Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 512

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 527

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 534

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-settings.php on line 570

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1244

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1442

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/cache.php on line 431

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/query.php on line 61

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/theme.php on line 1109

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 31

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Http in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-includes/http.php on line 61
Breakup Girl » El Duderino Too
Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

July 6, 2012

El Duderino Too

Filed under: Advice — posted by Abby @ 9:20 am

The Predicament of the Week from October 26, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I was rather honored to have been the elected The Predicament of The Week the last time I wrote. I write again to update you on the latest development. I’m sorry to take up so much of your time.

I don’t know if it was a coincidence or a divine intervention of your Superhero-ness, but after I last wrote, I met this incredibly interesting woman who is in many ways similar to Golden Girl (scary thought, isn’t it?) except that she’s Japanese.

I have a very tight-knit group of friends who are acerbic, iconoclastic, with oh-so strange senses of humor and she fits right in, like fresh cod in steamed spring rolls. She can take it and she can dish it, so to speak. She can drink all of us under the table, and yet, look so damn elegant at the same time. This is a woman with “passion and intelligence born of living and the ability to move or be moved by the subtleties of mind and spirit.” This is a woman to whom the difference between a pasture and meadow seemed important. Words just flow out of her lips like “the silver apples of the moon/the golden apples of the sun.” This I describe with the utmost objectivity I can muster, I swear.

Here’s the catch. She is relocating away, for economic reasons. What seems inevitable is a choice of pursuing a long distance relationship or “fogeddaboudit.” I have a feeling that she had been understandably holding back on her feelings because of the impending move. I too did not pressure her to say anything for or against a possible relationship. What’s the point, really? You can’t give an answer when you don’t have it, right?

I have continued sending her flowers and cooking her pasta and going for classical concerts with her in the meantime while the uncertainty hangs in the wet and humid air. Generally opening up my heart as per your advice, I find myself on a cross road again, seeking more advice. I’m mature enough to let someone “go” and resign myself to treasure whatever time I can spend with her before her departure. But my heart sinks as I stand here again on my balcony, the wind chimes are motionless, but Puccini is on the radio. They say when you fall in love you hear Puccini in your head, but the music is somewhat static tonight.

In my own quiet way, I continue to love her. On the surface, I put up a cheerful face and try not to burden her with my sadness of the impending loss. Inside, I wonder if God is testing me (yeah, like, for sainthood?). Is it always THIS difficult? Will too many good byes kill a man?

– El Duderino


Dear Duderino Dos,

Back on the balcony, huh? Well, I will say that your muse sounds like a truly righteous babe. And I am so sorry she’s splitting. That SUCKS.

But now I need to get a little more hardcore. With all due respect, Dude, your prose is as purple as the fresh eggplant in Breakup Girl’s favorite dish at Lemongrass. I am not saying that it’s not often lovely and evocative. And I am not criticizing you as a writer/editor, I am trying to help you out as a superhero. Because if we take to heart the truism that language is thought, then what I am saying is that if you edit down your prose — that is, not so much in your letters to Breakup Girl, but in the way you tell yourself the story of your life — then you will edit down your angst.

See, to quote myself, it “sucks” that your Mimi is splitting. It just “sucks.” No poetry there. No iambic pentameter, no opera seria, no symbolism. It does not MEAN anything. It is not a “test” or anything else otherwise epic or fateful. I said to open up your heart (whatever that really means); I didn’t say the very next person who enjoyed your risotto would, like magic, step in. And remember, I also diagnosed you as an artist at heart. And what you are doing now — still — is Artifying Life. Heck, fair enough, that’s why we have … art. And, of course, you’re doing your job as a sentient human, which is: to ascribe make-sense-of-it meaning to stuff. But what if your approach were a little more … Mamet? Life and love have enough drama all by themselves, without your punching up the script.Don’t lose the passion and beauty and richness of everything/one you love and enjoy, but do break down the fourth wall.

So if you actually do want to declare your love, I warmly invite you to do so. Why not? It’s not some divine hand that’s making you a lonely martyr; it’s the one you’re writing with. So if you do go for it, do both of you a favor: don’t send her up to your balcony so you can Romeo your plea from below. Just: tell her.

Love,
Breakup Girl

PS And should you need additional practical advice, read my column on long-distance relationships.

1 Comment »

  1. The way I see it, there are two things to do - tell her or not tell her.

    If you don’t tell her; then two things might happen - you will regret not telling her or you will forget about it altogether.

    If you forget about it; then it’s no problem. If you live with regrets…well, it sucks, but it isn’t really much of a problem.

    If you tell her; then two things might happen - she will say she feels the same or she will say she doesn’t.

    If she says she doesn’t; then it will hurt a bit, but it will give you time to put things in perspective before she leaves. It doesn’t have to change the way you feel for her, but it might make moving on a bit easier.

    If she says she does; then three things might happen - things continue as they are until she leaves or you have a hot sexy romance until she leaves or you both decide to protect yourselves and forget about pursuing things.

    If you forget about pursuing things; then it will hurt for a while and you’ll move on.

    If things continue as they are; then you will enjoy whatever time you have left, knowing that you have a really good friend who feels the same way about you as you feel about her.

    If you two have a wild, passionate, hot relationship until she leaves; then you have three choices: give up and find someone else; do the long-distance thing; or you move with her. I’m not going into the benefits of each of those, but they are options to consider.

    Comment by Tomio Black — July 10, 2012 @ 11:12 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class sk2_plugin in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugin_class.php on line 45

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_captcha_plugin::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_captcha_plugin.php on line 70

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_pjw_simpledigest::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_pjw_daily_digest_plugin.php on line 277

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_rbl_plugin::treat_this() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::treat_this(&$cmt_object) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_rbl_plugin.php on line 342

Strict Standards: Declaration of sk2_referrer_check_plugin::output_plugin_UI() should be compatible with sk2_plugin::output_plugin_UI($output_dls = true) in /home/cdkalb/breakupgirl.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/SK2/sk2_plugins/sk2_referrer_check_plugin.php on line 78
[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress