Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

September 15, 2011

Would love to settle down — yet I’m dating a musician

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:05 am

Disharmony from August 17, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

You rule… I discovered the site lo these many months ago, and can’t start the week without checking in. But now it’s time for me to receive the royal scepter bonk on the head, if you will, or perhaps the superheroine firm but kindly lasso round my constricted brain. Briefly (I swear!): Years of relationships lasting eight months or less. Frankly, I’m tired of it. It’s not that I want to get married per se, but I would like to find someone to, in a way, share the driving duties with me on the road of life. I’m very independent, sassy and all that, and I’m generally happy with my life and most everything is swell or at least manageable–except for this itty bitty absense of a partner. It doesn’t help that I’m in my mid-thirties and most of my friends have already hooked up with long-term squeezes, husbands, and all that, so there are increasingly fewer babes to play with out on the town.

Anyhow, I met this man in a band I was in…it was supposed to be a one- or two-shot deal, a couple of gigs and then b’bye but the music scene here is such that we kept running into each other after *ha* the gig was up. Then, we’re in another short-term band! Hoorah! So, more music, more hanging out. After one of these practices, we go to a party together, and I end up spending the night, and I’m happy, it all seems passionate and mutual and all manners of goodness.

The goodness continues for weeks, until he returns from a trip to the west coast, and is distant. We are still hanging out, still having fun, but there’s this odd wall there now. He tells me he’s moving to the west coast come January; I say OK, why don’t we just see what happens beforehand? He tells me he doesn’t think bandmates should date, it’s always Fleetwood Mac redux and I say oh, like Gloria and Emilio Estefan, or John Spencer and his wife in Boss Hogg? Again, why don’t we just see?

Ok, so this is longer than I intended…

THEN, the night of the gig, he tells me that there’s this other woman he’s “emotionally” involved with, but she’s moving to Italy soon. Oy!!! “I need space,” he says. I think, “I’ll say!” but say instead, “Call me if you want, but I’m not waiting.” And I elegantly stomp to my car before bursting into tears.

That was two weeks ago. He called me this past Wednesday, we chatted for an hour on Thursday and he seemed wound tighter than a clockspring… we were supposed to get together this weekend, but he overslept, I went out, etc. Clearly something is percolating in his mind and I suppose the best course of action would be to see what that is.

I guess my real question to you is, how can I prevent myself from going STARK RAVING MAD while these things play themselves out???? I’m been exercising (exorcising?) like Richard Simmons on speed (picture that if you dare), riding my bike into downtown traffic, yoga, taking long drives, reading, writing, of course playing music, and let’s not forget boring my friends and writing BG overly long missives. I appreciate, in theory, the ups and downs, the complexities of romance, but in practice I feel like I’m gonna hurl (emotional) chunks. Thank you, your SuperHeroineNess.

— The Heart is a Lonely Hunter


Dear Hunter,

Mad props, first of all, on your most excellent characterization of 30-something single angst. The “The women’s movement is wack” people — and the people who love them — are far too quick to say, “See, women SAY they’re independent and all that, but they really just want to get married.” Hello, why does this have to be a contradiction in terms? How come when men want to get married, they’re settling down, but when women do, they’re giving in? Couldn’t it be about partnership? Couldn’t it be that we think we’re hot enough sh*t to share, thank you very much? “Share the driving duties.” That is so good. And a little less flip than Breakup Girl’s usual quip: “I don’t ‘need a man,’ I need an assistant.”

That said, I will take issue with you on this: that, as you suggest, the best course of action would be to see what is percolating. Nah. Hunter, I’m not getting that this guy is going to come through for you. I mean, basically, the only reason I didn’t send you straight to the Breakup List and leave it at that is that I wanted to print the full text of your thoughtful, funny, so-true letter. Keep up the biking, yog-ing, driving, writing, etc. Keep down the chunks. If you are ready to hunker down and get serious, this one’s not worth it. Your social/work circles will spin you around to someone else.

Then again, if you do think any sort of BG intervention in Italy might help, I could make some calls.

Love,
Breakup Girl

No Comments »

  1. I’m amazed, I have to admit. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and interesting, and
    without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The
    issue is something which not enough people are speaking intelligently about.
    I’m very happy I came across this in my search for something regarding this.

    Comment by Erika — July 5, 2017 @ 1:27 pm

  2. Interesting blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it
    from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog jump out.
    Please let me know where you got your design. Bless you

    Comment by cat health — July 5, 2017 @ 8:44 pm

  3. We’re a group of volunteers and opening a brand new
    scheme in our community. Your site provided us with valuable info to work on. You’ve performed
    an impressive process and our entire group will likely be thankful to you.

    Comment by james frazer mann — July 7, 2017 @ 3:33 am

  4. Hi there, I enjoy reading through your post. I like to write
    a little comment to support you.

    Comment by Ariane Slinger — July 7, 2017 @ 3:35 am

  5. It’s hard to find well-informed people on this subject, however, you seem like you know what you’re talking about!
    Thanks

    Comment by car computer exchange — July 10, 2017 @ 7:36 pm

  6. コピーモンクレール専門店
    当サイトはモンクレール全品(新品/ブランドコピー品)を
    販売しているの専業通販店舗です。
    主にモンクレールダウン、モンクレール ダウンジャケット、
    ダウンコート、ダウンベスト、モンクレールメンズ、
    モンクレールレディースを取り扱っています。
    ブランドコピー代引き http://www.giginza.com

    Comment by ブランドコピー代引き — July 12, 2017 @ 2:41 am

  7. I’m not sure exactly why but this weblog is loading incredibly slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end?
    I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — July 13, 2017 @ 3:02 pm

  8. Have you ever thought about creating an e-book or guest authoring on other websites?
    I have a blog centered on the same ideas you discuss and
    would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my
    readers would appreciate your work. If you are even remotely
    interested, feel free to send me an e-mail.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — July 14, 2017 @ 3:08 pm

  9. My coder is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the
    expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a number of websites for
    about a year and am concerned about switching to another platform.
    I have heard great things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it?
    Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    Comment by http://nssu-tomoyoro.com/ — July 14, 2017 @ 6:31 pm

  10. I used to be able to find good advice from your content.

    Comment by Tyree — July 14, 2017 @ 8:56 pm

  11. It’s truly very difficult in this busy life to listen news on Television, so I only use
    world wide web for that purpose, and get the latest information.

    Comment by Tawanna — July 15, 2017 @ 12:15 am

  12. Link exchange is nothing else however it is just placing the other person’s website link
    on your page at proper place and other person will also do similar in support
    of you.

    Comment by Dante — July 15, 2017 @ 7:11 pm

  13. Excellent blog here! Also your site loads up very fast!
    What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?

    I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

    Comment by Sybil — July 17, 2017 @ 6:28 am

  14. This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger.
    I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of
    your wonderful post. Also, I have shared your site in my social
    networks!

    Comment by Arletha — July 17, 2017 @ 11:28 am

  15. Somebody necessarily lend a hand to make critically posts I’d state.
    That is the first time I frequented your website page and so far?
    I surprised with the research you made to make this actual publish incredible.
    Great task!

    Comment by Luiz Gastao Bittencourt da Silva — July 18, 2017 @ 1:53 pm

  16. My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for.
    Would you offer guest writers to write content available for
    you? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you
    write with regards to here. Again, awesome website!

    Comment by switzerland travel — July 18, 2017 @ 9:44 pm

  17. It’s very effortless to find out any topic on web as compared to textbooks, as I found this
    post at this site.

    Comment by Mauro Luiz Soares Zamprogno — July 20, 2017 @ 3:25 pm

  18. We stumbled over here by a different page and thought I might as well
    check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you.
    Look forward to looking into your web page again.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro — July 21, 2017 @ 9:11 am

  19. Hi there everybody, here every person is sharing such know-how, therefore
    it’s good to read this webpage, and I used to go to
    see this web site all the time.

    Comment by http://www.fecomercio-ce.org.br/site/perfil-do-presidente — July 21, 2017 @ 12:48 pm

  20. Hi there friends, its fantastic piece of writing concerning teachingand completely defined, keep it up all the
    time.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro — July 21, 2017 @ 8:25 pm

  21. Hi, this weekend is nice for me, as this
    point in time i am reading this fantastic educational
    article here at my residence.

    Comment by www.youtube.com — July 22, 2017 @ 7:55 am

  22. Its not my first time to visit this web page, i am visiting this web
    site dailly and take nice facts from here daily.

    Comment by pt.wikipedia.org — July 24, 2017 @ 12:38 pm

  23. No matter if some one searches for his vital thing, so he/she needs to be available that in detail, therefore that thing
    is maintained over here.

    Comment by Georges Sadala — July 24, 2017 @ 4:32 pm

  24. Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo
    News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Many thanks

    Comment by Georges Sadala Rihan — July 25, 2017 @ 12:06 am

  25. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following.
    unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.

    Comment by Georges Sadala Rihan — July 25, 2017 @ 5:42 pm

  26. Asking questions are actually pleasant thing if you are not understanding something entirely, but this
    piece of writing presents fastidious understanding even.

    Comment by www.yizhanqc.com — July 26, 2017 @ 4:22 am

  27. you are truly a excellent webmaster. The site loading
    speed is amazing. It seems that you’re doing any unique trick.

    Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you’ve performed a excellent process in this matter!

    Comment by Glam Seamless Reviews — July 26, 2017 @ 7:18 pm

  28. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this write-up plus the rest of the website is also really good.

    Comment by Josefa — July 27, 2017 @ 11:48 pm

  29. I do accept as true with all the ideas you’ve offered to
    your post. They’re very convincing and can definitely work.
    Nonetheless, the posts are too short for novices. May just you please extend them a bit
    from next time? Thanks for the post.

    Comment by Georges Sadala — July 28, 2017 @ 3:44 am

  30. Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you
    know a few of the pictures aren’t loading properly.

    I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it
    in two different browsers and both show the same results.

    Comment by podcast uses — July 28, 2017 @ 1:01 pm

  31. Hello Dear, are you really visiting this site daily, if so
    then you will without doubt take nice knowledge.

    Comment by Mickey — July 29, 2017 @ 5:57 am

  32. I am sure this article has touched all the internet viewers,
    its really really fastidious paragraph on building up new weblog.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — July 29, 2017 @ 7:40 pm

  33. Hey, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog site in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it
    has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
    Other then that, very good blog!

    Comment by leliovieiracarneiro.info — August 3, 2017 @ 3:50 am

  34. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is
    added I get three e-mails with the same comment.

    Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks a lot!

    Comment by Chloe — August 6, 2017 @ 4:21 am

  35. Hello Dear, are you genuinely visiting this web site regularly, if so then you
    will without doubt take nice knowledge.

    Comment by http://im.vcimcode.com/home.php?mod=space&uid=737970&do=profile&from=space — August 6, 2017 @ 5:26 pm

  36. Hey terrific blog! Does running a blog like this take a large amount of work?
    I’ve no knowledge of programming however I
    was hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyhow, if you have any recommendations or
    techniques for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off subject but I simply needed
    to ask. Thanks!

    Comment by http://www.royalcounty.net/?document_srl=2214519 — August 7, 2017 @ 7:53 pm

  37. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is required
    to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty
    penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% certain. Any recommendations or advice
    would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

    Comment by Scarlett — August 7, 2017 @ 10:54 pm

  38. Ahaa, its fastidious discussion about this piece
    of writing at this place at this website, I have read all
    that, so at this time me also commenting here.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — August 9, 2017 @ 1:10 pm

  39. Excellent article. I will be facing some of these issues as well..

    Comment by former chief operating — August 10, 2017 @ 3:46 pm

  40. Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking a few minutes and actual
    effort to produce a really good article… but what
    can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and never seem to get nearly anything done.

    Comment by attractive apple — August 10, 2017 @ 6:20 pm

  41. ブランドコピー, スーパーブランドコピー
    当店はスーパーコピー ブランドスーパーコピー ブランド 商品専門ネットショップで、
    私達は長年の実体商店の販売経験を持って、
    あなたのために品質最上の ブランドスーパーコピー時計 ブランドスーパーコピー時計 ブランドスーパーコピーバッグ ブランドスーパーコピーバッグ ブランドスーパーコピー財布
    ブランドスーパーコピー財布工場の生産技術は熟練しています
    ブランドコピーブランド http://www.giginza.com

    Comment by ブランドコピーブランド — August 11, 2017 @ 9:16 am

  42. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article author
    for your weblog. You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset.
    If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine.
    Please send me an email if interested. Kudos!

    Comment by two thousand stocks — August 18, 2017 @ 4:20 am

  43. I’ve learn some good stuff here. Definitely value
    bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how much effort you put to create the sort of
    magnificent informative site.

    Comment by estate investing — August 20, 2017 @ 1:37 pm

  44. Since the admin of this site is working, no hesitation very rapidly it will be
    well-known, due to its feature contents.

    Comment by Bess — August 21, 2017 @ 1:03 pm

  45. 弊店では信用第一主義を徹底しており社員全員下記の方針のもとに頑張っています。
    1.不適合品を入荷しない。
    厳しく受け入れ検査を行い、お客様に満足いただける品質のいい物だけを入荷する。
    2.不適合品を出荷しない。
    出荷前に細部まで二重確認を行い、お客様からご注文頂いた商品を納期通り出荷する。
    3.お客様からのクレームゼロ
    お客様第一主義を徹底し、お客様からのお問い合わせ、苦情等に対して積極的かつ丁寧に対応いたします。
    時計ブランドコピー http://www.bagshop78.com

    Comment by 時計ブランドコピー — August 22, 2017 @ 4:26 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress