and the diaphragm struggle for the strength to pull in air. Breathing becomes shallow and may even slow down.Elevation masks will exercise the heck out of the rib muscles but do nothing to increase the aerobic capacity of your circulatory system.

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