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June 28, 2010

Are you being too picky?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:10 am

PLEASE read (BG alter-ego) Lynn Harris’ new article for match.com if your online profile looks anything like this:

Me: otherwise easygoing SF, 29, in desirable neighborhood near excellent schools and world-class cheese market. You: 31-36, Ivy League (except Penn), minimum 5’ 10″, maximum 180 lbs., pectoral-to-waist ratio .33; fiscal conservative/social liberal; profession: law, medicine, banking (employer must have innovative paternity leave policy); hobbies: pan-Asian cooking, helping the needy, foot rubs; civil to (but not “friends” with) ex-girlfriends (maximum: 2); informed, witty, self-starter: equally comfortable chatting at state dinners and changing tires. Send introductory email along with photo, high school and college transcripts, 3 recommendations (1 academic, 1 professional, 1 non-threatening friend-girl) plus two 750-word essays on the topics: (1) “A Man of Quality is Not Threatened By A Woman For Equality” and (2) “Why I Always Share My Feelings.”


  1. hum, the site seems a bit changed, its through yahoo now? what happeend to having its own seperate advice section? I found that match.com for me was like a bar but its worked for my sister, so I guess it depends on where you live….so many factors! :)

    Comment by Karen — June 28, 2010 @ 12:18 pm

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  3. Perhaps not picky enough…

    In the criteria, 2 things imply “straight”, but do not explicitly require it:
    “Employer…innovative paternity” and “ex-girlfriends”

    As a matter of fact, it doesn’t even specify “male”.

    Comment by Michael P — June 29, 2010 @ 9:07 am

  4. lol

    Comment by J pizzle — June 29, 2010 @ 10:15 am

  5. Hi Karen — good eye! Here’s the deal, far as I understand it. The stuff I write for Match/MSN runs first at Happenmag.com. Then it also might wind up on one of MSN’s “portal partners,” which include Yahoo…

    Comment by BG — June 29, 2010 @ 4:45 pm

  6. I’d be amazed if that got even one serious responce. I mean really, who would wasnt to hang out with someone that rigid? Seriosly, did you want to pick out my clothes each morning too?

    Easygoing? You’re kidding, right?

    Comment by Kelly (male) — June 29, 2010 @ 5:54 pm

  7. @Kelly
    >You’re kidding, right?
    Right! :)

    Comment by BG — June 29, 2010 @ 6:01 pm

  8. What are guys supposed to do if they only meet half the criteria? I feel that this is what (at least I) have to deal with on the dating scene.

    Not that I’m not somewhat selective myself…

    Comment by DM — July 1, 2010 @ 1:57 am

  9. great sites very colorful thanks for sharing. great articles

    Comment by Dirty Talk Ideas — July 1, 2010 @ 4:05 am

  10. @DM: I feel like — and folks can correct me here — there are several (ok, many) categories of daters. but just to break it down broadly in terms of pickiness, there’s one group that’s WAY too picky, totally pricing themselves and their dates out of the market/relationships. so that’s not helpful. and then there are folks who aren’t picky enough, ie who make crappy or unhealthy or at least underexamined choices. but somewhere in the middle there are folks who maybe have a “list” of characteristics they want — or THINK they NEED — and then they meet this guy/girl and maybe he/she doesn’t have X or Y and probably not Z either but there’s seomthing about them that makes you think about them all the way home and then you’re psyched when they call, or you drop a dime in spite of yourself, and all of a sudden you’re dating — and maybe even really into — Mr./Ms. Normally Not My Type. that’s where the picky-defying magic happens. and i think that’s a big group of people, cause that’s a story we’ve heard over and over. does that help at all?

    Comment by BG — July 1, 2010 @ 4:50 pm

  11. How do you know your ‘value’ in the Economic Model of dating? Can I afford bluefin, or am I to settle for Spam?

    I have (ill-fatedly) dated [i.e. 1 or 4 dates] with some range-topping, mindblowingly amazing women, and know a number more. So, given there are fish in the sea, how does one, er, bait the hook properly — or get strong enough line so the fish doesn’t get away every time!! OR how does one figure out their ‘parity’ level?

    I’m confused, 29, 5’5″ and getting tired of 1st dates that seem to go well and never lead to seconds.

    Comment by DM — July 20, 2010 @ 10:37 am

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