Going it alone on September 28, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
Hmm… where to begin. It’s not like this is exactly your typical BG-solved sitch, but then again, maybe it’s worthy of your superpowered consideration. File this under “Surviving when single.”
A bit of background. I’m 27 and single, which I’m fine with — or at least trying to be. It’s getting to the point, though, that lots of my friends are no longer single. I’m WAY fine with that. (Gives me hope.) My two friends from college, and my two friends that they’re married to (roommates married roommates — is that cute or what?) have recently moved into my area. The couples have stayed in pretty close touch. Now, I’m DYING to get together to catch up and reminisce, but there are a few problems.
1. Although I’m fine with being the “odd number,” it could make things a bit weird. I’d ask someone to join me, but talk about your “odd numbers” — have you ever gone along as a “second” out with a bunch of old friends? NOT pretty. How to defuse the tension of being “the lone singleton?”
2. Each couple now has one adorable kid each. This isn’t a problem — I have two stellar nephews to brag about and I can “baby talk” with the best of them. But this makes them getting a babysitter for the cherubs an issue. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, but it’s the parents I want to see. Do I, when arranging this wing-ding, say “adults only” and maybe get turned down because of a lack of sitter (or from being thought rude)?
3. Young families are usually not exactly rolling in dough, which could present a challenge for the locale. I’d invite them to my house, but I share a place and don’t want to inconvenience my roommates. I don’t want to invite myself over to one of their houses, either. Ideas?
Finally, am I making too big of a deal about this? Any assistance appreciated. Thanks!
– Sorority Sistah
There’s a fine line between being extra-considerate and not letting people be grownups and figure stuff out for themselves — and you’re walking it, sistah. In #s 2 and 3, yeah, it’s super nice of you to at least anticipate some of the wrinkles these families might encounter, but it is not your job to smooth them out. Invite them out to a casual yet non-kid-appropriate restaurant, on the later side; the next time, suck it up and do the zoo. As for #1, go it alone. I know it can be hard. But you guys have enough in common, pre-this Shakespearean roommate switcheroo, that presumably you won’t be the odd gal out playing with your straw wrapper while they compare caterers. Bring someone else, and you’ll worry about him, too.
Yes, I’m sure that having children has totally changed their lives, but they are still your buddies. Trust them to meet you halfway.