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January 30, 2009

Taking sides

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:34 am

Classic LetterBreaking up is hard on everybody, from January 19, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am a happily married woman (and no — I’m not asking for advice on how to change that situation). However, close friends of ours (a couple) had a nasty breakup earlier this fall. I was initially close friends with the woman, but my husband and I also became close to the man, think he’s a lot of fun and intend to continue our friendship with him. So far, nothing’s been a problem with this — we just don’t talk about his ex-girlfriend. Do I need to tell the woman that we are continuing our friendship with the man?

— Don’t Want to Be in the Middle

Dear Don’t Want to Be in the Middle,

Nah. Making a big We Think You Should Know proclamation makes the situation more serious than it need be. Since you’re writing out of sincere concern in the first place, you’re obviously not going to commit some gaffe like, say, inviting them both to the same Packers party. Other than that, their vibe is their business, not yours. And in fact, one of the nicer by-products of breakups, actually, are the other friendships that sometimes survive them.

Now, can you give the rest of us some advice on how to be a happily married woman?

Breakup Girl


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