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October 18, 2010

Ask Lynn on Yahoo: Why hasn’t he called?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:30 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. This new Ask Lynn column is being promoted at Match on Yahoo this week…

Curious (and Confused) Carrie complains of a boy she met online that went from flirtatious to flat within 24 hours:

We went on our first date this weekend … We ended the evening with a goodnight kiss (OK, three small ones) and things seemed to have gone so well. … I called him once and was sent to voice mail and have not heard from him since then.

How long should she wait to call again? (She thinks 72 hours.) Why has the stream of funny emails stopped? Is this about the meeting in IRL thing? See what Lynn thinks at Match, then come back here to give your own assessment in the comments below.

2 Comments »

  1. When it comes to romance, men tend to live in the moment. On a first date, I was always focused on having a good (fun, enjoyable) first date. Later, when I was alone, I would mentally review the date and make any future plans.

    The only exception were the times when I quickly decided that I *didn’t* want a second date. But in those cases, I wasn’t interested in being affectionate either.

    After three days with no reply, assume the answer is “No thanks,” and move on.

    I agree that you want to avoid building any kind of fantasy about what might happen in a relationship. When I’m on a first date, I’m completely relaxed. I’m doing my best to enjoy myself. What happens if she decides that she doesn’t like me? Nothing. It’s easy to relax when there’s nothing at stake.

    What happens if you build a fantasy? Suddenly you have something to lose. What happens if the man decides he doesn’t like you? That dream is destroyed. It’s harder to relax on the date when you have something to lose. The more time and emotion that you’ve invested into the fantasy, the harder it is to relax.

    Unless you’re at your best when you’re anxious and nervous, you want to avoid fantasizing.

    Comment by Karl R — October 18, 2010 @ 11:19 am

  2. don’t put all your eggs in one basket, if he’s not feeling it, he’s not feeling it. plain and simple. 😛 NEXT!

    Comment by karen — October 18, 2010 @ 12:29 pm

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