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January 25, 2012

True Confessions: Our Relationship Failed … And Now He’s a Success!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:05 am

truecircleDear Breakup Girl,

Short and sweet (bitter): He broke up with me six months ago. I essentially supported him for half the relationship (which, granted, was only four months long– a personal record– and which I did very enthusiastically.) He is a writer and was extremely depressed about his lack of success. He had written a great novel which I encouraged him to keep hustling. I spoke to him recently. He sold the manuscript. To a huge major publisher. I am not aschadenfreude kind of girl. I was genuinely happy for him. However, now it seems I cannot stop crying. I mean, I’ve been pretty upset in general, hard getting over him etc., but now I’m a bit of a basket case. Also, he was going to take me on this great vacation when he finally got some money….

A friend of mine broke up with someone who then won the Pulitzer prize. But she broke up with him.

Look, I know I’m not personally fulfilled (I’m a writer too blah blah blah and not actualizing a lot of opportunities blah blah, my shrink’s away…) and that’s why I feel empty and crazy as a result of this news, however I just want to know that he is aware of the fact that it would be a nice gesture if he say, said thanks, or offered to buy me a drink (I wouldn’t go, I mean I know that wouldn’t be healthyblahblah…) but I think maybe it hasn’t occurred to him and this is what makes me very very unhappy. Very. I feel sick. And I fantasize about floating gay rumors that will forever haunt him. Not in a bad way… Help?

— Basket Case

Dear BC,

Of course you’re unhappy. You want your vacation, you want your Pulitzer, you want your props, and you want to get your boyfriend back (double entendre intended). There’s not much I can tell you that you don’t already know, except to assure you that you, Basket Case, are NORMAL.

Tip: let this be a little competitive incentive to actually “actualize” some of those opportunities.

Plea: do not, repeat do not, write a book about this breakup.

Breakup Girl

This advice was originally published September 14, 1998.


  1. Basket Case, I feel you.
    My mom met my dad when he was a communist hobo pretending to fight for student / farmer rights.
    She loved him for who he was and supported him no matter what.
    Because of my mom he got through school and eventually became a big, rich, capitalist CEO.
    Then he decided that was not enough, and left.
    And he not only failed to recognize her role in all his success but up until recently refused to sign the divorce papers because he said my mom would try to “steal” all he had earned through his “own hard work”. And my mom wasn’t pushy. So now she’s broke and pretty much just waived her last rights a couple years ago.

    My mom is a smart woman and I love her, but what she did was STUPID. Like an Adam Sandler movie. Please do not make the same mistake. Sometimes in life you have to forgive and forget and move on.
    When a guy takes your time, your energy, your love and [indirectly–hopefully] your money, and gets successful and doesn’t feel grateful at all… IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES.

    For all you know this guy could have given up writing or even life, and through your encouragement you put him on the path to success. And he doesn’t even thank you? Gay rumours barely even does it.
    But please, pretty please, DO MAKE SURE HE WASN’T JUST LYING AND/OR TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU TO GET BACK. (double entendre?)

    Comment by Alma Madero — January 27, 2012 @ 12:45 am

  2. Alma, welcome! I’ve enjoyed all your recent comments, and not just your Adam Sandler wisecrack. Please keep visiting and sharing your insights!

    Comment by Breakup Girl — January 30, 2012 @ 9:49 pm

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