Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

August 10, 2012

Scone Boy Rides Again

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:21 am

A Bonus Predicament from November 2, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Thank you so much for answering my letter last week. Actually, when you wrote the “Friends to Lovers” column the week after I sent it, I sort of figured that it applied to me, so that you’d already responded, and I realized I should consider taking the advice in that column. There hasn’t been any closure to the story yet, but I just wanted to answer the very insightful points you brought up:

>1. “We ended up pretty much revealing our feelings
> for each other.” Pretty much? Was this revelation,
> on her part, a sober, solid, lucid statement of
> fact/lust? Or, perhaps, did you make the first
> confession, and then go on to inflate her
> Chianti-enhanced, engagement-jittery being-nice
> rejoinder

What I meant is, we kissed that night. Trust me, I always recheck audio tracks — as you noticed, I read texts very closely (I used to think this tendency was beneficial), and it was definitely her who made the first confession. I was more surprised than anybody that the subject ever came up. (OK, perhaps there was a small Chianti element, but I know I was completely avoiding the topic, for fear of jeopardizing our friendship.)

> The voice of caution, however, would like to note
> that BG does not hear from you anywhere near the
> level of love-or-die urgency she did from G. It’s not
> even at the level of publish or perish.

No, it’s love or die all right. It is also certainly at the level of publish or perish, as in *if she’s not there I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive school anymore.* I was just trying to tone down the emotion so that I could right a reasonably clear and concise message. You should have seen me dejected and pouting for about two months after she left for the summer. (My friends all thought I was like that character in Swingers, except I never broke out of it.) The Guy at the End of the Bar is right about this one. But I haven’t had a chance recently to take anyone’s advice. Here’s a brief update, showing that things are, if anything, even more unclear now than when I wrote you (at least to me):

The other weekend was gorgeous, and I called her to see if she wanted to do something. Unfortunately, her fiance was in town (big faux pas on my part). Somehow, we ended up going out for the afternoon; he didn’t come along. It was very hard to understand how this happened (and I wasn’t about to ask). A few days later, she called me and we talked and tentatively set something up for this weekend — assuming I got out from under all the work I had — but she stood me up, meaning she never called to follow up. (She wasn’t there when I finally gave up and tried to call her.) I still don’t know what happened. (And I was rather upset.) She’s never stood me up before, so I’m a little scared that for some reason our friendship is Over and I’m the last to find out, but the more rational part of me says that that would be an over-hasty conclusion, and that it’s really just another set of very confusing signals I’m getting.

Update within an update: I called her last night, she seemed happy to hear from me, and she said that this past weekend a relative of her fiance had been in town, which seems to be why Saturday didn’t work out. That and the fact that she was sending out job applications, which was a discomforting reminder that this is, ultimately, a transient lifestyle.

So, I’m still confused about all this, but I have gotten some good pointers on what to do about it. Thanks for your help, and I hope to let you know how it turns out.

Also, I’ve declared a unilateral moratorium on baked goods.

— (Former) Scone Boy


Dear FSB,

Okay, I’m glad to hear that you’ve stepped away fom the pastry flour, but I’m not glad to hear that you sidestepped your true angst in the interest of being “clear and concise.” breakupgirl.net is where you DON’T have to rein it in, you guys. If Duderino had consciously/disingenuously toned it down, I’d never have gotten his number. See, I rarely need to read between y’all’s lines. And I don’t really like to take that liberty. I generally trust that you will say what you need to say and tell me what I need to know. I try to follow this brilliant adage from Suzette Hayden Elgin, Ph.D., “If your partner says ‘The toaster talked to me,’ the correct response is, ‘What did it say?'” So you guys: don’t dis-serve yourselves. Tell me the whole big messy confessional; doesn’t have to be long, just has to be true. That way I’ll give you whole advice. Okay?

So. While Breakup Girl’s reading may not have been close enough, some of yours is indeed too close. At this point you are driving yourself nuts analyzing the phone silence and vocal tones of someone who — yes, kissed you — but who is also: engaged. Yes, she may be confused, and yes, she may very well have feelings for you. AND, if there’s any time those pesky non-monogamous feelings are going to grope their way to the top, it’s when she’s fixing to walk her way down that way-monogamous aisle. If you are not willing to make your plea on bended knee, Guy at the End of the Bar style, you have got to back off. DO IT FOR YOU. And if that is as hard as I imagine it will be, it’s officially okay to whip up some gingerbread, or at least some toaster pop-tarts. FOR YOU.

Love,
Breakup Girl

No Comments »

  1. cheap clindamycin

    Comment by ashomybqc5c — July 14, 2016 @ 12:28 pm

  2. lipitor glucophage advair

    Comment by ashomfrszmw — July 18, 2016 @ 1:04 pm

  3. elimite lotion lexapro generic valtrex prices viagra

    Comment by ashomf8nlsc — August 1, 2016 @ 9:44 pm

  4. crestor allopurinol buy lexapro torsemide 5 mg

    Comment by ashomf8rdnv — August 4, 2016 @ 10:23 am

  5. http://losartanhydrochlorothiazide.webcam/ – losartan hydrochlorothiazide http://synthroidgeneric.bid/ – synthroid http://cialis-10-mg.trade/ – daily cialis cost http://buy-allopurinol.webcam/ – buy allopurinol http://prednisonesteroid.cricket/ – prednisone mg http://cialis-5mg.cricket/ – cialis 5 mg http://arava.top/ – arava

    Comment by ashombsbe12 — August 5, 2016 @ 7:37 am

  6. glucophage buy prednisolone 5mg cleocin gel phenergan buy risperdal

    Comment by ashom8wu59t — August 21, 2016 @ 8:17 pm

  7. wellbutrin prescription generic suhagra levitra singulair singulair

    Comment by ashomy4sem4 — August 22, 2016 @ 1:09 am

  8. generic wellbutrin crestor cheapest generic cialis

    Comment by ashom9wnd5g — August 26, 2016 @ 7:15 pm

  9. isoniazid prophylaxis lasix buy zoloft

    Comment by ashomd3uh1p — August 27, 2016 @ 12:52 am

  10. What’s up i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anyplace,
    when i read this piece of writing i thought i could also create comment due to this sensible post.

    Comment by Jed — April 22, 2017 @ 4:54 pm

  11. wh0cd396096 Viagra Over The Counter

    Comment by Dorothyaxogy — April 24, 2017 @ 2:50 am

  12. It’s really a cool and helpful piece of information. I am glad that you just shared this useful info with us.
    Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

    Comment by Normand — April 24, 2017 @ 5:54 pm

  13. I think this is one of the most important info for
    me. And i am glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things, The web site style is great,
    the articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers

    Comment by Barbara — April 25, 2017 @ 1:02 pm

  14. You ought to be a part of a contest for one of the
    most useful sites online. I’m going to recommend this blog!

    Comment by Megan — April 27, 2017 @ 5:54 am

  15. Wow that was odd. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit
    my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to
    say wonderful blog!

    Comment by Molly — April 27, 2017 @ 7:16 pm

  16. Good post. I will be facing a few of these issues as well..

    Comment by Billy — April 28, 2017 @ 9:02 am

  17. I always spent my half an hour to read this webpage’s articles every day
    along with a mug of coffee.

    Comment by Chi — May 1, 2017 @ 7:39 pm

  18. I’m not sure where you are getting your info, but good topic.

    I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding
    more. Thanks for fantastic information I was looking for this info for my
    mission.

    Comment by aiswiki.wustl.edu — May 3, 2017 @ 1:08 am

  19. Hey there! I’ve been following your blog for some time
    now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Humble Texas!

    Just wanted to mention keep up the fantastic work!

    Comment by Kimberly — May 3, 2017 @ 10:30 pm

  20. Appreciating the dedication you put into your site and in depth information you present.
    It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while
    that isn’t the same unwanted rehashed information. Fantastic read!
    I’ve saved your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    Comment by Russ — May 4, 2017 @ 2:08 am

  21. Hello, i feel that i noticed you visited my blog thus i came to
    return the prefer?.I am trying to to find issues to improve
    my website!I guess its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

    Comment by Ariane Slinger — May 5, 2017 @ 11:30 pm

  22. Hi there everyone, it’s my first pay a visit at this site, and article is actually fruitful in support of me, keep
    up posting these articles or reviews.

    Comment by Stormy — May 9, 2017 @ 12:40 am

  23. This blog was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve found something which
    helped me. Thanks a lot!

    Comment by Merry — May 9, 2017 @ 6:37 am

  24. I was recommended this website by my cousin. I am now not
    positive whether this put up is written via him as no one else understand such particular about my difficulty.
    You are wonderful! Thanks!

    Comment by cara menambah selera makan anak — May 10, 2017 @ 6:23 am

  25. I could not resist commenting. Well written!

    Comment by Earl — May 10, 2017 @ 11:02 am

  26. What’s up to all, as I am in fact keen of reading
    this web site’s post to be updated regularly.
    It contains pleasant information.

    Comment by pt.wikipedia.org — May 10, 2017 @ 6:46 pm

  27. I used to be recommended this website by means of my cousin. I’m now not certain whether or not this submit
    is written by him as no one else realize such distinctive approximately my difficulty.
    You are incredible! Thanks!

    Comment by bayi 10 bulan susah makan dan minum susu — May 11, 2017 @ 2:18 pm

  28. Hello i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anyplace, when i read this article i thought
    i could also make comment due to this sensible
    post.

    Comment by makanan anak susah makan — May 12, 2017 @ 8:41 pm

  29. Hi there exceptional website! Does running a blog similar to this require
    a lot of work? I’ve very little knowledge of computer programming however I had been hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyhow, if you have any ideas or tips for
    new blog owners please share. I know this is off topic nevertheless I just needed to ask.
    Many thanks!

    Comment by run your car with water review — May 14, 2017 @ 4:29 pm

  30. wh0cd280428 Cost Of Viagra

    Comment by StewartJoire — May 15, 2017 @ 3:31 am

  31. When I initially commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify
    me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every
    time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the exact same comment.
    Is there a way you are able to remove me from that service?
    Appreciate it!

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — May 18, 2017 @ 12:50 am

  32. Its not my first time to pay a visit this site, i am browsing this
    web page dailly and obtain fastidious information from here
    daily.

    Comment by http://apps.alus.co/survey/forum/76394-dream-baseball-is-fortune-week-sixteen/0 — May 18, 2017 @ 2:00 am

  33. WOW just what I was looking for. Came here by searching for palm beach
    divorce attorney

    Comment by Augusto de Arruda Botelho — May 18, 2017 @ 2:23 am

  34. I must thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this blog.
    I really hope to see the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as well.
    In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired
    me to get my own, personal site now 😉

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — May 18, 2017 @ 5:45 am

  35. Saved as a favorite, I really like your web site!

    Comment by van hire online — May 20, 2017 @ 1:17 am

  36. I do trust all of the ideas you have presented on your post.

    They are very convincing and can certainly
    work. Nonetheless, the posts are very short for novices.
    Could you please prolong them a little from next time?
    Thank you for the post.

    Comment by bbs.jmtjmt.com — May 20, 2017 @ 2:52 am

  37. Hello, after reading this remarkable piece of writing i am as well
    delighted to share my know-how here with mates.

    Comment by fitministries.com — May 20, 2017 @ 4:28 am

  38. Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a
    blogger, and I was curious about your situation; many of us have
    created some nice methods and we are looking to trade methods with
    others, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.

    Comment by www.jeux-poker-gratuit.com — May 20, 2017 @ 5:44 pm

  39. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is needed to get
    set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?

    I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100% sure. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Appreciate it

    Comment by car hire — May 20, 2017 @ 6:07 pm

  40. Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot drop, just so she can be a youtube
    sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
    I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 22, 2017 @ 11:53 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress