Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 512

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 527

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 534

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 570

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1244

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1442

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 431

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/query.php on line 61

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/theme.php on line 1109

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 31

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Http in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/http.php on line 61

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrFrontHelp::detect_bot() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1295

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrFrontHelp::detect_ban() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1296

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrBlgDB::check_ip_single() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/blg/helpers.php on line 90

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrBlgDB::check_ip_range() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/blg/helpers.php on line 92

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrBlgDB::check_ip_mask() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/blg/helpers.php on line 94

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1709

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1710

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1711

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1712

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1713

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1714
Breakup Girl » Happy Birthday to Ex 2
Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrFrontHelp::ie_opacity_fix() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1415
Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

July 14, 2011

Happy Birthday to Ex 2

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:21 am

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::get_caller_backtrace() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1826

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrBlgDB::add_new_view() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1837

Strict Standards: Non-static method GDSRDatabase::get_post_data() should not be called statically in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/cache.php on line 107

Another celebration on July 20, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I broke up with my girlfriend almost 3 months ago. The breakup had been building, I was tired of trying to fight through all the intimacy issues that she and I both had. I felt I couldn’t go it alone so I suggested counseling for us. That request was met with an emphatic “NO” from her. I felt like there was no other choice but to break up. Unlike other breakups I’ve had, this one was distinctly non-emotional — no tears, no calling back just to “hear your voice”, no heartfelt attempts at reconciliation. Just silence. And it’s been that way for three months. Two weeks ago it was her birthday. I decided to send a card, just to show that I didn’t hate her and that I do have some class. I didn’t get a response. All I wanted was a simple acknowledgement/thank you. So now I’m pissed. I still have some things of hers, and I’m wondering, should I send them? Or keep them and continue the road to recovery? I really want to be civil, but I’m angry, so I thought of including with the package a note letting her know how completely classless I think she is.

– Dane

Dear Dane,

Now do you see the point I was making to Wondering (about expecting a particular response, not about Ziggy)?

Yes, it definitely would have been super nice to get a simple response. And yes, in the world of non-breakup etiquette, it is tacky not to acknowledge a well-meaning missive. And yes, even in the world of breakup etiquette, it is tacky — though understandable — not to acknowledge a well-meaning missive. Understandable? Yes. Because — especially since you two haven’t been in touch — you don’t know what her breakup healing m.o. has been. She may still have (need, even) a communication moratorium, for any number of reasons. Maybe she’s too sad to go there? To mad, still, to go there without saying something she’ll regret? She may also be, yes, just plain tacky. Who knows?

But it is your motive, not hers, that is actually at issue here. Your misstep was not sending the card; it was what you slipped into the envelope: that big yellow stickie saying SEE, I AM A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU ARE. That, and not pure good reconciliatory will, was what sent you to the post office. The Classy Avenger would have asked you to check your attitude.

So if you would like to return your ex’s stuff, fine. With a note that says, “Hope you had a great birthday. I’m sending this because it’s just easier for me not to have it around — I’m sure you understand. Would be delighted to hear from you, if /when you feel like it.” That’s the classy thing to do.

Love,
Breakup Girl


Strict Standards: Non-static method GDSRDBCache::get_comments() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1962

2 Comments »

  1. If she isn’t complaining about you having her stuff, then why do you really have an urge to spend the energy sending it back? Are you sure it isn’t another excuse to keep the drama alive? If you really need it gone for your own peace of mind and can get it to her without any ulterior motive, then fine. But otherwise, I don’t see any good reason to go out of your way. These periods after breakups are dangerous because intentions get mixed up even in our own heads. We convince ourselves we’re acting for one reason when really it’s an excuse to keep the enticing drama going.

    Comment by Breakup Advice Blog — July 14, 2011 @ 3:05 pm

  2. Agreed! Thanks for reading/posting!

    Comment by BG — July 15, 2011 @ 12:19 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class sk2_plugin in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugin_class.php on line 45

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_captcha_plugin::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_captcha_plugin.php on line 70

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_pjw_simpledigest::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_pjw_daily_digest_plugin.php on line 277

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_rbl_plugin::treat_this() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::treat_this(&$cmt_object) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_rbl_plugin.php on line 342

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_referrer_check_plugin::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_referrer_check_plugin.php on line 78
[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress