Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

April 3, 2012

Why can’t I get my stuff back?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:55 am

Growing impatient on October 5, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I dated a guy for six months and he kept telling me that “He thought I was settling” which I know is code for “I want to sleep with other people.” Which was fine with me. So the calls started to dwindle, which I expected, but when it came time to get my personal belongings back he kept stalling. Now he is involved with someone else, and will not return my calls, won’t answer the phone, and won’t even put my stuff in a box and leave it outside for me or mail it. So I have kind of decided to forget about it, but since a couple of the things mean something to me I’m a little pissed at his reluctance.

Why is he basically refusing to give my things back? And when should I go by and bang on his door at 4 AM to get my stuff?? Thanks in advance.

— Fishgirl


Dear Fishgirl,

Are all his boxes and stamps at your house? That could be one thing. Other than that, hmm. Possible motivations for his lack of motivation:

1. He accidentally sold your cardigan at a yard sale and, now that you’re on his trail, is stalling while his aunt knits a facsimile.

2. He is using your belongings as props. Earrings in couch crevasses and peppermint foot lotion on the nightstand visually represent the concept that whomever he’s with is “settling” for someone who’s not planning to settle down quite yet. I’m halfway serious about this one.

3. He just isn’t dealing. You know what, it may not be any more complicated that this. I’m sure your ex is very complex and interesting in other ways, Fishgirl. But this one may not be a conspiracy. People, in general, don’t return calls. People, in general, don’t send their travel buddies copies of the Mazatlan ’98 pictures like they said they would. You know what I mean? He probably just keeps saying to himself, “Oh yeah, I gotta do that.” Just like Breakup Girl has gotta change that spent lightbulb and repot that squished ficus (Hey, Paul?). And/’or, if you want me to get a little psychology on you, well, he probably already thinks he’s a bit on the irresponsible, Bad Person side (witness his line to you about “settling.” A line though it is, it’s telling.), and that heap of his ex’s (your) Q-Tips and Narnia Chronicles — not to mention messages — simply serves as “proof.”

Now, none of this grudging slack-cutting is helping you get your stuff back, is it? If you really want those items, well, I hesitate to tell you to show up unannounced. I guarantee you The New Girlfriend will be there, and she’ll get the idea that he has more of an issue with exes-in-residence than he really does. Not fair to her; unnecessary headaches. So, I don’t know, get him on the phone in person, and ask him nicely once and for all. Tell him you’ll come to him, whatever, whenever. Make it easy for him, I don’t care. If he can’t deal with agreeing to be home, alone, for five minutes, then yeah: the only thing that should be settling is dust. On your stuff. Sorry.

Final note to stuff-leavers: trust me, purge your things immediately after the breakup You’re already in hell — what, one more painful little logistical/symbolic project in breakupia res is gonna make things worse? See, in Fishgirl’s case, the breakup doesn’t seem to have been that big a deal; it’s the reallocation of property that’s making things drag, adding a whole new dimension to the otherwise uncomplicated transaction. Next time: get in, get it, get out. This way, you won’t have to resuffer the blow, reopen the wound, make a date, have a summit. And don’t freak if s/he gives your gifts back, or reclaims his/hers. I’m telling you, it’s all part of the hurting and smarting and purging and healing and cleaning and dealing and protecting and sweeping. Also, the Bettying of potential evidence. Which, if you think about it, is pretty much the same thing.

Love,
Breakup Girl

No Comments »

  1. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you
    wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive
    the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is fantastic blog.
    A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.

    Comment by Mathias — September 10, 2017 @ 1:14 am

  2. walmart drug prices

    ed drugs without prescription

    ed treatment medications

    buying viagra in canada

    Comment by MasonHic — September 10, 2017 @ 9:41 pm

  3. wh0cd7554418 citalopram

    Comment by Michaelclome — September 10, 2017 @ 11:16 pm

  4. using cialis for premature ejaculation
    buy cialis online
    cialis commercial smiling bob
    buy cialis online
    when cialis start working

    Comment by JamesNaike — September 11, 2017 @ 9:57 pm

  5. canada medication

    canadian pharmacy generic viagra

    female viagra

    Comment by Williamsoisk — September 12, 2017 @ 8:04 am

  6. canadian prescription drugstore

    canadian-pharmacy

    best price for generic cialis

    canada meds viagra

    Comment by MasonHic — September 12, 2017 @ 11:37 pm

  7. buy canadian drugs without prescription

    buy brand viagra online

    cheap generic viagra online

    erectile dysfunction drugs online

    buying cialis canada

    Comment by Janicelex — September 13, 2017 @ 5:07 am

  8. order viagra online without a prescription

    viamedic.com

    over the counter viagra

    Comment by Williamsoisk — September 14, 2017 @ 3:36 am

  9. cialis daily warnings
    cialis price
    cialis golf tournament
    cialis cheap
    cialis livraison en 24h

    Comment by CharlesTop — September 16, 2017 @ 1:17 pm

  10. payday loans online

    Comment by RobertFip — September 16, 2017 @ 2:53 pm

  11. dangers of taking cialis
    cialis generic
    cialis e anche ritardante
    generic cialis
    cialis hemorroides

    Comment by HowardLoask — September 16, 2017 @ 3:11 pm

  12. personal loans san diego
    loans for bad credit
    small payday loans for bad credit
    pay day loans

    Comment by SmadeDet — September 17, 2017 @ 2:05 pm

  13. moneyloan
    cash advance
    quick cash loans for bad credit
    payday loans online

    Comment by Quitrub — September 17, 2017 @ 5:38 pm

  14. compare loan
    payday loans
    legit online loans
    payday loans

    Comment by Provand — September 18, 2017 @ 12:41 am

  15. unsecured loans online
    payday loans online
    payday loans in houma la
    payday express

    Comment by hassilt — September 18, 2017 @ 4:14 am

  16. affordable loan
    payday express
    quick and easy loans for bad credit
    pay day loans

    Comment by trothe — September 18, 2017 @ 4:20 pm

  17. payday loans online

    Comment by MikeVow — September 18, 2017 @ 10:54 pm

  18. apply for a personal loan
    loans for bad credit
    colorado payday loans
    payday express

    Comment by trothe — September 18, 2017 @ 11:01 pm

  19. loans short term
    pay day loans
    checking account advance
    personal loans

    Comment by trothe — September 19, 2017 @ 2:17 am

  20. melanoma and viagra
    generic viagra
    viagra ebay
    buy generic viagra

    Comment by apogela — September 20, 2017 @ 7:34 am

  21. viagra young man
    cheap viagra online
    women’s viagra
    generic viagra

    Comment by Provand — September 20, 2017 @ 9:44 am

  22. viagra coupon walgreens
    viagra generic
    how to order viagra
    buy viagra

    Comment by Mydrak — September 20, 2017 @ 9:44 am

  23. viagra duration
    generic viagra
    cialis vs viagra vs levitra
    buy generic viagra

    Comment by attania — September 20, 2017 @ 10:48 am

  24. viagra retail price
    cheap viagra online
    viagra otc
    viagra cheap

    Comment by SmadeDet — September 20, 2017 @ 10:50 am

  25. all natural viagra
    cheap viagra online
    viagra timeline
    cheap viagra online

    Comment by Smignee — September 20, 2017 @ 1:06 pm

  26. viagra online usa
    viagra generic
    cialis and viagra together
    generic viagra online

    Comment by SmadeDet — September 20, 2017 @ 1:59 pm

  27. viagra classification
    cheap viagra
    viagra pricing
    buy viagra online

    Comment by Smignee — September 20, 2017 @ 2:12 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress