Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 512

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 527

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 534

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 570

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1244

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1442

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 431

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/query.php on line 61

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/theme.php on line 1109

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 31

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Http in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/http.php on line 61
Breakup Girl » Approachability is the new black
Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

May 22, 2012

Approachability is the new black

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:23 am

Style advice from October 12, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I guess that I am one of those “unapproachable” girls that you suggest that your readers try not to be. I am an attractive and active university student and I have many friends from different social groups. The problem is that I am old fashioned and WILL NOT ask a guy out (all right, I am shy too). It would be deceiving if I said that no one ever asked me out, but I guess I am looking for something other than what is being offered. I have been told many times that I look unapproachable, though. I wear a lot of black (but my hair is blonde); sometimes I think that changing my look would secure me more dates but then I realize that I shouldn’t have to change myself for anyone. My question is not “what is wrong with me,” but “what can I do (without totally changing myself) to make myself more approachable?”

– Tara


Dear Tara,

First of all, changing your look in order to secure dates will secure nothing. Not dates, not your sense of self. You might look good, objectively, at first glance, but you won’t feel right. And that — at second glance — is where looking good comes from.

That said, I still think you should do a fashion check. Now stay with me. Your question reminded me of one of those Sally Jesse episodes where they take all these goth kids and make them over into the cast of 90210. Half the kids actually looked way better — and way happier! — a la Beverly, while the other half, in my opinion, should have gone straight back to black. The latter group, I think, are the ones for whom the gothed-out look was truly a natural, fanciful self-expression. As for the first half, on the other hand, their old look really just said, “THE ONLY POINT OF FASHION IS TO LOOK REALLY SURLY AND BADASS AND FREAK OUT MY PARENTS.”

Relevance to you? I don’t mean that just ’cause you wear a lotta black, you’re totally goth, nor that there’s anythingwrong with that if you are. Whatever. I just want to make sure that how you put yourself together nowdoes come from your natural, most sincere, happy-to-be-me — not Confirmed to be Unapproachable — inner stylist. Do you see what I mean? No, you shouldn’t change yourself for anyone. But feel free to change if the way you’ve been wasn’t true to yourself in the first place. When how you look — and act! don’t let’s forget that! — accurately reflects who you are, then boys who appreciate that won’t just approach, they’ll stampede.

Love,
Breakup Girl

1 Comment »

  1. How to make yourself appear more approachable:
    1. Make eye contact.
    2. Smile.

    Unless you’re doing both of those, your body language is telling men that you *aren’t* interested in them. The men who will ignore this are the ones who are socially inept, or the ones who are cocky.

    Comment by Karl R — May 22, 2012 @ 5:04 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class sk2_plugin in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugin_class.php on line 45

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_captcha_plugin::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_captcha_plugin.php on line 70

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_pjw_simpledigest::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_pjw_daily_digest_plugin.php on line 277

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_rbl_plugin::treat_this() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::treat_this(&$cmt_object) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_rbl_plugin.php on line 342

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_referrer_check_plugin::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_referrer_check_plugin.php on line 78
[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress