Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

October 15, 2010

Getting him committed

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:26 am

Nothing to fear but April 20, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend of two and a half years dumped me last week because he is afraid of commitment (that’s what he says anyway). I know he feels bad because he cannot even look at me without getting tears to his eyes. I also know that we were very happy together. He never mentioned the fear to me before then and I kept saying to him “I saw a really pretty ring today.” I am so confused because I know he loves me and I know this is tearing us both apart. I can’t even call him because I want to give him his space. I gave him a book yesterday about fear of commitment and how to overcome it. My question is should I even have any hope that he will be able to face this fear and possible come back to me? One of his biggest fears is kids. He does not want any kids but he thinks I do. I have tried to tell him that all I really want is him. I am so confused. HELP!

— Desperately In Love

Dear Desperately,

There’s no delicate (or graceful) way to say this: getting a book about overcoming fear of commitment from the person to whom he fears commitment will not help him overcome his fear of commitment. Immersion therapy works with, like, spiders (and it also helped me overcome my fear of Los Angeles) — but with relationships, not so much. There may not be anything you can do. Which is different from saying he will or won’t come back. At the moment, he’s got to figure this out on his own, not with the person who triggers the fear. But you are allowed to give him a deadline (see the column on space). Tell him you need to know what he thinks by — oh, I don’t know, pick a date in a month or two. Set the date, then back off. He should at least be able to commit to that. Without your giving him any books on meeting deadlines.

Love,
Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. My friend just sent me a link to this articles and I have to say I’m impressed. I like what you’ve been writing and I think your advice is spot on.

    I agree with you on maybe getting him some literature on overcoming fears of commitment. It’s a good start and if he has an open mind it can help him see things he didn’t before. Sometimes it just takes that extra nudge to help get things on the right track. Awesome stuff!

    Comment by Niko — October 18, 2010 @ 2:59 pm

  2. http://cipro-antibiotic.bid/ – cipro http://zithromaxzpak.bid/ – zithromax prescription http://amitriptyline-online.webcam/ – learn more

    Comment by ashomhpjn48 — August 23, 2016 @ 11:17 pm

  3. Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I
    stumbleupon everyday. It’s always exciting to read through content from other writers and use a little something from other web sites.

    Comment by Angie — October 12, 2016 @ 11:53 am

  4. Hey, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, great blog!

    Comment by new zealand immigration — October 16, 2016 @ 5:46 am

  5. Hey! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone
    3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts!
    Keep up the outstanding work!

    Comment by you could try these out — October 16, 2016 @ 4:11 pm

  6. Spot on with this write-up, I honestly believe this amazing site needs a great
    deal more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read
    through more, thanks for the information!

    Comment by Leora — October 17, 2016 @ 7:05 pm

  7. I constantly emailed this web site post page to
    all my associates, because if like to read it
    afterward my friends will too.

    Comment by first time traveler — October 19, 2016 @ 7:29 am

  8. Hello, all the time i used to check weblog posts here in the early hours in the morning, since i like to
    find out more and more.

    Comment by check your credit report — October 19, 2016 @ 12:18 pm

  9. Hmm it looks like your blog ate my first comment (it was
    extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and
    say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am
    an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything.
    Do you have any recommendations for beginner blog writers?
    I’d definitely appreciate it.

    Comment by travel visa — October 22, 2016 @ 6:19 am

  10. Greetings, I do think your blog may be having browser
    compatibility problems. When I take a look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in I.E., it’s got some
    overlapping issues. I just wanted to provide you with a quick heads up!
    Other than that, great website!

    Comment by podcast directories — October 25, 2016 @ 3:30 am

  11. I constantly emailed this blog post page to
    all my associates, as if like to read it afterward
    my contacts will too.

    Comment by card reader — October 25, 2016 @ 8:30 am

  12. No matter if some one searches for his vital
    thing, so he/she needs to be available that in detail, thus that thing is maintained over
    here.

    Comment by Cindy — April 22, 2017 @ 9:41 pm

  13. wh0cd496452 cialis price

    Comment by Caseynen — April 26, 2017 @ 6:01 pm

  14. you’re actually a just right webmaster. The website loading velocity is amazing.
    It sort of feels that you are doing any unique trick.
    Also, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a fantastic task on this matter!

    Comment by Indiana — April 27, 2017 @ 5:01 pm

  15. This article is genuinely a nice one it helps new net users, who
    are wishing for blogging.

    Comment by Latanya — April 29, 2017 @ 10:25 am

  16. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well
    written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it
    and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks
    for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.

    Comment by http://www.hairydudetube.com/article_detail/the-powerful-entrepreneurs-24956.html — May 1, 2017 @ 6:00 am

  17. My brother recommended I might like this website. He was totally right.

    This post actually made my day. You can not believe simply how so much time I had spent for this info!
    Thanks!

    Comment by Dave — May 3, 2017 @ 12:33 am

  18. This article will assist the internet users for building
    up new weblog or even a weblog from start to
    end.

    Comment by Dominique — May 5, 2017 @ 2:22 pm

  19. I have read a few good stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting.
    I wonder how so much attempt you set to make this sort of fantastic informative
    website.

    Comment by Ariane Slinger ace — May 6, 2017 @ 2:53 am

  20. I blog frequently and I really thank you for your information. This great article has
    really peaked my interest. I’m going to take a note of your website and keep
    checking for new details about once a week. I opted in for your Feed as well.

    Comment by https://ballbio.com/ — May 6, 2017 @ 11:22 pm

  21. Wow! After all I got a weblog from where I can in fact obtain helpful information regarding my study
    and knowledge.

    Comment by Royce — May 9, 2017 @ 2:28 am

  22. Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this
    board and I find It really useful & it helped me out
    a lot. I hope to give something back and aid others like you
    helped me.

    Comment by makanan baik untuk bayi 6 bulan — May 10, 2017 @ 1:02 am

  23. I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty.
    You’re amazing! Thanks!

    Comment by www.usagrants.us — May 10, 2017 @ 8:55 am

  24. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog.
    A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be back.

    Comment by Bernadine — May 12, 2017 @ 6:40 pm

  25. I have been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all
    site owners and bloggers made good content as you did,
    the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

    Comment by https://pt.wikipedia.org/ — May 14, 2017 @ 12:25 pm

  26. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I
    clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr…
    well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just
    wanted to say wonderful blog!

    Comment by solar powered self-recharge — May 15, 2017 @ 5:08 am

  27. We’re a bunch of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community.

    Your web site offered us with helpful information to work on.
    You’ve performed a formidable job and our entire
    community will likely be thankful to you.

    Comment by Dusty — May 15, 2017 @ 9:51 pm

  28. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I
    find this topic to be actually something that I
    think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me.
    I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try
    to get the hang of it!

    Comment by Jamey — May 16, 2017 @ 2:05 am

  29. Incredible! This blog looks just like my old one!
    It’s on a totally different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!

    Comment by www.pkinc.biz — May 18, 2017 @ 8:11 am

  30. Hi everybody, here every one is sharing these experience, thus it’s pleasant to read this webpage, and I used to go to see this blog every day.

    Comment by http://teendatingsite.pw — May 20, 2017 @ 1:58 am

  31. Pretty! This was a really wonderful article. Thanks for supplying this info.

    Comment by large travel shoulder — May 20, 2017 @ 2:25 am

  32. Yes! Finally something about best sunglasses.

    Comment by www.connectabl.es — May 20, 2017 @ 7:44 pm

  33. Thanks for finally talking about > Breakup Girl » Getting him committed < Liked it!

    Comment by http://proline.physics.iisc.ernet.in/ — May 21, 2017 @ 12:10 am

  34. I’m now not certain the place you’re getting your info, but great topic.
    I must spend a while finding out much more or figuring
    out more. Thank you for excellent info I used to be on the
    lookout for this information for my mission.

    Comment by http://wme.lzu.edu.cn/geosite/mediawiki/index.php/Risks_Of_Hypertension_Hypertension_While_Fat_And_Diabetic — May 21, 2017 @ 7:05 am

  35. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate to this
    fantastic blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding
    your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this website with my Facebook group.
    Chat soon!

    Comment by Minna — May 21, 2017 @ 9:24 am

  36. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you so much,
    However I am having issues with your RSS. I don’t know why I am unable to subscribe to it.
    Is there anyone else getting the same RSS issues?
    Anybody who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanx!!

    Comment by Olivia — May 22, 2017 @ 9:03 am

  37. Good day! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering
    if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form?
    I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one?

    Thanks a lot!

    Comment by Kenneth — May 22, 2017 @ 12:41 pm

  38. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was
    great. I do not know who you are but certainly you’re going to a
    famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

    Comment by jszj.net — May 22, 2017 @ 8:32 pm

  39. You made some decent points there. I checked on the internet for more info about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this website.

    Comment by Natalie — May 23, 2017 @ 2:21 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress