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March 22, 2010

This week at Happen: I need out

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:48 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn responds to a woman aptly named Lost. She’s a woman that’s going places, stuck in a relationship that’s going nowhere:

We have fought constantly … and every time we fight we break up. He decides that he can’t handle what’s going on and tries to blame me. He is going to be 30 and yet can’t seem to get a grip on what he wants in life. I do not think that he appreciates me.

After dating for five years how can she break away? Read Lynn’s advice at Happen, then share your own stories below!


  1. I agree that Lost and Steve need to break up.

    However, I suspect that Lost may be the a major contributor to the problems in the relationship, so she may create similar problems in her future relationships.

    Lost said:
    “he feels like he needs to stay in contact with his exes. I can’t see why. We have fought constantly about it, and every time we fight we break up.”

    My girlfriend is in contact with at least three of her exes. I’m in contact with five of mine. Neither of us sees any problem with it. (Those relationships ended for a reason.)

    If any girlfriend of mine objected to me being in contact with my exes, I would explain that they’re not a threat. If she was unable to accept that and trust me, I would break up with her. I’m still in the same social circles with these exes, and I’m not going to turn that upside-down for a girlfriend.

    Steve’s problem is that he’s trying to avoid conflict … so he tried to hide his contact with his exes instead of confronting the problem directly.

    Lost would do better to find a man who is on horrible terms with his exes and never wants to talk to them again. On the other hand, that’s not the sign of someone who is terribly mature about how they handle relationships or breakups, so she may be setting herself up for a completely different set of problems down the road.

    Comment by Karl R — March 22, 2010 @ 1:59 pm

  2. Here, here, Karl. When I first read this letter I was like, “no wonder he’s not telling you who he’s talking to, because you’ve got this hangup about no contact with exes.” That’s usually not a big deal for people who’ve been in and ARE IN healthy relationships. Her other arguments may be valid. But we can all agree that these two people should not be together (!) and that what “Lost” needs right now is support from her friends to help her make this happen, as BG says.

    Comment by Chris — March 22, 2010 @ 2:36 pm

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