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January 18, 2011

What’s dating like when you have an STD?

Filed under: issues,Psychology — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:58 am

Writing at Salon.com, BG’s alterego talks to many brave women to find out. Of course, they shouldn’t have to be so “brave” in order to speak up, but what they speak about — the persistent stigma of STIs, especially for women, despite their breathtaking near-ubiquity — is exactly what otherwise keeps them quiet. (When one woman named Michele worked up the gumption to disclose to a potential partner, he said: “You seem like a very classy girl — I would never have imagined you having that.” Translation: “You slut.” And he was one of the polite ones.)

But! As it turns out, the vast majority of people interviewed in the story — even the expert doctor — wound up finding (a) community among others online, and/or (b) a happy relationship (with someone “sero-negative,” even). In other words, there is life — sex life, love life, LIFE life — after/with an STI. The morals:

1. Get yourself tested. And educated.

2. Use condoms.

3. Manners, people! You don’t know anything about how or why anyone got anything. Don’t judge. Don’t even snicker. You might even have something yourself and not know it. (See #1.)


  1. I have herpes and I am an engineer who works for the largest STD dating and support site STDslove. com. I have to tell you a secret, you can choose not to believe me. But the truth is that this site has more than 1,880,000 members and about 80% members are good looking in my estimation.

    Unfortunately, STD rates soar worldwide and most people with STDs don’t even know that they have them. The government should grant more money for STD education to lower the rates of STD transmission.

    Comment by alan — January 19, 2011 @ 11:01 am

  2. Alan, I TOTALLY believe you. And I agree with you. We definitely need more education, of the medical variety (i.e. get yourself tested even if you have no symptoms), and the “awareness” variety (removing the hurtful, harmful stigma associated with STIs). I know communities like the one you work for definitely help. Thanks for writing!

    Comment by BG — January 19, 2011 @ 3:35 pm

  3. Really good to know. I enjoy reading this article. Thanks for sharing your blog. More Power!!!


    Comment by Lorna Gales — January 20, 2011 @ 10:41 am

  4. Thanks, Lorna! Please keep visiting — and commenting!

    Comment by BG — January 20, 2011 @ 10:42 am

  5. It is difficult to find love or date with an STD. However, there is options. Recently, new dating websites have been poping up that help the STD community find love and romance.

    There was one I came across recently that seemed very interesting, called STD NSA. It is the Adult Friend Finder of the STD community.

    In my opinion, sites like this allows people with an STD to have a happy and healthy sex life again without being burdened by the negative stigma of an STD.

    Comment by James Wilson — December 21, 2013 @ 7:51 am

  6. Hey, I was just surfing through the net (One of my friend recently had Herpes)and stumpbled on this post. Good one…I will recommend this to my girl…:)

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