Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 512

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 527

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 534

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 570

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1244

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1442

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 431

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/query.php on line 61

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/theme.php on line 1109

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 31

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Http in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/http.php on line 61

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrFrontHelp::detect_bot() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1295

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrFrontHelp::detect_ban() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1296

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrBlgDB::check_ip_single() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/blg/helpers.php on line 90

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrBlgDB::check_ip_range() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/blg/helpers.php on line 92

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrBlgDB::check_ip_mask() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/blg/helpers.php on line 94

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1709

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1710

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1711

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1712

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1713

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::prefill_zeros() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1714
Breakup Girl » Broken up but still living together!
Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrFrontHelp::ie_opacity_fix() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1415
Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

December 7, 2011

Broken up but still living together!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:00 am

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdFunctionsGDSR::get_caller_backtrace() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1826

Strict Standards: Non-static method gdsrBlgDB::add_new_view() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1837

Strict Standards: Non-static method GDSRDatabase::get_post_data() should not be called statically in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/cache.php on line 107

livingtogetherThis house is not a home on September 7, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I think I’m going insane. I just broke up with my boyfriend of three years and nine months. We’ve also lived together for about two and a half years… We still have to live together because neither of us has the money or the means to move out. We have our own rooms, so that makes the situation at least livable. I don’t want him back at all and the feeling is quite mutual; in fact I don’t know why I stuck it out in the relationship so long to begin with.

Anyway, I’m saving up so that I can move out. It’s been about a week since the breakup and I haven’t even cried yet (nor have I felt the urge to). Unfortunately loneliness is starting to hit me like a freight train and I really find myself craving male companionship and affection like some sort of psycho co-dependent weakling. But my ex seems to be taking the breakup so well– I haven’t seen even one smidge of sadness or regret in his face. Then again, one of my main problems with him was that he was about as caring, warm and romantic as a frosty bottle of liquid nitrogen.

So I’ve been doing my best to get out of the house and be with my friends as much as possible, but it doesn’t help to cut the edge off the loneliness as much as I hoped it would. This is only my second relationship and I’m beginning to feel very lost as this loneliness seems to be getting worse– I’m not ready to date again either. I hope I can stay strong long enough for it to pass but I really don’t know what I should do. Mighty Breakup Girl, please help enlighten me to the survival tactics of the “newly single.”

– Frantic


Dear Frantic,

It’s been a week. A week! In Breakup Mean Time, yes, this is seven years. But as far as the healing process goes, it’s nothing. A blip. A half-blip. A nanosecond.

So of course even doing the “right” things isn’t taking the edge off. You’re still in shock. All the fun-and-friends stuff is just glancing off the surface, because you are still numb — to everything. See, you can’t make your sassy, tasty comeback before you’ve got somewhere to come back from. But you skipped that part where you hurl yourself into the sulfurous pits of despair. That part where it’s Wallow City, and you’re the mayor. You need to do this on a finite basis — for one week, say — as an all-out purge.

A central element of the all-out wallow is the effort not to leave the house. But … oops! In your case, home is Casa Boyfriend, and you’re the roommate. That’s not helping either, needless to say. Hard to go cold turkey when the turkey’s warming the couch.

So here’s what there is to do.

1. Quit judging “how he’s taking it.” Or, in any case, thinking you’re right when you do. You have no idea. He might look frosty in the kitchen, but maybe he’s crying himself to sleep. Or maybe, yeah, it’s not bothering him at all, in which case, eeeeuw. Either way, an irresistible but pointless venture.

2. Quit judging how you’re taking it. You’re doing totally fine, normal, and all that, I promise. As long as you promise me that you’ll take some time to let yourself feel lonely. Eat brownies, cry, etc. You’re human (as in carbon, not nitrogen). Be that way.

3. But buy store-brand. And clip coupons. You need out.

Love,
Breakup Girl


Strict Standards: Non-static method GDSRDBCache::get_comments() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/gd-star-rating/code/class.php on line 1962

7 Comments »

  1. I have known my baby’s daddy for almost 3 years… Had our only son when we were both 16.

    My problem isn’t that he was or is a bad father…Its how our relationship is that’s taking a toll on me. He kissed his ex-girlfriend a week into our relationship. I got over it. He looked up his adult entertainment alone in the bathroom. I let it go. And then there was that one night where i left with my parents to Colorado for one of my dad’s friend’s graduation and my boyfriend ended up sleeping with our next door neighbor. Why? As far as he says, I wasn’t there for him when he needed me the most. I forgave but never forget.
    Even though I forgave him..on the inside I couldn’t stay with him. He drew my last patience. So when the moment came for him to go to Job Corp, I started thinking if he was the kind f guy i wanted to be with or not for my baby. I made my decision almost 10 days after he left. So i left him, which made it more easier for me to break it up.
    Things happened in my life that i can’t dicuss here but what happened with my boyfriend is that we are back together now..My feelings for him are different than they were before. I lack emotions toward him and i keep telling him that he needs to be patient with me..he says he loves me and regrets everything he did in the past. I can’t say i love you back. My issue is that i don’t love him..I told him honestly that i want to try to work things out. But the harder i try, the less I’m interested in him. I was always the one that showed my love toward him and he neglected me. Now, Im the one that lacks emotion and he’s the lovy dovy one. I don’t do this to get back at him. I really did try, but it really sucks when he tries to force me to open up. Its something you can’t just force. Yes I did talk to him about it. And i think I’m ready to break up with him again. We live together with our son. The hardest part of telling him that I’m done is that he had threatened me that if i break up with him, he will try to fight custody for my son. and he won’t accept any break ups and still live together fro our son’s sake. I am trying to find a place of my own, but its hard when he gets upset even because I walk to talk to my friends about it. He gets mad because he says thats his business. So I stopped talking to all my friends all together. Now I talk to my only true friend behind his back so he won’t get upset or jealous. :( What I do need to say about why I went back with him, was because I am still involved with CYFD because of something an ex bf did to my son. And so I can’t leave him until my case closes or he’ll go to them and extend their stay. CYFD wants to make sure that my boyfriend and I can be more compatible for my son. Sounds ridiculous I know. So what should I do? Should I leave him now or wait it out till its all over? I hate being with him. I just want what’s best for my son. I know I wrote a lot, but I thought this would help in getting advice.

    ~Natalie

    Comment by Natalie McElyea — June 19, 2012 @ 3:51 am

  2. Hi My name is “juan” just want to share my experience with the world on
    how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 4years with
    3kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had a
    fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that he
    filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with
    me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn’t want to loose him but
    everything just didn’t work out… he moved out of the house and still went
    ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing
    worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful,
    great spell caster greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com who eventually helped me
    out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try
    reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special
    prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 3 days he called me and was sorry
    for all the emotional trauma he had cost me, moved back to the house and we
    continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our
    fourth child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems
    across the world and they have had good news… contact him on greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com or call him on +2348104181322

    Comment by juan — March 22, 2013 @ 8:19 pm

  3. My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but i decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then i went online there i saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is igbodospiritualtemple@gmail.com
    so i had to contact him and in just 2days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to.I cant thank the spell caster enough for what he did for me, i am so grateful. I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence. His email again is:igbodospiritualtemple@gmail.com

    Comment by CHALTON — December 11, 2013 @ 7:00 pm

  4. Hi, I am JOLLY MENX from Germany,I just want to say thanks to Dr IRABOR for taking time to help me cast the spell that brings back my ex lover{now husband},who suddenly lost interest in me after six month of engagement,but today we are married with kids and we are more happier than never before,Thanks to Dr IRABOR for his help,he deeply enjoy helping people achieve their desires, find true love,getting their ex lovers back,stop abusive relationships,find success,attract happiness,find soul mates and more,contact him today. and let him show you the wonders and amazement of his Love Spell System work,He deliver results at his best in real spell casting,email iraborspelltemple@gmail.com for relationship matters.

    Comment by JOLLY — January 14, 2014 @ 12:17 am

  5. Hello,
    I am mrs mary morgan from FINLAND, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband george morgan, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to france he meant a lady called clara, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don’t know what to do until I met my friend miss florida and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called dromoba who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss florida ask me to contact dromoba. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact dromoba on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact dromobaspellhome@gmail.com, He is the best spell caster. call him on +2348076826545.

    Comment by mary — February 1, 2014 @ 12:15 am

  6. my name is Anabella from USA, I want to thank the Great DR Ogidigbi Ekpen for what he did for me he brought happiness back into my life. My boyfriend left me and told me is over I was devastated as I loved him so much I decided to contact a spell caster and I met a friend who told me of a great doctor and I decided to contact him and he told me in three days my boyfriend will call me and beg me to aCcept him I thought he was joking in three days everything happened as he said I am so happy now. You can also contact him at via email: ogidigbioracletemple@gmail.com for all your problems

    Comment by Anabella — February 6, 2014 @ 3:46 am

  7. Am Ella from UK I have been in bondage ever since my husband left for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend mary introduced me to this great spell caster DR ogudugu and i contacted him through his email oguduguspelltemple@gmail.com,i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and Scott come to me on his knee begging for
    forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this
    man and i will forever publish his name
    oguduguspelltemple@gmail.com

    Comment by Ella — February 20, 2014 @ 6:00 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class sk2_plugin in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugin_class.php on line 45

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_captcha_plugin::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_captcha_plugin.php on line 70

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_pjw_simpledigest::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_pjw_daily_digest_plugin.php on line 277

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_rbl_plugin::treat_this() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::treat_this(&$cmt_object) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_rbl_plugin.php on line 342

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_referrer_check_plugin::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_referrer_check_plugin.php on line 78
[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress