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January 30, 2009

Taking sides

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:34 am

Classic LetterBreaking up is hard on everybody, from January 19, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am a happily married woman (and no — I’m not asking for advice on how to change that situation). However, close friends of ours (a couple) had a nasty breakup earlier this fall. I was initially close friends with the woman, but my husband and I also became close to the man, think he’s a lot of fun and intend to continue our friendship with him. So far, nothing’s been a problem with this — we just don’t talk about his ex-girlfriend. Do I need to tell the woman that we are continuing our friendship with the man?

— Don’t Want to Be in the Middle

Dear Don’t Want to Be in the Middle,

Nah. Making a big We Think You Should Know proclamation makes the situation more serious than it need be. Since you’re writing out of sincere concern in the first place, you’re obviously not going to commit some gaffe like, say, inviting them both to the same Packers party. Other than that, their vibe is their business, not yours. And in fact, one of the nicer by-products of breakups, actually, are the other friendships that sometimes survive them.

Now, can you give the rest of us some advice on how to be a happily married woman?

Breakup Girl


  1. I don’t believe that it matters if the ex-girlfriend knows as long as you make it clear to her that “we want to be friends still and not cut either you off, nor him, however, we don’t want to be in the middle. We want to be supportive. And if you guys ever get back together and married,(great bogus excuse line that gets you out of friendship jail) we want to know that we did nothing to hurt either one of you. That lets you see either or both. It could still blow up, but everybody got the same disclaimer so grown people can’t yell in the cleanup aisle while holding the open jars of ketchup.

    Comment by Joshua — February 6, 2009 @ 8:30 am

  2. I am coming from a mans point of view. I married a woman 14 years younger than I who litterally had nothing. I gave her love, a home, 2 beutiful kids and college education. She got her 1st job, and within 3 month left me for a co-worker. She has came back 3 times in the last 6 months begging to come back

    It lasts 3 days and she is back with her boyfriend. The last time was a week ago, and today we signed divorce papers. My little girl told me they are getting married. I can’t express the pain, but do not someone treat you this way, God does have a plan for you. Try to go on and have faith in yourself.

    Comment by Chappy 1 — February 6, 2009 @ 1:24 pm

  3. When a woman marries young and has children young, although she may say she’s alright with losing out on all the fun stuff, but as her kids get older as does she, she begins to re-think…because as much as you’d like too, you can’t get your youth back, even though many try and thus marriages break-up and children get split their time between two the parent’s homes.

    Comment by mg — February 7, 2009 @ 3:02 am

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