e-mail to a friend in needThis week at Happen: Did she read him wrong?
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.
This week Lynn hears from a gal who asks, How do I stop caring? She was hurt by a guy who hasn’t spoken to her since they did the deed:
The date before was wonderful, the sexual chemistry was great. I understand that one night does not mean any sort of relationship whatsoever. What I do not understand is his apparently not wanting to even speak to me afterwards.
What’s going on with this guy? How can she deal? Read the full letter at Happen along with Lynn’s response, then give us your own thoughts below!
I can’t say for certain what is going on with that guy, but I’m quite certain that his reasons have everything to do with him, and nothing to do with her.
Four years ago I dated a woman for six weeks, then she suddenly disappeared. I emailed her and left a voice mail, and I got no response. After a couple weeks, I shrugged it off and resumed dating.
Several months later, I ran across her again. She apologized for disappearing on me. As far as I could tell, her reasons for disappearing without a word were a combination of the following:
1. She was insanely busy at work.
2. She was moving 1,000 miles away (for a career move) and didn’t want to get entangled in a relationship.
3. She didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness of trying to break things off directly.
4. She (probably) just wasn’t that into me.
Even reason #4 isn’t about me. It’s about how she feels.
There obviously were much better ways for her to end things. But when a relationship ends suddenly, with no explanation, don’t torture yourself about it. The other person’s behavior isn’t about you.
Comment by Karl R — April 19, 2012 @ 6:41 pm
HI Karl! Spot on as always. (Though I’m sorry she disappeared!)
Comment by Breakup Girl — April 19, 2012 @ 10:23 pm