Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

November 8, 2012

True Confessions: Driving toward disaster!

Filed under: Advice — posted by Abby @ 10:32 am

truecircleDear Breakup Girl,

I have been following Scone Boy’s predicament with interest, because his situation resembles mine. Except I’m pretty sure that I have in fact seen the letters “HELP ME” traced in the condensation on the window of the speeding car.

Background. Dated him for a year. Was absolutely nuts about him. He gave me some nice gifts, two of which were very personal and which he made for me. (These figure later in the story.) About a year and a half ago, he bolted. We’re talking disappeared for a month. I finally left him a message: “Haven’t heard from you, how have you been?” “I’ve been OK, just haven’t had much to say.” Smitten though I was, I knew this was a Very Bad Thing, and, despite his protests, I broke it off and returned all the gifts. A year and a half later, my life is mostly OK–friends, other men, recreation, work.

He never seemed to accept the break. Kept in touch, occasionally because of a “Haven’t seen you in awhile, how have you been?” from me, but mostly on his own initiative. More than once he has expressed hurt and resentment at my having returned the gifts. At one point he gave some of them back to me–not the most personal ones–but his subsequent behavior was so annoying that I gave them back again, much more rudely than the first time. I told him to just leave me alone. He went to my friends in an attempt to “explain” himself. More dialogue ensued. Right now he is in touch more than ever, and we’re closer than ever, partly because of his new willingness to really open up to me.

When we talk, one of his favorite topics is how I really should take the gifts back. (“Maybe sometime. Right now I like them just fine at your house.”) He has asked me to flirt with him more. (“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I love to flirt, and I do it often, but I cannot *just* flirt with you. Besides, you’re involved with someone now, and I’m no poacher.”)

This involvement is his other favorite topic. It began 10 months ago. Things are wonderful, they are getting serious, and she is perfect. Except that once in a while she has too much to drink, and embarrasses him in public. And he doesn’t really want to get married; he would prefer to have an understanding with her, that he never intends to marry. But things are moving so fast; they’re scaring him. (This is what he actually says. I’m omitting my perceptions and intuitions.)

So, tell me, Oh Wise One. Am I hallucinating, or am I really seeing the letters “HELP ME” in the condensation on the window of the speeding car? If those letters are there, how can I help him, and maybe help myself? I haven’t gotten over him, and I would give a lot to have him back. TGATEOFB‘s suggestion of proposing marriage would be way premature. I certainly would have the guts to do it otherwise. But there is much unfinished business between us, and I at least want a chance to finish it. Failing that, I want to help him avoid this disaster he is contemplating. It would break my heart (again) to see him in the soup.

On the other hand, I realize I am looking here at a pattern: Get involved, bolt. Get involved, bolt. (He has absolutely no other symptoms of commitmentphobia, unless you count his difficulty letting go. I should talk.) I want to be very sure he won’t use me to get out of his new relationship, only to bolt once again. I don’t want to set myself up for another year and a half of getting back to OK. This is urgent. Please talk to me.

— Joanie

Dear Joanie,

Actually, I think things would be more promising if Chachi’s pattern were Get involved, bolt; Get involved, bolt. (In the broadest sense, isn’t that everyone’s pattern, anyway?) Instead, it’s: Get involved; vanish mysteriously, rudely, immaturely, and irresponsibly; get huffy when the wounded party doesn’t want any souvenirs; get involved with someone else but continue to ask wounded party to flirt with you; do the powerless and overwhelmed act in the face of impending/implied commitment. Not at all promising for ANY parties. You, Joanie, are the one in the car. And I’m out here trying to help. Which is why I say: wipe the window clean, put on your blinker, and head on to the Next Big Thing.

Breakup Girl

This advice was originally published on November 16, 1998.

No Comments »

  1. bad credit no fax payday loan unsecured personal loans best payday loans lenders [url=https://ipersonalloancad.com]find personal loan[/url] ’

    Comment by Sevfweapy — August 6, 2017 @ 12:41 pm

  2. same day loans no credit cash advance lenders applying for payday loans [url=https://paydaytniloans.org]best payday loans[/url] ’

    Comment by Lvtyrix — August 6, 2017 @ 3:46 pm

  3. loans bad credit cash advance on credit card no fax payday loans [url=https://loansonlinevaec.org]cash advance on credit card[/url] ’

    Comment by Vrtsfeli — August 6, 2017 @ 4:54 pm

  4. a assunzione cialis 10 mg competitive s cialis loss of effectiveness position

    Comment by Supriunfom — August 6, 2017 @ 9:32 pm

  5. watermelon better than viagra

    buy viagra online

    cheap viagra

    what local stores sell viagra

    Comment by MoisesChums — August 7, 2017 @ 12:39 am

  6. viagra natural s price phx

    generic viagra online

    generic viagra online

    viagra sale cheap price

    Comment by MoisesChums — August 7, 2017 @ 2:30 am

  7. 10 dollar payday loan personal loan bad credit 1000 faxless payday loan [url=https://personalarc.org]best personal loans[/url] ’

    Comment by Hjfweapy — August 7, 2017 @ 1:28 pm

  8. viagra generico noi vendite

    viagra discount

    viagra online

    buying viagra in holland

    Comment by MoisesChums — August 7, 2017 @ 5:16 pm

  9. cash advances online fast payday loans fast payday loan payday loans companies [url=https://paydayvi.org]instant payday loans[/url] ’

    Comment by AwxSouch — August 7, 2017 @ 5:56 pm

  10. a payday loan – https://installmentokm.org bad credit loans no payday loans [url=https://installmentokm.org]installment payday loans[/url] ’

    Comment by Hdsgroth — August 8, 2017 @ 8:07 am

  11. payday advance – https://installmentaec.org installment loan [url=https://installmentaec.org]installment payday loans[/url] ’

    Comment by Bbfgex — August 8, 2017 @ 8:10 am

  12. installments loans – https://paydayqxej.org 100 online payday loans [url=https://paydayqxej.org]cash advance loans online[/url] ’

    Comment by LpogoowS — August 8, 2017 @ 11:27 am

  13. canadian payday loan association – https://paydayvtulo.org advances payday loans [url=https://paydayvtulo.org]cash advance american express[/url] ’

    Comment by HjkNant — August 8, 2017 @ 12:47 pm

  14. fast payday loan – https://personalnae.org online payday loan companies [url=https://personalnae.org]instant personal loan[/url] ’

    Comment by Brttit — August 8, 2017 @ 1:47 pm

  15. how can i order viagra online

    http://viagracanadaonlineg.com/ – viagra online

    canadian viagra

    le viagra a quel ag

    Comment by MoisesChums — August 8, 2017 @ 2:02 pm

  16. visit our site phizer viagra

    buy viagra online

    buy viagra

    effet viagra sur le cerveau

    Comment by YiksiChums — August 8, 2017 @ 2:28 pm

  17. viagra eyaculacion precoz

    buy viagra online

    canadian viagra

    drugs online viagra

    Comment by MoisesChums — August 8, 2017 @ 7:55 pm

  18. 500 cash payday loan – https://cashikdad.org no fax payday loan today [url=https://cashikdad.org]cash advance on credit card[/url] ’

    Comment by Plmbem — August 8, 2017 @ 11:36 pm

  19. cheap cialis india

    canadian cialis

    calis cheap

    soft buy by best cialis mail

    Comment by KoloChums — August 9, 2017 @ 3:41 pm

  20. student loan consolidation – https://loansbadnni.org 30 day payday loans [url=https://loansbadnni.org]need loan[/url] ’

    Comment by JvsSon — August 9, 2017 @ 11:02 pm

  21. personal loans bank payday loans online pay day [url=https://paydaykko.org]online payday loans direct lenders[/url] ’

    Comment by Bturix — August 10, 2017 @ 1:36 pm

  22. cialis price checker

    order cialis

    buy cialis online

    cialis levitra en vente

    Comment by YukiChums — August 10, 2017 @ 3:44 pm

  23. cialis belgique vente libre

    cialis cheap

    generic cialis

    cialis side effects swallowing

    Comment by YukiChums — August 11, 2017 @ 3:43 am

  24. cialis australie

    cialis without prescription

    cheap cialis online

    long does cialis expire

    Comment by MoisesChums — August 11, 2017 @ 3:20 pm

  25. citrate viagra sildenafil

    viagra price

    viagra buy

    viagra with generic compare

    Comment by GermanChums — August 11, 2017 @ 4:13 pm

  26. viagra cost ontario

    cheap viagra online

    buy viagra

    full price viagra

    Comment by GenolChums — August 13, 2017 @ 9:27 pm

  27. viagra jelly spain

    http://viagraprofessionalok.com/ – cheap viagra online

    generic viagra

    old man fucking useing viagra

    Comment by SofiyaChums — August 15, 2017 @ 5:21 pm

  28. cialis 800mg china

    http://cialisactiveokl.com/ – discount cialis

    buy cialis online

    prezzo cialis 10mg farmacia

    Comment by SofiyaChums — August 15, 2017 @ 8:16 pm

  29. want to buy viagra india

    viagra 100mg

    viagra generic

    viagra verkoop

    Comment by SofiyaChums — August 15, 2017 @ 10:42 pm

  30. viagra cialis interactio

    online viagra

    buy viagra online

    viagra billig berlin

    Comment by SofiyaChums — August 16, 2017 @ 3:42 pm

  31. buy tadalafil online cialis
    online cialis
    buy real cialis online canada
    generic cialis

    Comment by Jalamuse — August 19, 2017 @ 11:00 am

  32. cialis without a doctors prescription

    Comment by Michealtam — August 19, 2017 @ 1:56 pm

  33. cialis and toprol

    buy generic cialis

    cheap cialis online

    cialis falschung

    Comment by MoisesChums — August 20, 2017 @ 10:16 pm

  34. cialis v viagra

    generic viagra

    cheap viagra

    discount viagra usa

    Comment by GoilChums — August 20, 2017 @ 10:42 pm

  35. canadian generic cialis
    cheap cialis
    buy generic cialis 5mg online
    generic cialis

    Comment by tinscymn — August 21, 2017 @ 5:02 am

  36. visit our site sale viagra

    http://buycheaphyviagra.com/ – generic viagra


    click now get viagra

    Comment by VerdyChums — August 21, 2017 @ 9:23 pm

  37. viagra name
    generic viagra
    viagra pill price
    viagra without prescription

    Comment by Toitle — August 21, 2017 @ 11:04 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress