Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

March 12, 2012

From friends to … wait, what?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:32 am

Going all the way — to Crazytown on September 28, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am still a virgin. This is not a bad thing in my eyes, but it makes me REALLY shy when it comes to dating. I don’t want to have sex until I’m married, or at least engaged, I would even give it up when I’d been dating the guy for more than a year. What worries me, is that my virginity is getting in the way of my dating life. Which brings me to the fact that I’ve only had one boyfriend and that was only for a short month. Boys like me, as far as I can tell, but every time one tries to get me into a relationship, I hesitate, because I don’t like to kiss or makeout. Kissing disgusts me, and I’ve never made-out before, but I don’t think I’d like it. I don’t have much sex drive to tell you the truth. I was really boy crazy when I was younger and in high school, but now I’m not interested in physical stuff; I just want to enjoy the person I’m dating for who they are and how they make me feel, emotionally. I love one man, and he is the only one I would even think about having sex with, but he currently has a girlfriend of 1 year, and is my best guy friend in the world.

ANYWAY, back to my virginity. Is there something wrong with me, if I don’t want to hop in the sack? I’m guessing not, but it seems like the whole world is just going at it like rabbits. Another thing is that I want my husband to be either a virgin, also, or pretty darn close to one. Most guys I meet up with have a pretty large past file, or one I consider too large, and I’m turned off, even to their personality and good sides. And it’s not even like I’m going to sleep with them anyway, so I could at least date them…But the big thing is–I don’t want to be PRESSURED, and I don’t want them to try to pretend that they’ll be patient.

One of my best friends recommended that I ask my best guy friend in the whole world (yes, the one who has a steady girlfriend), to have sex with me so I know whether or not I like it, so I know if it really is something I want to save for marriage or want to experience more sooner. I’m going away to college again, and she suggested that I write him in a letter and ask him if he would be comfortable with having sex with me. She also said that I should explain that I want to experience it with someone I know will not hurt me, will stop if I want them to, and who I know is cautious in his sex life (he’s only slept with his current girlfriend), and also that it would mean nothing to me, other than a big favor from a friend. And what’s crazy and insane is that I actually considered this! First of all, I think it would ruin our great friendship, because we used to kind of see each other on and off, and when I asked for more than friends, he gracefully declined. But I really would like to experience sex from someone I trust so greatly. I’m scared that if I don’t have it now, I’ll never have it, because I don’t think I’ll trust anyone as much as I trust and love him.

Any advice? Should I re-think this experiencing biz? And how do I not let my virginity get in the way of dating?

— Still A Virgin

Dear Still,

Okay, we need to give Breakup Mom a moment to recover. See, in her day, “virginity” and “dating” did not so much interfere with one another. I’m just saying.

But now I just cannot wait any longer to say: NO! A thousand times NO! BG does NOT endorse this “experiencing biz!” For a million reasons, a big one being: you’re not interested. You don’t want to. You’re not all that amped about kissing, and you’re talking about doing the nasty? Also, your logic is waaaaay askew: you’re staying a virgin to keep things special, except for that one time when you have sex that “would mean nothing.” Or, more to the point: you want to have sex so you’ll know if you want to save yourself for marriage? Hmm. And finally: how delightful that you trust and love this your friend; how depressing that you think this is a one-in-forever chance.

All of which says to me: you’re not ready, you’re completely confused, and you’re not all that secure and confident that you’re a tasty babe whom the boys — extra-spiffy boys, without girlfriends — will like no matter how little you put out. And the latter is the key to letting “virginity” and “dating” coexist peacefully and powerfully.

Breakup Girl


  1. My brother recommended I might like this website.

    He used to be totally right. This publish truly made my day.
    You cann’t consider just how a lot time I had spent for
    this info! Thank you!

    Comment by Arlette — May 24, 2017 @ 2:50 pm

  2. My spouse and I stumbled over here coming from a different website and thought I should
    check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you.
    Look forward to going over your web page again.

    Comment by Augusto de Arruda Botelho — May 24, 2017 @ 2:55 pm

  3. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto
    a colleague who has been conducting a little research on this.

    And he in fact ordered me dinner because I discovered it for
    him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this issue here on your web site.

    Comment by arowana.com.vn — May 24, 2017 @ 3:50 pm

  4. It’s awesome designed for me to have a website, which is beneficial designed for my know-how.
    thanks admin

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — May 24, 2017 @ 5:16 pm

  5. I do agree with all the ideas you’ve offered on your post.

    They are really convincing and can definitely work. Nonetheless,
    the posts are very quick for beginners. May just
    you please lengthen them a little from subsequent
    time? Thanks for the post.

    Comment by global resorts network — May 25, 2017 @ 7:22 pm

  6. Howdy! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 4!
    Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your
    posts! Carry on the superb work!

    Comment by Shiela — May 26, 2017 @ 12:13 am

  7. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I to find It truly useful
    & it helped me out much. I am hoping to present something again and aid others like you helped me.

    Comment by Colleen — May 26, 2017 @ 5:19 am

  8. Howdy I am so glad I found your blog page, I really found you by accident, while
    I was searching on Digg for something else,
    Anyways I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a tremendous post and a all round thrilling blog (I
    also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to
    read it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also included
    your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will
    be back to read much more, Please do keep up the fantastic

    Comment by best broadband in my area — May 26, 2017 @ 5:27 am

  9. hey there and thank you for your information – I’ve definitely picked up anything new from right here.

    I did however expertise some technical points
    using this web site, as I experienced to reload the site
    many times previous to I could get it to load properly.
    I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining,
    but sluggish loading instances times will often affect your
    placement in google and could damage your high quality score if
    advertising and marketing with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to my email and could
    look out for a lot more of your respective fascinating content.
    Make sure you update this again soon.

    Comment by Pablo — May 27, 2017 @ 12:45 am

  10. It’s perfect time to make some plans for the longer term and it
    is time to be happy. I have learn this post and if I could I want to suggest
    you some interesting issues or advice. Perhaps you can write subsequent articles relating to this article.
    I want to learn even more things about it!

    Comment by Edgardo — May 27, 2017 @ 3:33 am

  11. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now
    each time a comment is added I get several emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service?

    Comment by glam seamless review — May 29, 2017 @ 3:53 am

  12. Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text
    in your article seem to be running off the screen in Internet explorer.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web browser
    compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design and style look great
    though! Hope you get the problem fixed soon. Thanks

    Comment by car hire — May 29, 2017 @ 1:12 pm

  13. wh0cd250354 Buy Cialis

    Comment by Michaelclome — June 1, 2017 @ 6:10 pm

  14. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and
    was curious what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a
    blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not
    very internet smart so I’m not 100% positive. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Comment by steal important items — June 1, 2017 @ 10:39 pm

  15. Have you ever considered about including a little bit more than just your articles?
    I mean, what you say is valuable and everything.
    But think of if you added some great pictures or videos to give your posts more, “pop”!
    Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this blog could definitely be one of the best in its field.
    Great blog!

    Comment by Sheldon — June 2, 2017 @ 1:31 am

  16. That is very fascinating, You’re an excessively skilled
    blogger. I have joined your feed and look ahead to looking for more of
    your great post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks

    Comment by all wheel drive cars — June 2, 2017 @ 10:26 am

  17. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog thus i got here to return the want?.I am trying to find things
    to enhance my web site!I guess its good enough to make use
    of a few of your ideas!!

    Comment by Marco — June 2, 2017 @ 6:09 pm

  18. great submit, very informative. I wonder why
    the opposite experts of this sector don’t realize this.

    You should continue your writing. I’m confident, you’ve a
    great readers’ base already!

    Comment by Taylor — June 2, 2017 @ 11:04 pm

  19. WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching for make money in 48 hours

    Comment by credit card offers — June 3, 2017 @ 7:04 am

  20. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article.
    I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of
    your useful info. Thanks for the post. I will certainly comeback.

    Comment by Stevie — June 3, 2017 @ 10:37 am

  21. I like what you guys tend to be up too. Such clever
    work and reporting! Keep up the great works guys I’ve added you guys to my personal blogroll.

    Comment by Jerrold — June 3, 2017 @ 7:36 pm

  22. Hi there Dear, are you in fact visiting this web site daily, if so afterward
    you will absolutely obtain good knowledge.

    Comment by wear long pants — June 4, 2017 @ 5:39 pm

  23. Excellent post. Keep writing such kind of info on your
    site. Im really impressed by it.
    Hello there, You have performed an excellent job. I will definitely digg it and in my view suggest to my friends.

    I’m sure they’ll be benefited from this site.

    Comment by safari travelers — June 5, 2017 @ 6:48 am

  24. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as
    with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?
    Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s
    rare to see a great blog like this one nowadays.

    Comment by www.youtube.com — June 6, 2017 @ 8:54 am

  25. Thanks for the marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it,
    you’re a great author. I will be sure to bookmark your blog and
    may come back later in life. I want to encourage that you
    continue your great posts, have a nice afternoon!

    Comment by Elizabeth — June 7, 2017 @ 5:21 am

  26. I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it
    up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back later.
    Many thanks

    Comment by Rashad — June 11, 2017 @ 12:00 am

  27. Great info. Lucky me I ran across your blog by accident (stumbleupon).
    I have book marked it for later!

    Comment by https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usuário(a):Egli_Diana_Pinto — June 12, 2017 @ 3:14 am

  28. At this time I am going to do my breakfast, later than having my breakfast coming over again to read additional news.

    Comment by Elana — June 12, 2017 @ 3:38 pm

  29. I’m curious to find out what blog system you have been working with?
    I’m experiencing some minor security issues with my latest site and I’d like
    to find something more secure. Do you have any recommendations?

    Comment by make money in 48 hours — June 12, 2017 @ 8:10 pm

  30. Unquestionably believe that which you stated.

    Your favorite reason appeared to be on the internet the easiest thing to be aware of.
    I say to you, I definitely get irked while people think about worries
    that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the
    whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal.
    Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

    Comment by http://www.teatromusic.com — June 13, 2017 @ 7:47 am

  31. Spot on with this write-up, I honestly think this website needs much more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read more,
    thanks for the information!

    Comment by video clip along — June 14, 2017 @ 10:39 pm

  32. I constantly spent my half an hour to read this web site’s
    articles or reviews everyday along with a cup of coffee.

    Comment by ring extensions — June 15, 2017 @ 4:13 pm

  33. First off I would like to say awesome blog!
    I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.

    I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing.
    I have had difficulty clearing my mind in getting my ideas out there.
    I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like
    the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips?
    Thank you!

    Comment by hairpiece enjoying — June 15, 2017 @ 5:55 pm

  34. I was extremely pleased to uncover this site. I need to to thank
    you for ones time for this fantastic read!! I definitely appreciated every little bit of it and I have you book-marked to check out new
    things in your blog.

    Comment by windows car pc — June 15, 2017 @ 9:52 pm

  35. great submit, very informative. I ponder why the other specialists of this sector do not notice this.
    You must continue your writing. I’m sure, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

    Comment by related criminal issues — June 16, 2017 @ 3:58 am

  36. Every weekend i used to visit this web page, because i
    want enjoyment, since this this site conations actually fastidious funny material

    Comment by few popular debt — June 16, 2017 @ 2:15 pm

  37. wh0cd396309 viagra online buy abilify

    Comment by Michaelclome — June 18, 2017 @ 5:22 pm

  38. Greetings! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could get a captcha plugin for my comment
    form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and
    I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

    Comment by hair extensions make — June 19, 2017 @ 7:10 pm

  39. Hmm it seems like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely
    long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
    I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing.
    Do you have any tips for newbie blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.

    Comment by Augusto de Arruda Botelho — June 22, 2017 @ 9:38 am

  40. Every weekend i used to pay a visit this site, because i wish for
    enjoyment, as this this web site conations in fact pleasant funny material too.

    Comment by credit card debt — June 22, 2017 @ 7:42 pm

  41. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment
    is added I get several e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service?
    Thanks a lot!

    Comment by make money in 48 hours — June 25, 2017 @ 6:14 pm

  42. My programmer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the costs.
    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on various websites for
    about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform.
    I have heard great things about blogengine.net.
    Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress posts into it?
    Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

    Comment by Jami — June 27, 2017 @ 8:32 pm

  43. I’m not certain the place you are getting your information, however good topic.
    I must spend some time learning more or figuring out more.
    Thank you for great information I was in search of this information for
    my mission.

    Comment by http://relsvaluation.articulate-online.com — June 27, 2017 @ 11:13 pm

  44. Yes! Finally someone writes about american football.

    Comment by Marcelo — June 28, 2017 @ 3:48 pm

  45. Hi there, I enjoy reading all of your article post.
    I like to write a little comment to support you.

    Comment by Alycia — June 29, 2017 @ 12:02 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress