Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

April 3, 2012

Why can’t I get my stuff back?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:55 am

Growing impatient on October 5, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I dated a guy for six months and he kept telling me that “He thought I was settling” which I know is code for “I want to sleep with other people.” Which was fine with me. So the calls started to dwindle, which I expected, but when it came time to get my personal belongings back he kept stalling. Now he is involved with someone else, and will not return my calls, won’t answer the phone, and won’t even put my stuff in a box and leave it outside for me or mail it. So I have kind of decided to forget about it, but since a couple of the things mean something to me I’m a little pissed at his reluctance.

Why is he basically refusing to give my things back? And when should I go by and bang on his door at 4 AM to get my stuff?? Thanks in advance.

— Fishgirl

Dear Fishgirl,

Are all his boxes and stamps at your house? That could be one thing. Other than that, hmm. Possible motivations for his lack of motivation:

1. He accidentally sold your cardigan at a yard sale and, now that you’re on his trail, is stalling while his aunt knits a facsimile.

2. He is using your belongings as props. Earrings in couch crevasses and peppermint foot lotion on the nightstand visually represent the concept that whomever he’s with is “settling” for someone who’s not planning to settle down quite yet. I’m halfway serious about this one.

3. He just isn’t dealing. You know what, it may not be any more complicated that this. I’m sure your ex is very complex and interesting in other ways, Fishgirl. But this one may not be a conspiracy. People, in general, don’t return calls. People, in general, don’t send their travel buddies copies of the Mazatlan ’98 pictures like they said they would. You know what I mean? He probably just keeps saying to himself, “Oh yeah, I gotta do that.” Just like Breakup Girl has gotta change that spent lightbulb and repot that squished ficus (Hey, Paul?). And/’or, if you want me to get a little psychology on you, well, he probably already thinks he’s a bit on the irresponsible, Bad Person side (witness his line to you about “settling.” A line though it is, it’s telling.), and that heap of his ex’s (your) Q-Tips and Narnia Chronicles — not to mention messages — simply serves as “proof.”

Now, none of this grudging slack-cutting is helping you get your stuff back, is it? If you really want those items, well, I hesitate to tell you to show up unannounced. I guarantee you The New Girlfriend will be there, and she’ll get the idea that he has more of an issue with exes-in-residence than he really does. Not fair to her; unnecessary headaches. So, I don’t know, get him on the phone in person, and ask him nicely once and for all. Tell him you’ll come to him, whatever, whenever. Make it easy for him, I don’t care. If he can’t deal with agreeing to be home, alone, for five minutes, then yeah: the only thing that should be settling is dust. On your stuff. Sorry.

Final note to stuff-leavers: trust me, purge your things immediately after the breakup You’re already in hell — what, one more painful little logistical/symbolic project in breakupia res is gonna make things worse? See, in Fishgirl’s case, the breakup doesn’t seem to have been that big a deal; it’s the reallocation of property that’s making things drag, adding a whole new dimension to the otherwise uncomplicated transaction. Next time: get in, get it, get out. This way, you won’t have to resuffer the blow, reopen the wound, make a date, have a summit. And don’t freak if s/he gives your gifts back, or reclaims his/hers. I’m telling you, it’s all part of the hurting and smarting and purging and healing and cleaning and dealing and protecting and sweeping. Also, the Bettying of potential evidence. Which, if you think about it, is pretty much the same thing.

Breakup Girl

No Comments »

  1. cialis kaufen 5 mg

    cialis cheap

    cheap cialis

    cialis guadalajara

    Comment by KateChums — May 25, 2017 @ 2:19 pm

  2. online coupons for cialis


    cialis cheap

    20 mg cialis generici 90

    Comment by KateChums — May 25, 2017 @ 2:51 pm

  3. how to take viagra
    http://buyviagragrxonline.com – viagra online
    what would happen if a girl took viagra
    generic viagra

    Comment by piolla — May 25, 2017 @ 3:07 pm

  4. can i take two 5mg of cialis

    cheap cialis

    cialis online

    cialis rezeptfrei 10mg

    Comment by GregChums — May 25, 2017 @ 5:33 pm

  5. ideal generic es cialis

    cialis canada

    cilais price

    comprar cialis portugal

    Comment by GregChums — May 25, 2017 @ 6:03 pm

  6. prix viagra 100 mg pfizer

    generic viagra

    generic viagra

    costco pharmacy viagra

    Comment by KirkChums — May 25, 2017 @ 11:24 pm

  7. viagra tum

    buy viagra online

    viagra online

    viagra ragazzo

    Comment by KirkChums — May 26, 2017 @ 12:09 am

  8. achat cialis par telephon

    buy cialis online

    cialis cheap

    best time to take cialis

    Comment by KateChums — May 26, 2017 @ 2:16 am

  9. apotheke viagra 100

    generic viagra

    viagra 100mg

    cheap ciali or viagra on line

    Comment by BorisChums — May 26, 2017 @ 2:30 am

  10. i use it viagra uses

    http://viagrasoftrxtabs.com/ – viagra

    viagra soft tabs

    discount viagra 150 mg

    Comment by VasilyChums — May 26, 2017 @ 3:42 am

  11. cialis online koln

    cialis buy

    cialis without prescription

    sale cialis online

    Comment by KateChums — May 26, 2017 @ 3:50 am

  12. viagra tablets price in mumbai

    http://viagrasoftrxtabs.com/ – buy viagra online

    viagra online

    what will 10mg of viagra

    Comment by VasilyChums — May 26, 2017 @ 4:17 am

  13. cialis 10mg nebenwirkungen

    cialis without prescription

    cialis pills

    cialis online ?????????

    Comment by KateChums — May 26, 2017 @ 4:26 am

  14. pastillas cialis para que son

    cialis online

    cialis pills

    20 mg cialis generici 90

    Comment by KateChums — May 26, 2017 @ 5:21 am

  15. forum levitra cialis vs vs

    buy cialis

    generic cialis

    find cheap generic cialis

    Comment by KateChums — May 26, 2017 @ 5:56 am

  16. payday loans in fargo nd

    payday advance loan

    payday advance

    first american cash advance cambridge ohio

    Comment by AlexisChums — May 26, 2017 @ 6:02 am

  17. shipping cialis fast

    buy generic cialis

    generic cialis online

    5mg cialis no prescription

    Comment by MichailChums — May 26, 2017 @ 11:30 am

  18. You ought to take part in a contest for one of the finest blogs on the internet.
    I most certainly will highly recommend this site!

    Comment by Joeann — May 26, 2017 @ 12:14 pm

  19. visit web site free viagra

    cheap viagra

    cheap viagra

    viagra receta medica chile

    Comment by BorisChums — May 26, 2017 @ 2:35 pm

  20. pfizer viagra no prescription

    viagra canada

    cheap viagra

    viagra de 50 mg efectos

    Comment by BorisChums — May 26, 2017 @ 2:43 pm

  21. payday loan findlay ohio

    faxless payday advance

    payday advance

    how does interest on cash advance work

    Comment by AlexisChums — May 26, 2017 @ 5:14 pm

  22. how can i get viagra in the uk


    viagra 100mg

    de viagra prescripcion no

    Comment by BorisChums — May 26, 2017 @ 6:41 pm

  23. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time
    a comment is added I get three emails with the same
    comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service?
    Thank you!

    Comment by computer keyboard holder — May 26, 2017 @ 11:09 pm

  24. commander cialis par mail

    generic cialis online

    generic cialis

    pharmacie cialis uk

    Comment by MichailChums — May 27, 2017 @ 12:41 am

  25. we choice generic cialis india

    generic cialis online


    cost 6 cialis 20 mg

    Comment by MichailChums — May 27, 2017 @ 12:49 am

  26. viagra sildenafil generique

    http://viagrasoftrxtabs.com/ – cheap viagra

    buy viagra online

    how to buy viagra in bangkok

    Comment by VasilyChums — May 27, 2017 @ 2:08 am

  27. prices for viagra 100mg

    http://viagrasoftrxtabs.com/ – viagra soft flavoured

    viagra coupon

    when should we take viagra

    Comment by VasilyChums — May 27, 2017 @ 3:01 am

  28. We are a gaggle of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our
    community. Your website provided us with helpful info to work on. You have done a
    formidable process and our whole neighborhood will likely be thankful to you.

    Comment by Leandra — May 27, 2017 @ 8:17 am

  29. I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I’m not certain whether
    this put up is written by way of him as nobody else understand such certain about my
    difficulty. You are wonderful! Thank you!

    Comment by http://58080.com.cn — May 27, 2017 @ 3:43 pm

  30. viagra for men uk cheapest

    online viagra

    viagra cheap

    generique du viagras

    Comment by NadyaChums — May 27, 2017 @ 4:47 pm

  31. generic viagra 20 50mg

    buy viagra canada

    cheap viagra

    viagra fast shipping 50 mg

    Comment by BorisChums — May 27, 2017 @ 5:17 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress