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Breakup Girl » Broken up but still living together!




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December 7, 2011

Broken up but still living together!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:00 am

livingtogetherThis house is not a home on September 7, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I think I’m going insane. I just broke up with my boyfriend of three years and nine months. We’ve also lived together for about two and a half years… We still have to live together because neither of us has the money or the means to move out. We have our own rooms, so that makes the situation at least livable. I don’t want him back at all and the feeling is quite mutual; in fact I don’t know why I stuck it out in the relationship so long to begin with.

Anyway, I’m saving up so that I can move out. It’s been about a week since the breakup and I haven’t even cried yet (nor have I felt the urge to). Unfortunately loneliness is starting to hit me like a freight train and I really find myself craving male companionship and affection like some sort of psycho co-dependent weakling. But my ex seems to be taking the breakup so well– I haven’t seen even one smidge of sadness or regret in his face. Then again, one of my main problems with him was that he was about as caring, warm and romantic as a frosty bottle of liquid nitrogen.

So I’ve been doing my best to get out of the house and be with my friends as much as possible, but it doesn’t help to cut the edge off the loneliness as much as I hoped it would. This is only my second relationship and I’m beginning to feel very lost as this loneliness seems to be getting worse– I’m not ready to date again either. I hope I can stay strong long enough for it to pass but I really don’t know what I should do. Mighty Breakup Girl, please help enlighten me to the survival tactics of the “newly single.”

– Frantic

Dear Frantic,

It’s been a week. A week! In Breakup Mean Time, yes, this is seven years. But as far as the healing process goes, it’s nothing. A blip. A half-blip. A nanosecond.

So of course even doing the “right” things isn’t taking the edge off. You’re still in shock. All the fun-and-friends stuff is just glancing off the surface, because you are still numb — to everything. See, you can’t make your sassy, tasty comeback before you’ve got somewhere to come back from. But you skipped that part where you hurl yourself into the sulfurous pits of despair. That part where it’s Wallow City, and you’re the mayor. You need to do this on a finite basis — for one week, say — as an all-out purge.

A central element of the all-out wallow is the effort not to leave the house. But … oops! In your case, home is Casa Boyfriend, and you’re the roommate. That’s not helping either, needless to say. Hard to go cold turkey when the turkey’s warming the couch.

So here’s what there is to do.

1. Quit judging “how he’s taking it.” Or, in any case, thinking you’re right when you do. You have no idea. He might look frosty in the kitchen, but maybe he’s crying himself to sleep. Or maybe, yeah, it’s not bothering him at all, in which case, eeeeuw. Either way, an irresistible but pointless venture.

2. Quit judging how you’re taking it. You’re doing totally fine, normal, and all that, I promise. As long as you promise me that you’ll take some time to let yourself feel lonely. Eat brownies, cry, etc. You’re human (as in carbon, not nitrogen). Be that way.

3. But buy store-brand. And clip coupons. You need out.

Breakup Girl


  1. I have known my baby’s daddy for almost 3 years… Had our only son when we were both 16.

    My problem isn’t that he was or is a bad father…Its how our relationship is that’s taking a toll on me. He kissed his ex-girlfriend a week into our relationship. I got over it. He looked up his adult entertainment alone in the bathroom. I let it go. And then there was that one night where i left with my parents to Colorado for one of my dad’s friend’s graduation and my boyfriend ended up sleeping with our next door neighbor. Why? As far as he says, I wasn’t there for him when he needed me the most. I forgave but never forget.
    Even though I forgave him..on the inside I couldn’t stay with him. He drew my last patience. So when the moment came for him to go to Job Corp, I started thinking if he was the kind f guy i wanted to be with or not for my baby. I made my decision almost 10 days after he left. So i left him, which made it more easier for me to break it up.
    Things happened in my life that i can’t dicuss here but what happened with my boyfriend is that we are back together now..My feelings for him are different than they were before. I lack emotions toward him and i keep telling him that he needs to be patient with me..he says he loves me and regrets everything he did in the past. I can’t say i love you back. My issue is that i don’t love him..I told him honestly that i want to try to work things out. But the harder i try, the less I’m interested in him. I was always the one that showed my love toward him and he neglected me. Now, Im the one that lacks emotion and he’s the lovy dovy one. I don’t do this to get back at him. I really did try, but it really sucks when he tries to force me to open up. Its something you can’t just force. Yes I did talk to him about it. And i think I’m ready to break up with him again. We live together with our son. The hardest part of telling him that I’m done is that he had threatened me that if i break up with him, he will try to fight custody for my son. and he won’t accept any break ups and still live together fro our son’s sake. I am trying to find a place of my own, but its hard when he gets upset even because I walk to talk to my friends about it. He gets mad because he says thats his business. So I stopped talking to all my friends all together. Now I talk to my only true friend behind his back so he won’t get upset or jealous. :( What I do need to say about why I went back with him, was because I am still involved with CYFD because of something an ex bf did to my son. And so I can’t leave him until my case closes or he’ll go to them and extend their stay. CYFD wants to make sure that my boyfriend and I can be more compatible for my son. Sounds ridiculous I know. So what should I do? Should I leave him now or wait it out till its all over? I hate being with him. I just want what’s best for my son. I know I wrote a lot, but I thought this would help in getting advice.


    Comment by Natalie McElyea — June 19, 2012 @ 3:51 am

  2. Hi My name is “juan” just want to share my experience with the world on
    how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 4years with
    3kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had a
    fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that he
    filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with
    me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn’t want to loose him but
    everything just didn’t work out… he moved out of the house and still went
    ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing
    worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful,
    great spell caster who eventually helped me
    out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try
    reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special
    prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 3 days he called me and was sorry
    for all the emotional trauma he had cost me, moved back to the house and we
    continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our
    fourth child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems
    across the world and they have had good news… contact him on or call him on +2348104181322

    Comment by juan — March 22, 2013 @ 8:19 pm

  3. My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but i decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then i went online there i saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is
    so i had to contact him and in just 2days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to.I cant thank the spell caster enough for what he did for me, i am so grateful. I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence. His email again

    Comment by CHALTON — December 11, 2013 @ 7:00 pm

  4. Hi, I am JOLLY MENX from Germany,I just want to say thanks to Dr IRABOR for taking time to help me cast the spell that brings back my ex lover{now husband},who suddenly lost interest in me after six month of engagement,but today we are married with kids and we are more happier than never before,Thanks to Dr IRABOR for his help,he deeply enjoy helping people achieve their desires, find true love,getting their ex lovers back,stop abusive relationships,find success,attract happiness,find soul mates and more,contact him today. and let him show you the wonders and amazement of his Love Spell System work,He deliver results at his best in real spell casting,email for relationship matters.

    Comment by JOLLY — January 14, 2014 @ 12:17 am

  5. Hello,
    I am mrs mary morgan from FINLAND, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband george morgan, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to france he meant a lady called clara, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don’t know what to do until I met my friend miss florida and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called dromoba who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss florida ask me to contact dromoba. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact dromoba on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact, He is the best spell caster. call him on +2348076826545.

    Comment by mary — February 1, 2014 @ 12:15 am

  6. my name is Anabella from USA, I want to thank the Great DR Ogidigbi Ekpen for what he did for me he brought happiness back into my life. My boyfriend left me and told me is over I was devastated as I loved him so much I decided to contact a spell caster and I met a friend who told me of a great doctor and I decided to contact him and he told me in three days my boyfriend will call me and beg me to aCcept him I thought he was joking in three days everything happened as he said I am so happy now. You can also contact him at via email: for all your problems

    Comment by Anabella — February 6, 2014 @ 3:46 am

  7. Am Ella from UK I have been in bondage ever since my husband left for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend mary introduced me to this great spell caster DR ogudugu and i contacted him through his email,i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and Scott come to me on his knee begging for
    forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this
    man and i will forever publish his name

    Comment by Ella — February 20, 2014 @ 6:00 pm

  8. hello everyone this really worked and i am proud to testify also. i saw a post on how a lady got her husband back and i decided to try this prophet that helped her because my relationship was crashing. although i never believed in spiritual work i reluctantly tried him because i was desperate but to my greatest surprise this prophet helped me and my relationship is now perfect just as he promised my husband now treats me like a queen even when he had told me before he doesn’t love me anymore. well, i can not say much but if you are passing through difficulties in your relationship try him here is his email of a truth he really helps again his email his

    Comment by mariam — September 28, 2014 @ 8:50 am

  9. My husband is back!!!
    I had a problem with my husband six months ago,which lead to us apart. When he broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I felt so empty inside .Until a friend of mine told me about one of her spell casters that helped her in same problem too that she found on a television program. i emailed the spell caster and I told him my problem and I did what he asked me to briefly make. to cut the long story short,Before I knew what was happening,not up to 24 hours,my husband gave me a call and he came back to me and told me he was sorry about what has happened, I’m so grateful to this spell caster and i will not stop publishing his name on the internet just for the good work he has been doing.If you need his help,you can email him at(UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM )and he will also help you Dr Akim is his name (UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM) I will be forever grateful to you.or call his mobile number on +2348159645271

    Comment by Elriian Morik — October 11, 2014 @ 5:34 pm

  10. use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today.This great man Dr isaac brought my husband back to me, i had three lovely kids for my husband, about four years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, So,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back because this life is too short for some one to be having emotional stress. Thanks to Dr isaac for bringing back my husband,and brought great joy to my family once again. His email:

    Comment by HELEN — October 27, 2014 @ 9:58 pm

  11. Debbie, click on the February words in this post. It will take you to my blog. Scroll down and click on the same picture again. Then, you will be able to dolwaond the whole packet :)

    Comment by Reginaldo — November 13, 2014 @ 6:06 pm

  12. bookmarked!!, I really like your web site!

    Comment by windows seo vps — January 24, 2015 @ 2:05 am

  13. I only discovered that my wife, the every woman i love with my life was cheating on me with her boss. This broke my heart in pieces. I knew form the very beginning that her boss was going to bring about the end of my happiness there was something about him that gives him an upper hand when i came to women. He always got what he wanted from any beauty that capture his eye. What wowed me was that my wife, fell for him and decided to put at stake everything we have fought and worked for all those 14 years. I trusted her though i can’t say that our sex life was epic but i can say we were doing alright. I discovered messages in her computer about 8 months ago. I was mad and at the same time sad but i was going to find out how true they where before i ask her or rather before i was going confront her about what i know about sexual relationship with her boss. Unfortunately i was so unlucky and could not dig up any dirt. The affair was perfectly carried out and by all means no trail was left to trace. I could not pay for a private investigator so i decided to confront her myself and ask her about the messages on her computer and like instantly she came out clean but i wished i never asked her because it was like she needed me to see those messages in the first place. My discovery about her affair was like her ticket or rather her way of telling me she no longer was in love with me after 14 years of marriage. She basically left me for her boss. I wished i knew where we went wrong and got bad. Am just gonna go straight to the point because i was not just going let her go like that. She was the first and only girl i had sex with i was not a popular guy in high school she was all i had and loved i was not even in my dreams, let her go without a fight in what ever form. I found a powerful elixir maker called Metodo Acamu Online during a 4 months period she was living with her boss. He is a real and legit and all his techniques actually works just the way they ought to work. If not for Metodo Acamu i would probably be a wasted human by now. He helped me with a make the woman i promised my life time to on the day of our wedding come back to me. It might seem selfish of me to some of you but others who understand what i was in, can tell that just letting her do would be foolish because never again will i find someone like her. All Metodo Acamu asked from me was just materials and nothing else and it was for not reason compulsory for me to give him the money for the materials because, i had options he gave me to get the process done. I could get the materials myself and mail it to him via ups or come down to his holy ground or send down the cost of the materials to him which is less expensive that all other options. And i did just that and it worked will for me. He helped me prepare power elixir and via ups he sent me a package containing harmless materials and instructions on how i was going make the elixir active. I did all he asked me to do in the instructions and everything happened just how i wanted. I got my wife to love just the way i wanted and i loved her just how she wanted. I can literally say my life is perfect because all i need in my life was my family and i had it back with a stronger love bond. Metodo Acamu can be reached with his email address { metodoacamufrotressx at yahoo dot com } note: when contacting him use this email in its right format where all words and character are packed together and at and dot is used in the normal email way.

    Comment by Barry Whitee — February 1, 2015 @ 5:23 pm

  14. Jobs at your Home, Internet Online Jobs like data entry, copy pasting, Form Filling, Facebook Sharing Jobs, Clicking Jobs, Web Surfing, Google Jobs and Much More Earning Systems Online

    Comment by Diana — February 19, 2015 @ 8:18 am

  15. Wow! That’s a really neat anwser!

    Comment by Kobe — February 21, 2015 @ 12:28 am

  16. 1 egg york, but in the picture I saw a whole egg in the cnteer of the flour mixture. So actually how many eggs are requied. pls help. Thanks in advance. Happy new year Mr Hong.

    Comment by Aksay — March 23, 2015 @ 2:31 pm

  17. Hi Peng, I baked this cake this evening. It tneurd out to be a huge success! I must say you are one of those few unselfish bakers out there who genuinely willing to share your techniques to the fans. I tried some of your recipes, I followed exactly what you wrote, and all tneurd out fantastic!By the way, is this a chilled cake? Do I have to put in the fridge overnight? Thanks.

    Comment by Bibek — April 22, 2015 @ 3:19 am

  18. Hello I am CHIZZY PEACE ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to DR ADAGBA the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Dr Adagba about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR ADAGBA at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: and get your problems solve like me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:

    Comment by CHIZZY — May 5, 2015 @ 12:39 am

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