e-mail to a friend in needThe rules of attraction
Keeping up appearances on June 22, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
If a guy is interested in you, the only thing that you can find wrong with him is his looks and on that basis you reject him, does that make you the most shallow person on Earth? Please reassure me that you have to be attracted to someone, or else it wouldn’t work…please?
– Worried
Dear Worried,
Yes, you have to be “attracted” to someone. Or at least feel the potential stirrings thereof. So answer me — and yourself — this: When you decided to take a pass, what, in essence, were your thoughts? Can you honestly say, in good conscience, that you rummaged through all of your hormones and neurons and other chemical apparati and came up with no gut-level attraction whatsoever? Or did you think, “Well, he’s not the biggest hottie in the world, I’m afraid of what people will think…” ? Breakup Girl honestly doesn’t know which it is. But you do.
Love,
Breakup Girl
So true and attraction is definitely not a choice. It’s something you just feel.
Got to agree with breakup girl, you’re the only one who knows the right answer. If you feel absolutely no sparks and you’ve given it a decent shot, then he’s probably not the guy for you. If the only reason you’re denying him is because of what people may think, you may have to dig deeper for the correct choice.
Comment by Nick — June 24, 2011 @ 2:12 pm