Dear Breakup Girl,
I started dating at a very young age (14 years old). My parents let me date this guy whose name is Jesse. We went together for a year and a half. We went through this little stage in which we would break up, then change our minds so on and so forth. Well we have been officially split for about 2 months. My best guy friend Chris is one of Jesse’s friends so of course I hear about him often, even though Chris doesn’t talk a lot about Jesse (he knows that it hurts me). Well recently I was shopping with my friend Christine and I saw Jesse at the mall with one of his guy friends. It had been a long time since I had seen him and it was good and bad all at the same time. We didn’t know how to act since we were there together, but not really together (you know what I mean). So me and my friend were going to leave because she knew I felt awkward around him, but he said he wanted a hug before I left. I was wrong when I thought that would be okay. Of course those sparks started flying. He told me how much he missed me and all of those lines that make a girl happy. Well Jesse decided to go and talk to my father, who happens to be a big man, and ask him if Jesse and I could go out soon. (My family does not like him.) Well my 16th birthday party was coming up the following weekend and my dad agreed on my behalf that Jesse and I could go out after my party. Well here I am thinking this is great. All of a sudden he doesn’t like to call as much. He met someone else in those moments of time before he could see me. He still calls every once in a while. At one time I was his everything. Now I am nothing. There is so much more to this story, but should I just say forget him and move on. He still gives me hope at times, and then turns it away. I love him and I guess that is why it hurts so bad! HELP!!!!
If Jesse was willing to lay it on the line with your big scary disapproving dad, then, well, yeah: you’d think that you were about to be upgraded to his “everything” again. But my hunch is that he was running on leftover sparks from that mall-hug — sparks that since then, for whatever heinous awful painful no-good very-bad reason, have gone out. In terms of giving you hope, I think he is just trying to be nice. Which is … nice. But not a sign. Still, at least it indicates that you are not nothing to him. You are someone he still cares about, at very least — and with so many other nightmare breakups going on around us, hey, that’s something.
This advice was originally published on August 3, 1998…