Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

November 8, 2012

True Confessions: Driving toward disaster!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Abby @ 10:32 am

truecircleDear Breakup Girl,

I have been following Scone Boy’s predicament with interest, because his situation resembles mine. Except I’m pretty sure that I have in fact seen the letters “HELP ME” traced in the condensation on the window of the speeding car.

Background. Dated him for a year. Was absolutely nuts about him. He gave me some nice gifts, two of which were very personal and which he made for me. (These figure later in the story.) About a year and a half ago, he bolted. We’re talking disappeared for a month. I finally left him a message: “Haven’t heard from you, how have you been?” “I’ve been OK, just haven’t had much to say.” Smitten though I was, I knew this was a Very Bad Thing, and, despite his protests, I broke it off and returned all the gifts. A year and a half later, my life is mostly OK–friends, other men, recreation, work.

He never seemed to accept the break. Kept in touch, occasionally because of a “Haven’t seen you in awhile, how have you been?” from me, but mostly on his own initiative. More than once he has expressed hurt and resentment at my having returned the gifts. At one point he gave some of them back to me–not the most personal ones–but his subsequent behavior was so annoying that I gave them back again, much more rudely than the first time. I told him to just leave me alone. He went to my friends in an attempt to “explain” himself. More dialogue ensued. Right now he is in touch more than ever, and we’re closer than ever, partly because of his new willingness to really open up to me.

When we talk, one of his favorite topics is how I really should take the gifts back. (“Maybe sometime. Right now I like them just fine at your house.”) He has asked me to flirt with him more. (“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I love to flirt, and I do it often, but I cannot *just* flirt with you. Besides, you’re involved with someone now, and I’m no poacher.”)

This involvement is his other favorite topic. It began 10 months ago. Things are wonderful, they are getting serious, and she is perfect. Except that once in a while she has too much to drink, and embarrasses him in public. And he doesn’t really want to get married; he would prefer to have an understanding with her, that he never intends to marry. But things are moving so fast; they’re scaring him. (This is what he actually says. I’m omitting my perceptions and intuitions.)

So, tell me, Oh Wise One. Am I hallucinating, or am I really seeing the letters “HELP ME” in the condensation on the window of the speeding car? If those letters are there, how can I help him, and maybe help myself? I haven’t gotten over him, and I would give a lot to have him back. TGATEOFB‘s suggestion of proposing marriage would be way premature. I certainly would have the guts to do it otherwise. But there is much unfinished business between us, and I at least want a chance to finish it. Failing that, I want to help him avoid this disaster he is contemplating. It would break my heart (again) to see him in the soup.

On the other hand, I realize I am looking here at a pattern: Get involved, bolt. Get involved, bolt. (He has absolutely no other symptoms of commitmentphobia, unless you count his difficulty letting go. I should talk.) I want to be very sure he won’t use me to get out of his new relationship, only to bolt once again. I don’t want to set myself up for another year and a half of getting back to OK. This is urgent. Please talk to me.

— Joanie

Dear Joanie,

Actually, I think things would be more promising if Chachi’s pattern were Get involved, bolt; Get involved, bolt. (In the broadest sense, isn’t that everyone’s pattern, anyway?) Instead, it’s: Get involved; vanish mysteriously, rudely, immaturely, and irresponsibly; get huffy when the wounded party doesn’t want any souvenirs; get involved with someone else but continue to ask wounded party to flirt with you; do the powerless and overwhelmed act in the face of impending/implied commitment. Not at all promising for ANY parties. You, Joanie, are the one in the car. And I’m out here trying to help. Which is why I say: wipe the window clean, put on your blinker, and head on to the Next Big Thing.

Love,
Breakup Girl

This advice was originally published on November 16, 1998.

No Comments »

  1. 100mg viagra online

    cheap viagra

    cheap viagra

    online viagra discount

    Comment by ViagqChums — September 8, 2017 @ 7:09 pm

  2. viagra north carolina
    buy viagra online
    viagra free samples
    viagra online

    Comment by trothe — September 8, 2017 @ 9:05 pm

  3. potency drug viagra

    canadian viagra

    viagra cheap

    viagra e dieta

    Comment by ViagqChums — September 8, 2017 @ 9:23 pm

  4. order cialis tadalafil
    buy cialis online
    generic cialis reviews
    buy cialis online

    Comment by Easelry — September 10, 2017 @ 12:35 pm

  5. cialis generic cheap buy
    cheap cialis
    order cialis canada
    buy cheap cialis coupon

    Comment by eromync — September 12, 2017 @ 1:11 am

  6. quick ship viagra buy cialis online
    cheap cialis
    buy original cialis 20mg
    cialis coupon

    Comment by clocaix — September 12, 2017 @ 12:15 pm

  7. order cialis canada
    cheap cialis
    buy brand cialis from supplier
    buy cialis

    Comment by frenue — September 13, 2017 @ 3:58 am

  8. price for cialis online pharmacy
    cheap cialis
    prednisone and hyperglycemia cialis generic pills
    cheap cialis

    Comment by Easelry — September 13, 2017 @ 3:23 pm

  9. history of viagra
    buy viagra online
    where can you buy viagra over the counter
    generic viagra online

    Comment by frenue — September 17, 2017 @ 5:09 am

  10. purchasing viagra from canada
    viagra no prescription

    sell
    buy medication online in canada

    Comment by Donaldacara — September 17, 2017 @ 1:53 pm

  11. cialis kaufen in osterreic

    buy cialis online

    cialis buy

    try it real cialis

    Comment by CesarChums — September 20, 2017 @ 2:22 am

  12. pharmacy rx one
    canadian pharmacy+cialis

    canadian pharmacies for cialis

    low cost prescription drugs canada
    cheap cialis generic canada

    Comment by KevinMed — September 20, 2017 @ 2:31 am

  13. buy canadian viagra online
    ordering medications from canada

    tadalafil from canada

    cialis of canada
    canadian medications

    Comment by CameronThIst — September 21, 2017 @ 12:40 am

  14. cialis generika levitra

    http://cialisolas.com/ – cialis online

    cialis

    acheter cialis tadalafil

    Comment by JkosChums — September 21, 2017 @ 3:48 am

  15. cialis precio 2010

    buy cialis

    cialis

    how much does 5g cialis cost

    Comment by JkosChums — September 21, 2017 @ 6:46 pm

  16. buy canadian cialis

    cheap viagra pills

    cialis usa pharmacy

    canadameds.com

    viagra without a prescription in the usa

    Comment by DorisAbada — September 23, 2017 @ 12:14 am

  17. low cost daily use cialis

    generic cialis online

    buy cialis

    free cialis

    Comment by AlenaChums — September 23, 2017 @ 2:24 am

  18. india cheap pharmacy cialis

    cialis online

    buy cialis online

    offerta cialis online.

    Comment by AlenaChums — September 25, 2017 @ 1:38 am

  19. we choice cialis to order

    generic cialis online

    generic cialis

    10 mg cialis vs 20 mg

    Comment by GoloaChums — September 25, 2017 @ 7:26 pm

  20. generico cialis in farmaci

    generic cialis online

    buy cialis

    cialis kamagra available

    Comment by GoloaChums — September 25, 2017 @ 8:46 pm

  21. order medications online original site

    canadian prescriptions
    Northwest Pharmacy In Canada

    canadian medications – medication without a doctor’s prescription

    Comment by EdwardFep — September 29, 2017 @ 2:25 pm

  22. prix viagra ou equivalent

    buy viagra

    viagra generic

    pfizer viagra prezz

    Comment by NerkoChums — October 1, 2017 @ 10:39 pm

  23. wo cialis kaufen forum

    buy cialis

    buy cialis

    we choice cheap price cialis

    Comment by VoldemChums — October 2, 2017 @ 2:15 am

  24. car insurance in

    what is car insurance for

    auto insurance acar insurance mi
    about car insurance

    a auto insurancecar insurance md

    Comment by HarryWeeby — October 3, 2017 @ 7:05 pm

  25. is it safe to take 200mg of viagra
    https://aviagrant.com/ – buy Viagra
    radical prostatectomy and viagra
    buy Viagra
    viagra and penile injections
    buy generic Viagra
    what else is like viagra

    Comment by AviliniApody — October 25, 2017 @ 12:53 am

  26. cbd pills side effects in cats – https://cbdpillssale.com best cbd pills online best cbd pills for pain reviews – https://cbdpillssale.com

    cbd pills for sale colorado springs – cbdpillssale.com best cbd pills for cancer treatment – https://cbdpillssale.com cbd pills for sale vape – cbdpillssale.com

    Comment by Sonjastove — October 25, 2017 @ 4:11 pm

  27. miracle cbd oil for sale amazon – https://cannabidioloilsale.com pure cbd oil for pain relief – https://cannabidioloilsale.com dosage of cbd oil for chronic pain – cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for chronic pain management – cannabidioloilsale.com

    cbd oil for dogs with seizures dosage – cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for anxiety and depression – cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for sale on amazon – cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil dosage for anxiety children – cannabidioloilsale.com

    Comment by AgustinTub — October 28, 2017 @ 4:12 pm

  28. cbd oil side effects constipation – cannabidioloilsale.com best cbd oil for pain reviews – https://cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil benefits – cannabidioloilsale.com benefits of cbd oil for colon cancer – https://cannabidioloilsale.com

    cbd oil for sale cbd oil for sale vaporizer – cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for sale vape – cannabidioloilsale.com side effects of cbd oil in dogs – cannabidioloilsale.com

    Comment by AgustinTub — October 28, 2017 @ 6:03 pm

  29. cbd oil side effects constipation – cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for sale amazon – https://cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for pain for sale lowest price – cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for anxiety – cannabidioloilsale.com

    cbd oil for sale – cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for pain – https://cannabidioloilsale.com cbd oil for sale cbd oil for sale

    Comment by AgustinTub — October 29, 2017 @ 1:18 pm

  30. cbd oil for pain reviews – https://cbdhempoilsale.us CBD oil for sale cannabis oil capsules for sale
    best cbd capsules buy cbd oil online dosage of cbd oil for breast cancer – https://cbdhempoilsale.us

    cbd oil benefits webmd – cbdhempoilsale.us cbd oil for sale vape pens – https://cbdhempoilsale.us cbd oil for dogs dosage – https://cbdhempoilsale.us
    marijuana cbd oil online cbd oil for cancer – https://cbdhempoilsale.us best cbd oil for bone cancer pain – cbdhempoilsale.us

    Comment by Sonjastove — November 5, 2017 @ 11:13 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress