Dear Breakup Girl,
Is it true? Do guys inherently need to behave like imbeciles from time to time? I have been dating a guy for a month now; he’s 38, I am 25. The age difference is not the problem; he frequently attests to the fact that emotionally I am still light years ahead of him and, sadly, this is true. Regardless, we met through a mutual friend and have been dating steadily since. Daily phone calls, a few lunches and at least two movie/dinners a week plus weekends doing outdoorsy things together. Early dating bliss.
This weekend, however, he bought a new motorized water toy of some sort and took off with “the boys” for the weekend to test it out EVEN THOUGH he said he would call me and we would go out Saturday night. As I type, it is Sunday evening and I have not heard WORD ONE from him; he’d better hope he is lying in the hospital with a broken something or other or I am going to break it for him when I do hear from him.
Why on earth do they do this? I thought I was out of the red zone by dating a guy who was going through fraternity rush when I was in kindergarten, but apparently the problem is endemic and some men are simply resigned to the fact that they must take off from time to time like a pack of dogs chasing after cars they have no intention of driving.
– The Real McBeal
Eeaaaaasy, Ally. If he said he would call, then yeah, he probably should have called. BUT. Assuming he and his buds are not out there lipsynching to The Go-Go’s “Vacation” video, it is no more GUY behavior to take a weekend at sea with the boys than it is GIRL behavior to get all huffy about it. And to thus rush to judgment about men as a gender. And I do mean rush: it’s been a month. No time for his behavior to become a pattern. Or yours. Don’t let it.
This advice was originally published on August 3, 1998…