Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

March 12, 2012

From friends to … wait, what?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:32 am

Going all the way — to Crazytown on September 28, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am still a virgin. This is not a bad thing in my eyes, but it makes me REALLY shy when it comes to dating. I don’t want to have sex until I’m married, or at least engaged, I would even give it up when I’d been dating the guy for more than a year. What worries me, is that my virginity is getting in the way of my dating life. Which brings me to the fact that I’ve only had one boyfriend and that was only for a short month. Boys like me, as far as I can tell, but every time one tries to get me into a relationship, I hesitate, because I don’t like to kiss or makeout. Kissing disgusts me, and I’ve never made-out before, but I don’t think I’d like it. I don’t have much sex drive to tell you the truth. I was really boy crazy when I was younger and in high school, but now I’m not interested in physical stuff; I just want to enjoy the person I’m dating for who they are and how they make me feel, emotionally. I love one man, and he is the only one I would even think about having sex with, but he currently has a girlfriend of 1 year, and is my best guy friend in the world.

ANYWAY, back to my virginity. Is there something wrong with me, if I don’t want to hop in the sack? I’m guessing not, but it seems like the whole world is just going at it like rabbits. Another thing is that I want my husband to be either a virgin, also, or pretty darn close to one. Most guys I meet up with have a pretty large past file, or one I consider too large, and I’m turned off, even to their personality and good sides. And it’s not even like I’m going to sleep with them anyway, so I could at least date them…But the big thing is–I don’t want to be PRESSURED, and I don’t want them to try to pretend that they’ll be patient.

One of my best friends recommended that I ask my best guy friend in the whole world (yes, the one who has a steady girlfriend), to have sex with me so I know whether or not I like it, so I know if it really is something I want to save for marriage or want to experience more sooner. I’m going away to college again, and she suggested that I write him in a letter and ask him if he would be comfortable with having sex with me. She also said that I should explain that I want to experience it with someone I know will not hurt me, will stop if I want them to, and who I know is cautious in his sex life (he’s only slept with his current girlfriend), and also that it would mean nothing to me, other than a big favor from a friend. And what’s crazy and insane is that I actually considered this! First of all, I think it would ruin our great friendship, because we used to kind of see each other on and off, and when I asked for more than friends, he gracefully declined. But I really would like to experience sex from someone I trust so greatly. I’m scared that if I don’t have it now, I’ll never have it, because I don’t think I’ll trust anyone as much as I trust and love him.

Any advice? Should I re-think this experiencing biz? And how do I not let my virginity get in the way of dating?

— Still A Virgin

Dear Still,

Okay, we need to give Breakup Mom a moment to recover. See, in her day, “virginity” and “dating” did not so much interfere with one another. I’m just saying.

But now I just cannot wait any longer to say: NO! A thousand times NO! BG does NOT endorse this “experiencing biz!” For a million reasons, a big one being: you’re not interested. You don’t want to. You’re not all that amped about kissing, and you’re talking about doing the nasty? Also, your logic is waaaaay askew: you’re staying a virgin to keep things special, except for that one time when you have sex that “would mean nothing.” Or, more to the point: you want to have sex so you’ll know if you want to save yourself for marriage? Hmm. And finally: how delightful that you trust and love this your friend; how depressing that you think this is a one-in-forever chance.

All of which says to me: you’re not ready, you’re completely confused, and you’re not all that secure and confident that you’re a tasty babe whom the boys — extra-spiffy boys, without girlfriends — will like no matter how little you put out. And the latter is the key to letting “virginity” and “dating” coexist peacefully and powerfully.

Breakup Girl


  1. Hello my friend! I wish to say that this article is awesome, great written and come with approximately all significant infos.
    I would like to see extra posts like this .

    Comment by Lovie — July 13, 2017 @ 1:06 am

  2. Great blog you have here but I was wondering if you knew of any
    forums that cover the same topics discussed here? I’d really like to be
    a part of group where I can get suggestions from other experienced people that share
    the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
    Many thanks!

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — July 14, 2017 @ 3:06 pm

  3. Now I am going away to do my breakfast, when having my breakfast coming again to read
    further news.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro — July 14, 2017 @ 6:44 pm

  4. I think the admin of this web page is really working hard in support of
    his web page, for the reason that here every stuff is quality based stuff.

    Comment by 4acode.com — July 14, 2017 @ 9:25 pm

  5. Hello to every , for the reason that I am genuinely eager of reading
    this website’s post to be updated regularly. It includes fastidious data.

    Comment by ittefuck.pw — July 15, 2017 @ 1:30 pm

  6. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article
    author for your site. You have some really good posts and I believe I would be a good asset.
    If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some content for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine.

    Please shoot me an email if interested. Kudos!

    Comment by en.itrc.ac.ir — July 15, 2017 @ 7:14 pm

  7. We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our
    community. Your site offered us with valuable information to
    work on. You have done a formidable job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

    Comment by Angelia — July 16, 2017 @ 6:19 am

  8. Unquestionably imagine that which you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be
    at the web the easiest thing to take into accout of.
    I say to you, I definitely get irked at the same time as folks consider worries
    that they plainly do not recognize about. You managed to hit the nail
    upon the highest as well as outlined out the whole thing with no need side effect ,
    people can take a signal. Will likely be again to get more.

    Comment by Luiz Gastão Bittencourt da Silva — July 16, 2017 @ 12:59 pm

  9. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed!
    Very useful info specifically the last part :) I care for such information a lot.
    I was seeking this certain information for a very long time.

    Thank you and best of luck.

    Comment by tailwagz.com.au — July 16, 2017 @ 3:44 pm

  10. My brother suggested I might like this blog. He was totally right.

    This post actually made my day. You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

    Comment by Carlota — July 16, 2017 @ 4:55 pm

  11. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog
    and wished to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.

    After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

    Comment by Virgil — July 18, 2017 @ 3:57 am

  12. Very nice article, just what I wanted to find.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro — July 18, 2017 @ 5:21 pm

  13. Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found
    a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and
    screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally
    off topic but I had to tell someone!

    Comment by pt.wikipedia.org — July 19, 2017 @ 9:16 pm

  14. Right here is the right blog for everyone who wants to find out about this topic.
    You realize a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not
    that I personally will need to…HaHa). You definitely put a
    fresh spin on a topic that’s been written about for years.
    Great stuff, just great!

    Comment by Brian — July 19, 2017 @ 9:31 pm

  15. wh0cd700971 cymbalta 60 mg order prevacid over the counter

    Comment by KennethMaT — July 21, 2017 @ 4:47 am

  16. Hey, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your website in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, terrific blog!

    Comment by https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usurio(a):Egli_Diana_Pinto_Neta — July 21, 2017 @ 11:42 am

  17. I am not sure where you’re getting your information, but
    good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more.
    Thanks for fantastic info I was looking for this info for my mission.

    Comment by Emily — July 23, 2017 @ 10:41 pm

  18. Thanks designed for sharing such a nice thinking, article is fastidious, thats why
    i have read it completely

    Comment by tercio borlenghi jr — July 24, 2017 @ 9:40 am

  19. Thanks on your marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it,
    you are a great author. I will make certain to bookmark
    your blog and will come back in the foreseeable future.
    I want to encourage you continue your great job, have a nice evening!

    Comment by http://sharmawit.com/article.php?id=2517 — July 24, 2017 @ 9:57 pm

  20. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It actually was a enjoyment account it.

    Look complicated to more added agreeable from you! However, how can we keep in touch?

    Comment by Georges Sadala Rihan — July 25, 2017 @ 5:29 pm

  21. I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs
    really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back
    later on. Many thanks

    Comment by Georges Sadala Rihan — July 25, 2017 @ 9:45 pm

  22. Hi! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate!
    He always kept talking about this. I will forward this page to him.

    Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

    Comment by http://withinfp.sakura.ne.jp/eso/index.php/4834892-sporting-events-in-admiration-and-theory-soccer-or-basketball-a/0 — July 26, 2017 @ 1:22 pm

  23. This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger.
    I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent post.

    Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks!

    Comment by Glam Seamless Reviews — July 27, 2017 @ 12:42 am

  24. Appreciate this post. Will try it out.

    Comment by Amber — July 27, 2017 @ 1:10 pm

  25. Very soon this web site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building people,
    due to it’s fastidious articles

    Comment by Lora — July 28, 2017 @ 12:32 pm

  26. Hi, I do think this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I
    am going to come back once again since i have book-marked it.
    Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich
    and continue to help others.

    Comment by Latisha — July 30, 2017 @ 5:29 pm

  27. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you
    wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home
    a bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog.

    A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.

    Comment by Lelio Vieira Carneiro Junior — July 30, 2017 @ 7:28 pm

  28. Very rapidly this site will be famous among all blog visitors, due to it’s nice posts

    Comment by bikersfirst.com — July 31, 2017 @ 5:27 pm

  29. wh0cd826972 [url=http://buspar.us.com/]buspar[/url] [url=http://cialiscost24.us.org/]cialis sale[/url] [url=http://prednisolone247.us.org/]Prednisolone[/url]

    Comment by Alfredzelry — August 2, 2017 @ 4:03 am

  30. You’re so interesting! I don’t suppose I’ve truly read anything like this before.
    So wonderful to find another person with original thoughts
    on this subject matter. Really.. thanks for starting this up.
    This site is one thing that is required on the web,
    someone with a little originality!

    Comment by https://www.cam7.com/external_link/?url=http://ra2.od.ua/engine/redirect.php?url=http://leliovieiracarneirojunior.info/lelio-vieira-carneiro-junior/ — August 5, 2017 @ 12:24 pm

  31. wh0cd140917 [url=http://cymbalta30mg.us.com/]cymbalta 30mg[/url]

    Comment by CharlesBeece — August 5, 2017 @ 9:23 pm

  32. wh0cd287867 [url=http://buyprozac.us.org/]prozac tablets[/url] [url=http://synthroid.us.org/]synthroid[/url] [url=http://celexa.us.org/]Celexa[/url]

    Comment by Alfredzelry — August 7, 2017 @ 3:43 pm

  33. Hi to all, the contents present at this web page are genuinely remarkable for people knowledge,
    well, keep up the good work fellows.

    Comment by http://ptf.com/go/?go=http://ux.nu/BouHZ — August 8, 2017 @ 5:25 pm

  34. Terrific post but I was wanting to know if you could write a litte
    more on this subject? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further.

    Appreciate it!

    Comment by www.hersoruyusor.com — August 8, 2017 @ 6:56 pm

  35. Hi, i think that i noticed you visited my web site thus i got here to return the want?.I’m attempting to
    to find issues to enhance my web site!I assume its adequate to make use of a few of your ideas!!

    Comment by avon business — August 10, 2017 @ 9:06 am

  36. It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.

    I’ve learn this post and if I may I wish to counsel you some attention-grabbing things or
    suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article.
    I want to learn even more things approximately it!

    Comment by apple ipad — August 10, 2017 @ 6:22 pm

  37. It’s truly very complex in this full of activity life to listen news on TV,
    therefore I just use web for that reason, and take the most recent

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — August 13, 2017 @ 1:15 pm

  38. When some one searches for his vital thing, therefore he/she
    wishes to be available that in detail, so that thing is maintained over

    Comment by James Frazer Mann — August 17, 2017 @ 2:18 am

  39. Hello, I think your site might be having browser
    compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Ie, it looks
    fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that,
    excellent blog!

    Comment by James Frazer Mann — August 17, 2017 @ 5:54 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress