Working it on April 6, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
First off, YOU ROCK!!! OK, now to business. There is this guy at work who is a Major BABE. (I rarely use that word but in this case, it fits). We have recently become Great Friends. We hang out all the time and are constantly doing things together. I have to say that he is not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside!!!! Anyway, everyone at work is in love with him, and he is hanging out with me. My problem is, I am starting to really feel for him. And I don’t know what to do.
On one hand I think, Yeah I should be happy being his Friend (I hate that word). And on the other: He is the one I have been looking for. He is the greatest guy. Any woman would be very lucky to have him…. It needs to be me !!
Should I do anything?? At the worst, we will be life long friends, at the best we will grow old together. Breakup Girl, I need your words of wisdom. Do I tell this guy what he means to me, and risk the chance of messing up the friendship?
Or keep my mouth shut and drool every time we are together?
I fully recognize that your job is a legit place to find your soulmate (”Some Enchanted Meeting…”). In today’s gender-blending, team-playing, midnight-oil-burning workplaces, romance can be natural, even inevitable. More likely than not, you have common interests, similar schedules, an opportunity to get to know each other that does not involve beer/darts — and heck, you know he has a job.
But. For your venture to be worth the risk — of alienating co-workers, of derailing the friendship, of being banished to the “bad” copier after a lousy breakup — you have to have a pretty fierce hunch that things could really, truly work out. A hunch that comes from your gut, not from your fourth margarita.
And while you’re considering that, consider this: office love does not have to be all or nothing. There’s a case to be made for chaste co-worker flirtation (CCF, for future reference) that’s consummated only in a positive, productive energy and work ethic. And a little buzz that makes you psyched to go to work. More about this below.