Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

September 1, 2011

Confused at 15

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:00 am

Needing to talk on August 10, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

First of all, I am only 15. Which might make my problem less significant, but I am going to go ahead and tell you anyway.

My boyfriend of 6 months (who is 17 years old) just broke up with me. Needless to say, my heart is shattered. The fact that he proposed to me makes it even worse. I think he broke up with me because other things became more important. I don’t know what to do. Shortly after we broke up I discovered that I was pregnant. I miscarried. But now I can’t seem to get in touch with him. My question is, should I tell him that I was pregnant? Also when I saw him one day shortly after the breakup he told me he still loved me but he wanted to wait till I turned sixteen before we got back together. I think that is an influence from his Mom. The thing is I still love him so much. I have had offers from other guys but I feel if I go out with some one else I am betraying him in some odd way. Why? I am so confused. I want to contact him but is it wrong to make contact with him before he even tries to get in touch with me? I feel like I can’t put this whole thing to rest unless I discuss my feelings with him in private. We haven’t had a discussion more than 5 minutes long in the whole time since we broke up.

I hope I didn’t confuse you too bad, Breakup Girl. Please help me!

— Confused

Dear Confused,

Your problem is TOTALLY significant.

First of all, is your health okay? I assume you saw a doctor to make sure that your body is recovering okay from the miscarriage — about which I am terribly sorry. But on the off chance that you didn’t, and if you can’t tell an adult in your family, please check with a guidance counselor to find a clinic that you can visit. If this is a problem write to me and we’ll find something.

So yeah, as long as a doctor was aware of your pregnancy — and I’m really hoping a supportive friend or two were aware as well — I don’t see any reason for your ex-boyfriend to be. Not at this time, anyway. I’m not saying you should willfully conspire to hide things from him — things that are, arguably, his business. But for now, it’s for your own good. You feel awful enough already … let’s say you tell him, and you don’t get the kind, concerned, caring response you’d really like — well, you’ll feel even worse. If you rebuild a friendship, then someday, yeah, you could fill him in.

Still, it seems that there are plenty of other things you’ve not had the chance to share with him. I’d say write ’em down and mail them. Nice things, not mean things. Statements about how YOU feel, not questions or demands of him (such as “When are you coming back?”). I don’t really buy the 16-years-old thing (neither do you). So don’t count on a reunion, or even a response. But getting those feelings out might help the letting-go process.

As might dating other people — but I agree that you’re not ready yet. The breakup just happened — and you’ve gone through two big losses. Let me insist, though, that you are not betraying him if/when you do see someone else. It just feels like you are right now because, whether he is or not, you’re still attached. That bond will loosen up over time, I promise; it just doesn’t feel like that now. Especially if you work on tightening your ties with people — family, friends, superheroes — who know just how significant you truly are.

Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. No kidding. Occasionally, I’m guilty of retweeting something that I think looks good only to read it later and see that it was dumb.That’s definitely a bonus rule worth following.

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 4:29 am

  2. «Cantaram o hino? oh oh…é como na selecção (futebol)hino,bandeiras, apitos, bebedeiras de orgulho nacional.»O míope de um blogue moçambicano não deu por isso: hino em eleições, ele esperneia; se for na bola, embebeda-seÉ uma alegria

    Comment by http://heliplanex.com/texas-rental-car-insurance.html — July 17, 2016 @ 6:05 am

  3. kelly I have a client who doesn’t want to use their personal page to import contacts to their business page (he hates FB for personal use but wants a biz page, unfortunately you can’t have one without the other – lame i think). BUt everytime I try to import his contacts I have to switch to his personal account to send. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    Comment by http://heliplanex.com/employer-asking-for-auto-insurance.html — July 17, 2016 @ 7:54 am

  4. mrs. capitalist! i love the posting and thanks for bringing this perspective. so… next time i’m wooing a candidate, i’ll be sure to find out about wifey, or hubs, or life-long partner, and send chocolates, flowers, baseball tix or whatever he/she fancies to help to seal the deal.michael haberman brings up a good point about the post-move period for relo candidates though… someone could probably do a posting on this and talk about best practices… i’d like to see something on that…

    Comment by http://lasmangist.com/home-and-auto-insurance-citifinancial.html — July 17, 2016 @ 8:49 am

  5. besides the mouse only clicking, not having buttons, the close window is on the other side and the different way to access programs, it is not that much different. control-alt-delete does not exist.i’ve worked with both. the programs go by different names (appleworks for word/works) but it’s not terrible. i’m 45 and use both…can’t be that hard…

    Comment by http://www.oweninsuragency.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 11:03 am

  6. I’m not worthy to be in the same forum. ROTFL

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 11:42 am

  7. / Howard the Duck,Telling other people how to live their life. It is their life after all. Typical liberal who thinks he knows whats best for everyone else. I have earned the right to do what ever the helll I want to do as long as I dont "infring" on anyone else or break any laws. You left nut jobs feel that your way is the only way.

    Comment by http://www.oweninsuragency.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 12:08 pm

  8. The point is, if you were Palestinian, the detailed history of the land would be irrelevant. What would be relevant to you would be the fact that your land was taken by military force, leaving you with shit.

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 12:11 pm

  9. Dorn:Sieht nach aktueller Lage gut aus für Drakkar Lake. @Bahamut:Ja, die Serverwahl ist für das WvsWvsW entscheidend, im PvE kann man serverübergreifend mit Freunden spielen. Da wir aber dennoch einige PvP-affine Spieler bei uns haben, sollte man die Serverwahl dennoch nicht ganz hinten anstellen.

    Comment by http://www.oweninsuragency.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 1:10 pm

  10. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% positive. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks

    Comment by http://www.heliplanex.com/ — July 17, 2016 @ 1:47 pm

  11. Extremely helpful article, please write more.

    Comment by http://atravelmedicalinsurance.com/sr22-insurance-idaho.html — July 17, 2016 @ 2:49 pm

  12. …ich laufe natürlich auch ) …heute lockere 16,5 km in 1.38 h. Trocken wars sogar, sodass ich hätte radeln können, aber ich brauche meine laufkilometer für das aprilevent Ich verwalte übrigens meine läufe bei jogmap.de, andreas…gruß uli

    Comment by http://oconnor2015.com/cheap-nfl-jerseys-no-insurance.html — July 17, 2016 @ 4:19 pm

  13. You’re the greatest! JMHO

    Comment by http://oconnor2015.com/cis-car-insurance-free-number.html — July 17, 2016 @ 4:32 pm

  14. Una bonita compra para regalar, enmarcadas eso si, que no creo que sea muy "ponible".P.S.: Yo dicendo ponible, donde vamos a llegar.

    Comment by http://emunahysrael.com/fiesta-auto-insurance-nicholasville-ky.html — July 17, 2016 @ 6:37 pm

  15. magnificent web site…Amaze! The next might turn out to be one sure that’s advantageous blogs along with forums We possess perhaps appear through applying this particular make the variation. Truly Outstanding. I’m because nicely a specialist in this particular matter ther…

    Comment by http://affordablewarranty.com/best-auto-insurance-coverage-options.html — July 17, 2016 @ 7:28 pm

  16. Calling all cars, calling all cars, we’re ready to make a deal.

    Comment by http://emunahysrael.com/look-car-insurance-warren-mi.html — July 17, 2016 @ 8:48 pm

  17. Haha… "if I love lamb." You don't even have to ask that :) This looks awesome, and very useful since my butcher so rarely has lamb sausage! Now I can make it on my own! Yippee!!

    Comment by http://affordablewarranty.com/madison-wi-insurance-companies.html — July 17, 2016 @ 8:51 pm

  18. sep14Vanessa Es lamentable esta negociación o casi negociación. Por mi parte estoy totalmente desilucionada pero no específicamente del sindicato sino de mis compañeros ya que nunca se peleo lo que merecemos con convicción siempre estuvo el comentario desalentador y mala onda que pena por ellos. Por mi parte si hubiese existido la unión sindical hubiéramos conseguido esto y mucho mas. Hubo huelga o fue un recreo…… Este acontecimiento quedara en el recuerdo ( mmmm burla) de muchos. Que poco sindicales fuimos cero peso.

    Comment by http://oconnor2015.com/the-standard-insurance-portland-oregon.html — July 17, 2016 @ 8:57 pm

  19. Bà, che esserino meschino. :PE che cattivo gusto.Che umorismo di bassa lega… il peggio è che tanti compatrioti lo giustificano in tutto, a questo qua.Magari il mio panettiere… magari il mio commercialista, il vigile urbano all’incrocio, la tipa allo sportello delle poste…Chi l’ha votato dovrebbe avere un’aura tipo quella dell’AIDS… ^_^

    Comment by http://affordablewarranty.com/what-is-the-cheapest-car-insurance-in-ontario.html — July 17, 2016 @ 9:20 pm

  20. The very next time I read a blog, I hope that it won’t fail me just as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read, nonetheless I truly thought you would have something helpful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something you could fix if you weren’t too busy looking for attention.

    Comment by http://oconnor2015.com/car-insurance-to-recover-impounded-vehicle.html — July 17, 2016 @ 10:14 pm

  21. 1968 first year of teaching in Center City MN. Full time teaching plus five extra-curricular paid positions equaled $5875. I do remember that one of my friends started at IBM for just under $10,000 the year before that.

    Comment by http://atravelmedicalinsurance.com/insurance-in-nyc.html — July 17, 2016 @ 10:19 pm

  22. Fabulous review! The bed wedge is something that I could use. It feels like I lose everything down the back of my bed. Particularly my PJs that I store under my pillow.

    Comment by http://atravelmedicalinsurance.com/collector-car-insurance-in-florida.html — July 17, 2016 @ 10:52 pm

  23. cico exista din plin. nu mai exista schopenhauer in schimb. astept sa se mai nasca o data.PS: cum nu pot scrie singur numele lui am vrut sa dau copy paste cu mausul si surpriza… cica pozele tale sunt copyrighted. din pacate, pt tine doar, exista un plugin dragut care dezactiveaza acel micut script sic!

    Comment by http://affordablewarranty.com/do-i-need-personal-injury-cover-on-my-car-insurance.html — July 17, 2016 @ 11:12 pm

  24. Hey hey hey, take a gander at what’ you’ve done

    Comment by http://emunahysrael.com/philadelphia-car-insurance.html — July 18, 2016 @ 5:44 am

  25. *The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

    Comment by http://riodelrey.com/auto-insurance-uptown.html — July 18, 2016 @ 6:57 am

  26. Exercise is a great natural way to improve ones quality of mood! There’s a tremendous amount of research which substantiates its effectiveness for treating depressive symptoms, in particular. Great article!

    Comment by http://emunahysrael.com/earthquake-insurance-oregon.html — July 18, 2016 @ 7:09 am

  27. MY happiness is back to me after a very long time which i an
    my ex separated since i was alone my life change
    every thing about me change a friend of mine gave
    me an email address and told me that this was the
    email address she contacted when she was in the
    same problem so i contacted the email i got a reply he
    ask me to send him my number so i did he was a man
    call Grate Olili he casted a spell for me and told me that
    within two day that my ex we be back for good within
    that two days my ex was back, i and my ex are getting
    married. next mouth, you contact him at

    Comment by mona — July 18, 2016 @ 3:17 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress