Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

September 1, 2011

Confused at 15

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:00 am

Needing to talk on August 10, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

First of all, I am only 15. Which might make my problem less significant, but I am going to go ahead and tell you anyway.

My boyfriend of 6 months (who is 17 years old) just broke up with me. Needless to say, my heart is shattered. The fact that he proposed to me makes it even worse. I think he broke up with me because other things became more important. I don’t know what to do. Shortly after we broke up I discovered that I was pregnant. I miscarried. But now I can’t seem to get in touch with him. My question is, should I tell him that I was pregnant? Also when I saw him one day shortly after the breakup he told me he still loved me but he wanted to wait till I turned sixteen before we got back together. I think that is an influence from his Mom. The thing is I still love him so much. I have had offers from other guys but I feel if I go out with some one else I am betraying him in some odd way. Why? I am so confused. I want to contact him but is it wrong to make contact with him before he even tries to get in touch with me? I feel like I can’t put this whole thing to rest unless I discuss my feelings with him in private. We haven’t had a discussion more than 5 minutes long in the whole time since we broke up.

I hope I didn’t confuse you too bad, Breakup Girl. Please help me!

— Confused


Dear Confused,

Your problem is TOTALLY significant.

First of all, is your health okay? I assume you saw a doctor to make sure that your body is recovering okay from the miscarriage — about which I am terribly sorry. But on the off chance that you didn’t, and if you can’t tell an adult in your family, please check with a guidance counselor to find a clinic that you can visit. If this is a problem write to me and we’ll find something.

So yeah, as long as a doctor was aware of your pregnancy — and I’m really hoping a supportive friend or two were aware as well — I don’t see any reason for your ex-boyfriend to be. Not at this time, anyway. I’m not saying you should willfully conspire to hide things from him — things that are, arguably, his business. But for now, it’s for your own good. You feel awful enough already … let’s say you tell him, and you don’t get the kind, concerned, caring response you’d really like — well, you’ll feel even worse. If you rebuild a friendship, then someday, yeah, you could fill him in.

Still, it seems that there are plenty of other things you’ve not had the chance to share with him. I’d say write ’em down and mail them. Nice things, not mean things. Statements about how YOU feel, not questions or demands of him (such as “When are you coming back?”). I don’t really buy the 16-years-old thing (neither do you). So don’t count on a reunion, or even a response. But getting those feelings out might help the letting-go process.

As might dating other people — but I agree that you’re not ready yet. The breakup just happened — and you’ve gone through two big losses. Let me insist, though, that you are not betraying him if/when you do see someone else. It just feels like you are right now because, whether he is or not, you’re still attached. That bond will loosen up over time, I promise; it just doesn’t feel like that now. Especially if you work on tightening your ties with people — family, friends, superheroes — who know just how significant you truly are.

Love,
Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. Today, with all the fast chosen lifestyle that everyone is having, credit cards have a big demand throughout the economy. Persons throughout every area of life are using the credit card and people who not using the card have arranged to apply for just one. Thanks for spreading your ideas about credit cards.

    Comment by http://destinedfg.com/florida-car-hire-cdw-insurance.html — September 24, 2016 @ 1:46 pm

  2. I'm a graduate of Debbie's Newbie party. My fingers are crossed that you will post this at Sunday's Best party going on now. SO many are so unaware of this. I guess it needs to be done in the old version, and mention this. All of us who comment thank you for this. PS now following you on Linky!!!!!

    Comment by http://adoradoslegacy.com/quotes-from-the-south.html — September 24, 2016 @ 2:04 pm

  3. Don't refer to your wife as a Cougar.I think he meant the Mercury Cougar.September 5, 2011 1:22 PMI hope for MM's sake that Lady Moldbug got the joke and didn't reach for the rolling pin after reading those "Cougar references"…

    Comment by http://adoradoslegacy.com/smart-phone-insurance.html — September 24, 2016 @ 2:41 pm

  4. These numbers are fairly useless without any information about location, and they’re completely useless without information about whether they’re based on employees with full benefits, consultants with some benefits, or independent contractors with no benefits. Things like paid leave, employer paid health insurance, and employer retirement account contributions can add up to quite a bit.

    Comment by http://jummum-nyc.com/car-insurance-companies-in-corbin-ky.html — September 24, 2016 @ 3:01 pm

  5. Great new feature, but please prioritize to include site speed as a metric that can be used in segments and for comparison in other reports.Do you have any sort of ETA on the above?

    Comment by safe auto login — September 24, 2016 @ 3:06 pm

  6. There’s also a free mixtape he put out recently called “The Leftovers Unmixed Tape” which is worth having, plus he’s also a member of Slum Village – their last two LPs (“Slum Village” [2005] & “Villa Manifesto” [2010]) are their best IMO…and Elzhi tears a new arsehole in every track he cameos on, he’s got a verse on the new Black Milk LP and the track “Glow” from Jake One’s “White Van Music” LP is amazing too.

    Comment by auto insurance brand awareness — September 24, 2016 @ 3:42 pm

  7. I really couldn’t ask for more from this article.

    Comment by is it possible for a car to have two insurance policies — September 24, 2016 @ 3:56 pm

  8. when it comes to windshields, just get a reputable place with a warranty….. the honda dealer is NOT going to be installing the window anyway… they will have a glass place do it….. I promise you that dealers do not have a tech nor the inventory to do glass…. everything is sent out or a mobile service comes to the dealer.

    Comment by list of auto insurances in Germantown MD — September 24, 2016 @ 10:09 pm

  9. Late to this party but I’m loving the Mackinac Island pictures, and the petroglyphs are wonderful (although I’d need a few slugs of that Vodka to have the guts to go out there. And by that point I’d be too drunk to chance it!)

    Comment by car insurance — September 25, 2016 @ 2:33 am

  10. Importing and exporting has turned into a dangerous business with sites such as dhgate being flooded with scheisters taking good people’s bank accounts and never being heard from again. When web surfers begin looking into wholesale, they’re often the first source of information found. Great read though.

    Comment by cheap car insurance fl — September 25, 2016 @ 3:21 am

  11. Now I’m like, well duh! Truly thankful for your help.

    Comment by low income car insurance dmv Conroe TX — September 25, 2016 @ 4:55 am

  12. Thanks very much for your wonderful blog;this is the stuff that keeps me awake through my day. I have been searching around for your site after being referred to them from a buddy and was pleased when I found it after searching for some time. Being a demanding blogger, I’m happy to see others taking initivative and contributing to the community. I just wanted to comment to show my approval for your page as it is very enticing, and many bloggers do not get authorization they deserve. I am sure I’ll drop by again and will recommend to my friends.

    Comment by free auto insurance quotes NY — September 25, 2016 @ 5:57 am

  13. Actually I think Greg's got a point – you should sell your creations at his cafe….shouldn't keep good things to yourself only. This one would be a winner!!

    Comment by full coverage auto insurance Longmont CO — September 25, 2016 @ 6:16 am

  14. I’ve recently started a web site, the info you offer on this web site has helped me greatly. Thanks for all of your time & work. “My dear and old country, here we are once again together faced with a heavy trial.” by Charles De Gaulle.

    Comment by cheap auto insurance Newburgh NY — September 25, 2016 @ 8:43 am

  15. The tween costumes are the scariest to me. A lot of them show leggings in their photos, but the leggings don’t come with the costume, soooooo yeah… when they put them on on Halloween night… Pretty bad.

    Comment by car insurance — September 25, 2016 @ 8:58 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress