Dear Breakup Girl,
Okay, this is kinda (well actually is) rather lengthy and complicated, but here goes. Currently I’m a SWM 20, sophomore in college. At the beginning of the summer semester two new girls, twins, although not identical, moved into the dorms. We met one Sunday morning at church and I was informed that they were going to the same college as me and we ought to get to know each other. All fine and well. Now the fun begins. As the only available college boy in the church at the time it was assumed immediately and automatically that one of the twins and I were going to end up hooking up. Rumors flew about who liked who and the like and it all became a lovely little mess. Extremely short: I liked one and the other liked me. I now know.
So one night, a friend and I stop by the dorms to see them the twin I liked (further referred to as t1) and we had a deep conversation about her life and mine and past relationships and that genre of discussion. It was a bit emotional, at least from my standpoint. So we made arrangements for the four of us to go out the next evening to show them around town, so to speak. However, t2 had already laid claim to me (according to the sisterly and womanly laws governing men, I later found out) so t1 agreed to backoff. T2 used this time get to know me and one night voiced her affections for me audibly. –and physically. (Hold on now, not like that, she kissed me. Okay, a lot, but …). She requested that I at least give the relationship a try, and being the want-to-be-a-nice-guy type that I am, I agreed.
It became quite clear to me that this was not going to work since I hadn’t ever pondered the possibilites of pursuing t2 and still had a bit for t1. So, I told her up front and honestly that the trial run was over and that I was sorry and she seemed to be cool with it. (She has a newly acquired bf).
During all this time t1 took it upon herself to find her own bf and to voice her opinion over my treatment of her sister. T2 insists to her that I did treat her well and didn’t hurt her. So I took it upon myself to apologize to t1 and explain the whole situation.
Now we’re at the present (finally) and here’s the problem. T1 has hinted (well, blatantly said it to me) that she and current bf may not be together long. I know this is dangerous territory to venture into, but is there some possibility that t1 and I may have a chance? Even with the history between t2 and myself. But we never did have a chance for anything to happen before……so….???? What do I do now??? (maybe I should interject some personal views: personality wise and in other ways I think t1 and I are well suited for each other and would make a great couple. Well of course I do, I want to date her, but you get my point.) Wishing I could magically fix the whole thing, sign me …
Do you two have a chance? Sure. Stranger things have happened, on Twin Peaks, anyway. Still, you’re gonna have to back off until T1 and B0 (Boyfriend Nothing) make a clean break. Also, I’d give T2 a heads-up. As in a “Hey, I just wanted to give you the respect of letting you know ahead of time that I’m planning to ask your sister out and acknowledge that that’s a little awkward. But hey, I just gotta be me …!” kinda thing. Note: “ahead of time,” as in, 5 minutes. According to the sisterly/womanly laws of physics, the “news” will reach T1 at twice the speed of sound.
This advice was originally published September 14, 1998.