Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

May 20, 2011

Breakup by numbers

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:52 am

Counting the ways on July 6, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Just love your website!

I too have been recently inducted into the “jilted” club. My ex and I were together for over five years. I have a couple of questions for you.

1. What kind of guy asks you to relocate over 1,000 miles (to start a new life), does nothing with it when we get there (I did) and then three months into this new start decides he’s not happy and wants out and — here’s the kicker — has not been happy for over three years? Are his expectations too high? Is he looking for perfection? Is he chasing rainbows? Is he depressed?

2. So I left because I was not feeling loved, wanted, or needed. Did I leave in haste? How can I read the signs for the next relationship? To know when to quit?

3. He has corresponded a couple of times since I left him. He’s slightly off the mark with some of his comments/statements. Should I try to set him straight or just file the letters and forget I never knew him?

4. I recently asked him for money he owed me. He held back because of bills he said I left behind. The truth is, I had left some $$$ in our checking account. Should I try to recoup this money, or what?

5. He too will be moving back into the area soon. How do I handle this? Avoid him? or what?

6. Recently his parents emailed me. It wasn’t very pretty. They told me to get on with my life, that we are not family. I don’t know where they got off. It’s not like I was crying on their shoulders since I left. Should I email them back and tell them to have a nice life or just ignore them? They really hurt me.

I’m currently moving toward getting my life back together. I don’t cry so much any more, but I need closure on this relationship and the hurt he caused. Please help and thank you.

— The Sun Shines Brighter Every Day!

Dear Brighter,

Thanks! For the compliment, and for being so organized. Here we go:

1. See #6.

2. Hmmm, well, “not feeling loved, wanted, or needed” does sound like grounds for dismissal. Unless you have unreasonably lofty expectations in that department, which you know better than I. And about reading the signs: well, I can’t answer that in a vacuum. You give me a sign, we’ll talk about how to read it. But it sounds to me like you’re fairly literate on your own.

3. Do not bother. And either file, or forget. Not both.

4. If it’s not an astronomical sum, like what stands between you and food, then drop it. All too often, droppable sums of loaned money become pointless agony-prolongers.

5. Avoid him, but not to the point where sitcom shenanigans become required. If you see him, be (a) pleasant and civil, and then (b) on your merry way.

6. Do you promise that they emailed you out of the blue, that this missive was not prompted by any provocative communication on your part? If so, WHAT?!??!?! His parents emailed you???? I can see, after such a long relationship, a need to establish some sort of civil closure — at least, you know, formally acknowledge the end — with the folks. But unless you are hanging around the house, mooning over their son’s baby picture, asking them if you can still call them “Mom” and “Dad” as a gesture of good faith, etc. etc., — and unless I am missing something major — then his PARENTS have no business whatsoever emailing you. Good GRIEF. If I were their son, I would be mortified. Now, far be it from me to Blame the Parents (even though the Breakup Folks are in Europe and won’t be reading this for a while), but this little tidbit may shed some light on your first question. Now, I really don’t have quite enough data to know exactly “what kind of guy” would do what you describe, but I can extrapolate from this invasive, bounds-overstepping email incident (and admittedly, this is a big leap in the dark) that perhaps he has not been left on his own to make — and trust — his own decisions. Hence his restlessness and uncertainty. That’s the best I can do. Sounds like you’re doing your best, too.

Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which
    makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer
    to create your theme? Excellent work!

    Comment by br.linkedin.com — August 30, 2017 @ 12:23 am

  2. excellent publish, very informative. I wonder why the other
    experts of this sector don’t understand this. You should proceed your writing.
    I am confident, you’ve a huge readers’ base already!

    Comment by http://prototheism.wiki — September 6, 2017 @ 7:43 pm

  3. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an shakiness over
    that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot
    often inside case you shield this increase.

    Comment by getting education loans — September 7, 2017 @ 3:32 am

  4. Hi my friend! I want to say that this post is amazing, great written and include approximately all significant infos.

    I’d like to see extra posts like this .

    Comment by things you need to know about chuck norris — September 7, 2017 @ 3:59 am

  5. For most up-to-date news you have to pay a quick visit world-wide-web and on the web
    I found this website as a finest web site for latest updates.

    Comment by Halina — September 7, 2017 @ 8:06 pm

  6. Hi there, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and
    i was just curious if you get a lot of spam comments?
    If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you
    can suggest? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance
    is very much appreciated.

    Comment by start me up — September 7, 2017 @ 9:42 pm

  7. Wow, superb weblog layout! How lengthy have you been blogging for?
    you made running a blog glance easy. The entire look of your website is excellent, as smartly as
    the content!

    Comment by Antonia — September 8, 2017 @ 4:47 pm

  8. I’m really inspired together with your writing talents as neatly
    as with the structure to your blog. Is that this a paid topic or
    did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice high quality writing, it is
    uncommon to peer a great weblog like this one today..

    Comment by loansstore down — September 9, 2017 @ 1:41 pm

  9. My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of
    your post’s to be what precisely I’m looking for. Does one offer guest
    writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you write in relation to here.
    Again, awesome web site!

    Comment by https://pt.wikipedia.org/ — September 9, 2017 @ 5:29 pm

  10. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded
    this onto a friend who has been doing a little homework on this.
    And he actually bought me dinner simply because I stumbled upon it for him…
    lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending time to discuss this topic here
    on your website.

    Comment by interest rates — September 11, 2017 @ 4:21 am

  11. Tremendous issues here. I am very satisfied to see your article.
    Thanks so much and I am taking a look ahead to touch you.
    Will you please drop me a e-mail?

    Comment by real estate agents — September 13, 2017 @ 4:21 am

  12. We stumbled over here by a different website and thought I might as well check things out.
    I like what I see so now i am following you. Look
    forward to going over your web page for a second time.

    Comment by Georgianna — September 20, 2017 @ 11:50 am

  13. Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
    My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing
    a few months of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have
    any solutions to stop hackers?

    Comment by caribfyah.streamingfilz.net — September 20, 2017 @ 9:43 pm

  14. Hi! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering if you
    knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form?
    I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems
    finding one? Thanks a lot!

    Comment by Bettye — September 22, 2017 @ 5:06 am

  15. Link exchange is nothing else but it is only placing
    the other person’s web site link on your page at suitable place and
    other person will also do similar for you.

    Comment by Orval — September 24, 2017 @ 4:47 pm

  16. Fantastic post however I was wanting to know if you could write a
    litte more on this topic? I’d be very grateful if you
    could elaborate a little bit more. Appreciate it!

    Comment by dimensioneautobacoli.com — September 26, 2017 @ 6:23 pm

  17. I think this is among the so much significant information for
    me. And i’m glad studying your article. But should remark on few general
    issues, The site style is wonderful, the articles is truly
    nice : D. Good task, cheers

    Comment by www.facebook.com — September 29, 2017 @ 11:15 pm

  18. I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this website.
    I am hoping to view the same high-grade blog posts from you
    later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired
    me to get my own, personal blog now 😉

    Comment by asbestos wont — October 21, 2017 @ 6:03 pm

  19. Thanks for finally talking about > Breakup Girl » Breakup by numbers < Liked it!

    Comment by Carlos Eduardo Veiga — October 24, 2017 @ 8:40 pm

  20. Good web site you have here.. It’s difficult to find high quality
    writing like yours these days. I honestly appreciate individuals like you!
    Take care!!

    Comment by Luiz Fernando Monteiro Bittencourt — October 25, 2017 @ 10:03 am

  21. I am sure this post has touched all the internet people, its really really fastidious piece of writing on building up new weblog.

    Comment by Carlos Eduardo Veiga — October 26, 2017 @ 5:37 pm

  22. Learn about working at Active Tree Services.

    Comment by tree cutting services in atlanta ga — April 2, 2018 @ 11:56 pm

  23. Septic programs, sewer lines, septic providers.

    Comment by cesspool maintenance long island — April 18, 2018 @ 5:29 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress