Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

May 2, 2012

Confused yet satisfied

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:49 am

Sex with an Ex on October 12, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Let’s-call-him-Jack and I have been broken up for nearly six months after dating for nearly 3 years. We tried the friend thing for a while and it worked out quite nicely except I foolishly took every nicety as a sign that he wanted me back. But now I know that just isn’t going to happen and I’m fine with it, although I still think about him every day, multiple times a day. However, I sort of have the hots for someone else AND am enjoying being single. My question is, Jack and I started sleeping together again in late June (we broke up in March) and have done it 5 times since then. We are always drunk when this happens but the sex is INCREDIBLE. The first few times he would not kiss me and we would not cuddle afterwards, just roll over and go to sleep. However, I mentioned the no-kissing policy made me feel like a prostitute so the last two times he has kissed me and held me BEFORE and AFTER we did it. The problem is, I know it is stupid to have sex with an ex, but what if it is REALLY good and you aren’t nursing false hopes of reconciliation? Also, what’s up with the kissing thing? Please help!!!

— Confused yet Satisfied

Dear Confused yet Satisfied,

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: of course the sex rocks your world. There’s no aphrodisiac like a breakup. As in, “You look great without … commitment.”

I’ll also take your word for it that you’re not nursing false hopes. And I will allow that sex with an ex can offer fond, old-home-week satisfaction (or we-shouldn’t-be-doing-this passion) — all without the hassle of, you know, meeting someone. Or getting to know them. Fine.

But there are two ick factors here. One is, yes, the kissing. I know he did it the last couple times. But I cringe to hear someone all excited to report that someone s/he had sex with them kissed them too! Now, I don’t want to impose emotions on you, but — you sorta said it yourself — doesn’t the kissing-coaching kinda make it feel like this wild thing is exactly that … a thing? Something separate from you. Something not about you, not about furtive reunions and spicy nostalgia. It just sounds … covenient. Bleah.

That said, my main concern is not about this recycled relationship per se. I’m just worried that it’s gonna hold you back from the next one — or, for that matter, from your next period of healthy, restorative singlehood. It’s the Sorta factor: you’re sorta seeing someone who makes you feel sorta good. And that — well, let’s just say this — for your strength, standards, or self-esteem…don’t do Jack.

Breakup Girl


  1. This blog is pretty confusing.Or maybe it’s just me lol.

    I’m not really gonna touch on the intricate details on this post.But I do wanna say that women need to stop using the excuse of,”He fooled me,I thought he loved me”,for their own mistakes.

    So women should learn to take responsibility for they shit,and stop blaming the guy for his niceties,etc.

    Comment by Socialkenny — May 6, 2012 @ 4:40 pm

  2. Hi Socialkenny,
    Thanks for your comments. You are correct that people should not blame others for their own, er, stuff. But that’s true of both men and women, in any kind of relationship.
    Just wanted to expand the context a bit. Please keep reading and commenting!

    Comment by Breakup Girl — May 6, 2012 @ 8:23 pm

  3. http://propranolol.club/ – propranolol tablets http://bupropion.stream/ – bupropion 150 mg http://genericvaltrex.eu/ – valtrex

    Comment by ashoml0oxzx — October 3, 2016 @ 7:29 pm

  4. Hello, its good paragraph on the topic of media print, we all know media is a
    great source of facts.

    Comment by Dexter — October 13, 2016 @ 2:02 pm

  5. What i don’t realize is actually how you are now not really much
    more neatly-appreciated than you might be now. You’re so
    intelligent. You realize thus significantly in terms
    of this matter, produced me individually consider it
    from numerous various angles. Its like women and men aren’t interested
    until it is something to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs outstanding.
    All the time care for it up!

    Comment by Chastity — October 18, 2016 @ 9:47 pm

  6. Its such as you read my thoughts! You seem to understand a lot about
    this, like you wrote the ebook in it or something. I believe that you could do with some % to
    drive the message home a bit, but other than that, that is great blog.
    A great read. I’ll certainly be back.

    Comment by Danial — April 22, 2017 @ 7:32 pm

  7. wh0cd727985 buy viagra

    Comment by Caseynen — April 24, 2017 @ 10:02 pm

  8. I take pleasure in, lead to I found just what I was having a look for.
    You have ended my four day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have
    a great day. Bye

    Comment by http://eglidianapinto.edublogs.org/2017/04/27/unemployment-therefore-the-moneymaking-at-home-business/ — April 27, 2017 @ 7:33 pm

  9. Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!

    Comment by car computer exchange — April 29, 2017 @ 1:57 am

  10. We stumbled over here coming from a different web
    page and thought I should check things out.

    I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to checking out your web page repeatedly.

    Comment by Willard — April 30, 2017 @ 1:08 pm

  11. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied
    on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why
    waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog
    when you could be giving us something informative to read?

    Comment by pt.wikipedia.org — May 2, 2017 @ 1:57 am

  12. After I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are
    added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I
    receive 4 emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there
    is a means you can remove me from that service? Cheers!

    Comment by http://chicagocovenant.org/xe/?document_srl=756565 — May 2, 2017 @ 8:48 pm

  13. Have you ever considered about including a little bit more than just your articles?
    I mean, what you say is important and everything.
    But think about if you added some great images
    or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with images
    and video clips, this site could certainly be one of the greatest in its niche.
    Amazing blog!

    Comment by Jamie Frazer-mann — May 3, 2017 @ 2:36 am

  14. I simply could not depart your website prior to suggesting that I actually
    loved the usual info an individual supply in your guests?
    Is gonna be back often to inspect new posts

    Comment by http://www.electronicmobile.com.au — May 3, 2017 @ 3:44 am

  15. I’m gone to tell my little brother, that he should also go to see this blog on regular basis to take updated
    from newest reports.

    Comment by Gemma — May 3, 2017 @ 11:57 am

  16. Keep on working, great job!

    Comment by Manuela — May 3, 2017 @ 10:03 pm

  17. Hmm is anyone else having problems with the images on this blog
    loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.

    Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

    Comment by http://www.whl5.com/ — May 5, 2017 @ 2:39 am

  18. This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
    I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of
    your great post. Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks!

    Comment by Ariane Slinger ace — May 6, 2017 @ 5:11 am

  19. I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or
    weblog posts on this sort of space . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this
    site. Reading this information So i’m glad to exhibit that I’ve an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed.
    I most indubitably will make sure to do not disregard this website and provides it a glance on a constant

    Comment by Stepanie — May 7, 2017 @ 1:21 am

  20. Whats up are using WordPress for your blog platform?
    I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own. Do you need
    any html coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!

    Comment by Vincent — May 9, 2017 @ 11:17 am

  21. Hey! This is my first visit to your blog!
    We are a team of volunteers and starting a
    new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on. You have done a extraordinary job!

    Comment by susah makan pada anak — May 10, 2017 @ 5:44 am

  22. It’s very effortless to find out any matter on web
    as compared to books, as I found this post at this

    Comment by car computer chip — May 12, 2017 @ 2:00 pm

  23. Hi there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group?
    There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content.
    Please let me know. Cheers

    Comment by specialist offering diagnostics — May 14, 2017 @ 1:42 pm

  24. Pretty component to content. I simply stumbled upon your site
    and in accession capital to say that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your weblog
    posts. Anyway I will be subscribing for your feeds and even I success you get
    entry to consistently quickly.

    Comment by luscious indian wave — May 16, 2017 @ 9:33 am

  25. Asking questions are actually good thing if you are not understanding something entirely, however this post offers fastidious understanding yet.

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — May 17, 2017 @ 11:50 am

  26. Hey! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone
    3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading through
    your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry
    on the fantastic work!

    Comment by pt-br.facebook.com — May 25, 2017 @ 5:17 am

  27. Fastidious replies in return of this issue with real arguments
    and describing all regarding that.

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 25, 2017 @ 6:27 am

  28. Incredible points. Great arguments. Keep up the amazing spirit.

    Comment by dream safari vacation — May 25, 2017 @ 3:54 pm

  29. What a information of un-ambiguity and preserveness of
    precious familiarity on the topic of unpredicted feelings.

    Comment by plein air — May 26, 2017 @ 7:29 am

  30. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on xem bong da.

    Comment by xem truc tiep bong da online — May 27, 2017 @ 9:06 pm

  31. You actually make it seem really easy with your presentation however
    I to find this topic to be really one thing that I feel I might by no means understand.
    It kind of feels too complex and extremely vast for me.
    I am taking a look ahead on your subsequent put up, I’ll try to get the hold of it!

    Comment by airc conditioning — May 28, 2017 @ 12:00 am

  32. Thanks for a marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you happen to be a great author.
    I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back down the road.

    I want to encourage yourself to continue your great writing,
    have a nice holiday weekend!

    Comment by resorts network opportunity — May 28, 2017 @ 8:03 pm

  33. We are a bunch of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our
    community. Your web site offered us with useful information to work
    on. You’ve done a formidable process and our entire neighborhood will probably be grateful to

    Comment by Don — May 28, 2017 @ 8:24 pm

  34. Hi there, I would like to subscribe for this weblog to take latest updates, therefore where can i do it please
    help out.

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 30, 2017 @ 2:50 am

  35. Spot on with this write-up, I really believe this amazing
    site needs far more attention. I’ll probably be returning to
    read more, thanks for the information!

    Comment by Agnes — May 31, 2017 @ 8:32 pm

  36. I’m not sure exactly why but this weblog is loading very slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this problem or is it a problem on my end?
    I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

    Comment by José Wilame Araújo Rodrigues — June 6, 2017 @ 9:23 am

  37. Hello to every one, the contents existing at this site are in fact
    awesome for people knowledge, well, keep up the nice work fellows.

    Comment by pt.wikipedia.org — June 11, 2017 @ 3:24 pm

  38. Link exchange is nothing else however it is just placing the other person’s blog
    link on your page at suitable place and other
    person will also do similar for you.

    Comment by Saul — June 12, 2017 @ 2:32 pm

  39. Hi, yeah this paragraph is truly fastidious and I have learned lot of things from it on the topic of blogging.


    Comment by banks in prattville al — June 12, 2017 @ 10:33 pm

  40. I think the admin of this web site is in fact working hard in support of his web
    page, as here every data is quality based material.

    Comment by www.resn8.com — June 21, 2017 @ 2:26 pm

  41. WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching for advanced
    vehicle diagnostics

    Comment by dual os car pc — June 21, 2017 @ 8:10 pm

  42. You should take part in a contest for one of the highest quality sites on the internet.

    I’m going to highly recommend this site!

    Comment by business security — June 22, 2017 @ 12:37 am

  43. Just desire to say your article is as astounding. The clarity for your
    put up is just excellent and that i could assume you’re a professional on this subject.
    Well along with your permission allow me to grasp your RSS feed to keep up
    to date with approaching post. Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.

    Comment by https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usurio(a):Augusto_de_Arruda_Botelho — June 22, 2017 @ 2:45 pm

  44. I enjoy what you guys tend to be up too. This type of
    clever work and reporting! Keep up the good works guys I’ve included you guys to blogroll.

    Comment by Andy — June 22, 2017 @ 4:51 pm

  45. Appreciating the commitment you put into your blog and detailed information you present.

    It’s nice to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same
    outdated rehashed material. Excellent read!
    I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    Comment by apps.alus.co — June 24, 2017 @ 2:17 pm

  46. A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. I do think that you need to write more on this subject,
    it may not be a taboo subject but usually people do not talk about such subjects.
    To the next! All the best!!

    Comment by Damon — June 24, 2017 @ 11:09 pm

  47. Pretty portion of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to say that I acquire in fact
    loved account your weblog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feeds or
    even I achievement you get right of entry to persistently quickly.

    Comment by Rolando — June 24, 2017 @ 11:57 pm

  48. Howdy! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results.
    If you know of any please share. Many thanks!

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 25, 2017 @ 10:47 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress