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April 17, 2012

Diagnosis: Breakup

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:27 am

Getting a second opinion on October 5, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

It started about four months ago. I met a wonderful guy who I thought would be the ONE. I wasn’t really looking at the time for anyone serious. Things started out fast and furious. Spent all of our time together and never fought. Two months into the relationship I mysteriously contract the Herpes virus. He tells me he doesn’t have it and also that it won’t interfere with the relationship. Soon after he starts to become distant. I really don’t think anything of it, thinking he just has some added stress. We continue on a healthy path for another month. Then 4 days ago he breaks up with me because (1) he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. He just wants to be “alone”. He had been alone for 2 years before meeting me. And (2) he isn’t sure that he can handle the Herpes thing anymore. I know that I am better off without someone who can’t deal with the virus, but don’t you think he owes me an explanation about why he suddenly changed his mind. I also would really like to know if he lied to me all along about whether or not he had the virus. I think he owes me that.

— Suzi

Dear Suzi,

Yep, he kinda does owe you. More data about the virus, not about the breakup. It’s an important health issue, simple as that. Ask him point-blank. But nicely, non-accusingly. What does he have to lose? You’re already broken up. He may not offer much, but you’re totally allowed — encouraged — to ask. Also, I recommend you find a support or social group for like-virused people. You’d thought of that already, right? Please take care of yourself.

Breakup Girl


  1. Uh yeah. Sorry to break it to you, but he did lie to you. He had it all along, and is now ditching you so he doesn’t have to face the fact that he had it and THEN lied to you. The first outbreak occurs within two weeks of exposure. I know, because I have it, from my ex-boyfriend.

    It is possible he didn’t KNOW he had it; he may have been asymptomatic. But, being that he is in essence trying to make it look like you cheated instead of getting checked himself, makes me believe he had it.

    Comment by artsycat — May 9, 2012 @ 10:41 am

  2. … Yep. :(

    Comment by Breakup Girl — May 9, 2012 @ 9:25 pm

  3. Trust me on this one, he gave it to you and does’nt want to own up on it. I got mine from mine from an unfaithful husband .He has lied to you in the past and he is lying to you now. At this moment you need to put yourself first ,its not the end of the world but your world has changed because of him . Take care of yourself NOW!!

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