Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

February 22, 2012

Giving up on “giving it up”

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:53 am

Keeping things interesting on September 21, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Is there something in between having sex and not having sex??? Because if there is, I need to know what it is in order to hang onto a guy after the third date!

See, in December I fell for this guy and we clicked — tons of e-mail, great two dates, great phone conversations, he bought me a plane ticket so I could end my visit home early and see him. Well, he picked me up from the airport, we did the deed, he dumped me over e-mail the next day saying I gave it up too easy.

Gun shy and hurt, I spend the next several months healing, working hard in my profession and building inner-strength. Then last Saturday night I go out with this *great* guy and we have an absolutely fabulous 11 hour date. He couldn’t wait to see me again so we met up the next night. That night he arrives with lips and hands in motion, makes the move, I (learning from the past) ask if we can hold off, he runs. It was like having the Roadrunner exiting my apartment (meep! meep!).

You sleep with a guy — he bolts.

You don’t sleep with a guy — he bolts.

So back to my original question. Is there something between having sex and not having sex where a girl can keep her self-respect AND get to the fourth date?

— Bitten Smitten Kitten


Dear Kitten,

Okay, big eeeeuw on both boys. But you’re lucking out here with a special guest answer from Actual Guy Chris Pizzo, co–author of What Men Want and, I’m sure, frequent fourth-date-getter-toer:

“Guys who sleep with women too early on in the relationship will classify that woman as a Good For Now Girl, not a woman with wife potential. This guy actually did you a favor by bolting. Normally, when a guy has a GFN girl on the hook, especially one that he is having sex with, he will keep her on the hook, string her along, just to have sex and companionship and ultimately hurt her. You’re lucky he bolted and didn’t string you along.

The second guy also did you a favor by bolting. He was obviously in it for sex and sex only. So he bolted! Better for you. You wouldn’t want to be with a guy like this.

In What Men Want we talk about signs and signals. In both of your examples you describe ‘great’ situations. The difference is, ask the guys what they were thinking. I’m sure their interpretation would be quite different. Knowing how to read the signs and signals men send off would have alerted you or at least cautioned you about these guys. You would have been able to see things through their eyes and I bet it wouldn’t have been as pretty a picture as you painted.

In specifc response to your question, yes there is an in between. It is called WAITING! Do what you feel comfortable with but err on the side of caution. If a guy bolts because you won’t give it up then he has done you a tremendous favor. If the relationship is strong he will be completely comfortable with waiting and will respect you more. It will be all the more special when it does finally happen.”

All excellent/ugly points, to which I would like to add one more. Well, actually just finesse the last one. BG will not — well rarely — yell at you for not keeping three feet on the floor on the first date. I hear about so many bland dates that it’s nice to hear about a sizzler once in while. However. Cool thing is, waiting is not just something you do to “keep the guy interested.” It’s something you do to make sure that the emotional stuff doesn’t have to sprint to catch up with the physical stuff — it often gets tired on the way. And when you do, I promise you a hot raunchy night of non-stop self-respect.

Okay? Write me when you hit four.

Love,
Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. I really needed to find this info, thank God!

    Comment by cheap car insurance Spring Hill FL — September 25, 2016 @ 2:30 pm

  2. I love Effie because of her innocence and cluelessness. The way she walks, talks, and acts is so perfect down to detail. As disgusted as she might be by District 12 she truly makes an effort to help Katniss and Peeta through the Games. This truly makes me love her because she’s devoted to the tributes yet, at the same time enjoys the Games.~Catnip….loveee yah Effieeee

    Comment by cheap non owners insurance Irvine CA — September 25, 2016 @ 2:50 pm

  3. disse:Muito bacana! Trabalho no então estou sempre antenado nas novidades, esta me chamou atenção pois além de ser um objeto de decoração muito bonito, está incentivando a pode de plantas,sendo assim está contribuindo para o meio ambiente. Parabéns aos Designers

    Comment by affordable auto insurance Columbus GA — September 25, 2016 @ 2:59 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress