e-mail to a friend in needThe Inscrutable Bus Boy!
Commuting sentences on October 12, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I like this girl that rides my bus, but I’m kinda shy and can’t get the nerve to approach her… (pretty common problem, I guess). Anyways, It’s really hard becuz she is the shy type too and quiet… So I keep trying to think of some way to start a conversation with her without
1. coming off as a jerk (i.e. what I say sounds like a line) or
2. just plain freaking her out.
We don’t have any classes together, which makes it HARD to talk to her as I’ve said. Also, she lives in my neighborhood but I’ve never noticed her before and don’t know where she lives. Got any ideas? I would appreciate your help extremely.
– Chris
Dear Chris,
Yep, totally common problem. You may be shy, but you also may be … human. We can work with that. How about, “Hey, it seems like you live in my neighborhood, but I don’t think I’ve seen you around until now. Did you move here recently?” That’s a pretty freak-free opening. Can’t imagine that she wouldn’t be flattered.
And hey, flygirls: If Bus Boy hasn’t talked to you, don’t assume that he doesn’t want to. He could be writing to BG about you right now.
Love,
Breakup Girl
If a casual “how to” line was the answer, then eventually anyone will figure out hwo to say something. It’s not the introductory remarks that are the problem, it is busboy’s intentions and hopes that are the problem. If his goal was to meet someone and be friends, then there is no risk in the approach. If he went up to her and began to talk to her like she was his sister, then the worst that comes out of it is a nice casual conversation or a new acquaintance, and possibly even a friend. However, if the hope is that a real “relationship” is his goal, then he has set himself up for high risk. His focus should be to be friendly or nice. Be intentional about being a blessing in conversation. If the young woman was 70 yrs old, could busboy approach her? What if it was another guy? Choosing to be a blessing regardless of the outcome only has rewards. No risk. Busboy should change his focus upon himself and place it on the young woman and the others on his bus.
Comment by Don — April 29, 2012 @ 12:57 pm
Nicely, put, Don. Thanks for commenting!
Comment by Breakup Girl — April 29, 2012 @ 9:22 pm