Big To Do
About Us

“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

December 7, 2012

Age: Mr. Nice Guy meets Ms. Older Woman

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:15 am

Broken-Hearted Bob returns on November 30, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Remember me? Mr. Nice Guy. Well here’s my quandary this time.

I have officially changed my major to Fine Arts. And in doing so I go to a different branch of my college that is off campus. At the craft center, the whole place is different — it’s a completely different learning enviroment from the structured regimented classes on the main campus. This environment in turn breeds a completely different type of student. And all of the women there are TOTALLY COOL!! And there is one in particular I’m a bit sweet on. She and I hang out, and we just get along well. I was going to ask her out one day, and then we got to discussing age, my b-day is in a few days, as is hers. I was joking that since I was turning 20 that I would have to “grow up” and “get with the program.” She laughed and said that wasn’t necessarily so. Then I found out that … well, she will be 31 a week or so after I turn 20. Well, that TOTALLY threw a wrench in the works for me. But later we were talking and she asked me if I wanted to go to see “Something About Mary” with her cause she didn’t want to go alone. After the movie she and I went and talked for a while at a coffee house, my idea, then she wanted to get some beer, but my roommates aren’t cool with that so I took a rain check. We’d have gone to her place, but it is a half hour away and she was tired. We continue to talk.

Should I risk the relationship and ask her out, should I just sit on my feelings for her, or should I just go to her and say “Hey what’s up with us?” I have asked some of my more trusted friends and they don’t give me advice, they just kind of make robbin’ the cradle or “The Graduate” jokes. So well I must turn to you, oh great knower of things I don’t quite understand.

— Broken Heart Bob

Dear Bob,

Hey, welcome back, former Loft-Builder! You realize that you helped me coin one of the most famous — and most useful — terms in breakupgirl.net history, right? And frankly, as far as this question goes, I’d rather see you working in “plastics” than wood. So: way to go on the coffeehouse plan. And way to go on just going with this one, at least as far as the first date. If only just for practice.

But to get back to making Graduate jokes — I mean, to the age question. Well, how do you feel? I mean, do you feel young around her? Do you feel like she is An Older Woman, or just that she happens to be older? Did you laugh at the same jokes in the movie? Tell the truth.

See, I don’t want to dismiss this one out of hand. And she was definitely flirting with you. But now this old lady will issue some words of caution:

1. It will be annoying to her that you are, beer-wise, underage. Either you will date and this will get annoying, or you won’t date because this will be annoying.

2. There’s no sure test for this, but be careful: make sure there’s flirting, yes, but also a stronger feeling beneath it, as far as you can tell. I want to make sure you’re not some sort of Boy Conquest for her.

3. There IS a big difference between 20 and 31. More than there is between, say, 30 and 41. Arguably, lots more of life happens to you in your 20s. Not that your 30s are some sort of black hole, but think about it: 20s are college, your first job, maybe your first apartment, whatever. You’re still changing, sorting stuff out. In your 30s, well, I hope to God you’re still sorting some stuff out, because otherwise you’d be really stiff and stuck and boring. But in your 30s you are, ideally, more … set. Your art is framed, not gummed; your noodles are soba, not ramen. So if you date someone with not just any 11-year age gap, but with that 11-year age gap, keep this in mind: you’re not going to be “going through the same stuff at work.” You’re not going to be “in the same place.” You’re not going to have had comparable numbers of learning and shaping experiences (including relationships) behind you. You are going to have a different array of stuff in front of you (like Sam Adams vs. Shirley Temple). SO. You and Old Mother Hubbard have got to try and figure out if you have profound, timeless stuff in common. Note: Lust doesn’t count. But Art might.

So about the feelings. Yep, sit on ’em a bit. But sit next to her in the craft center if you like. But also: see about sitting down at the coffeehouse with someone else who can’t do beer.

Breakup Girl

No Comments »

  1. The very Dallas Megastars currently relax having a record of 6-7-4, and that is sufficient intended for seventh plus last put it in the very Central Section. They already have earned 2 in their final 10, moving 2-6-2 across the cover. From a fascinating learn to the summer season, this abhorring skid has hit the main Dallas Superstars and their fanatics. Their own recent operation came because the initial game of your back-to-back last night, as soon as they sacrificed to Mn Untamed 2-1 around the Usa Airlines Heart. They may appeal to carry out the main back-to-back along with a gain while travelling tonight against the Blackhawks.

    Comment by bruins winter classic jersey — September 25, 2016 @ 3:56 am

  2. Paracetamol is another which are non-prescription painkiller functions nicely for head pain, toothaches, along with sprains. There are recently been shown to guide relieve the outward symptoms from the prevalent cold and of high temperature.

    Comment by la kings alternate jersey — September 26, 2016 @ 3:06 am

  3. No epidemiological studies or case reports investigating
    the association of exposure to cancer risks in humans and
    Garcinia cambogia extract were identified in the literature that
    was accessible.

    Stop by my website garcinia cambogia weight loss kit reviews, Bridgette,

    Comment by Bridgette — September 26, 2016 @ 3:21 am

  4. Breakup Girl » Age: Mr. Nice Guy meets Ms. Older Woman
    mybjtgci http://www.gihc0n84590oyjl4i5db87x8e2e515j2s.org/

    Comment by mybjtgci — September 26, 2016 @ 5:07 am

  5. Every weekend i used to visit this web page, as i wish for enjoyment, since this this site conations genuinely good funny stuff too.

    Comment by Dorthy — October 12, 2016 @ 12:00 pm

  6. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally,
    it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something
    informative to read?

    Comment by Vickey — October 17, 2016 @ 5:12 pm

  7. I want to to thank you for this fantastic read!!
    I absolutely loved every bit of it. I have got you bookmarked to look at
    new things you post…

    Comment by Mark Curry — October 18, 2016 @ 6:48 pm

  8. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get got an edginess over that
    you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly a
    lot often inside case you shield this hike.

    Comment by apply vietnam visa — October 18, 2016 @ 10:24 pm

  9. What’s up, I log on to your blogs regularly.
    Your writing style is witty, keep up the good work!

    Comment by replacing a lost us passport — October 19, 2016 @ 12:25 am

  10. Hmm it appears like your site ate my first comment
    (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what
    I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
    I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the
    whole thing. Do you have any tips for first-time
    blog writers? I’d certainly appreciate it.

    Comment by loan calculator — October 24, 2016 @ 8:42 am

  11. Hi, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog site in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!

    Comment by Anderson — April 22, 2017 @ 7:40 pm

  12. We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.
    Your web site provided us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and
    our whole community will be thankful to you.

    Comment by Lilliana — April 23, 2017 @ 2:52 am

  13. This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
    I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post.

    Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!

    Comment by Kassie — April 24, 2017 @ 4:30 pm

  14. Hi there to all, how is everything, I think every one
    is getting more from this web site, and your views are fastidious designed for
    new people.

    Comment by Itamar Serpa Fernandes — April 24, 2017 @ 11:06 pm

  15. What’s Going down i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It absolutely helpful and it
    has helped me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & assist
    different customers like its helped me. Great job.

    Comment by pt-br.facebook.com — April 27, 2017 @ 5:48 am

  16. First off I want to say terrific blog! I had a quick question in which
    I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to
    know how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing.
    I have had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out there.
    I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually lost
    simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or hints?

    Comment by Allison — April 27, 2017 @ 5:14 pm

  17. Hi! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 3gs!
    Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog
    and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the superb work!

    Comment by https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usurio(a):Silvia_Odete_Morani_Massad_Bisneta — May 2, 2017 @ 8:21 am

  18. I think this is one of the most vital info for me. And i’m glad reading
    your article. But want to remark on some general things, The web site style is wonderful, the articles
    is really great : D. Good job, cheers

    Comment by Lashawnda — May 4, 2017 @ 9:31 am

  19. Hi it’s me, I am also visiting this site on a regular basis, this website is in fact pleasant and the
    users are truly sharing fastidious thoughts.

    Comment by Tami — May 5, 2017 @ 3:50 am

  20. great post, very informative. I wonder why the other experts of this sector don’t notice this.

    You must continue your writing. I’m sure, you have a huge readers’ base already!

    Comment by Ariane Slinger Trust — May 6, 2017 @ 4:20 am

  21. You need to take part in a contest for one of the highest quality websites on the internet.

    I most certainly will highly recommend this web site!

    Comment by Chastity — May 6, 2017 @ 5:33 am

  22. I always used to read piece of writing in news papers but now as I am a user of
    web so from now I am using net for posts, thanks to web.

    Comment by selecting extensions — May 8, 2017 @ 9:26 pm

  23. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future
    and it’s time to be happy. I have learn this publish
    and if I may I wish to recommend you few attention-grabbing things or tips.
    Maybe you can write subsequent articles referring to this article.
    I want to learn more things approximately it!

    Comment by makanan untuk otak bayi — May 9, 2017 @ 11:29 pm

  24. Hello to every body, it’s my first go to see of this website; this blog includes amazing and
    in fact excellent stuff in support of visitors.

    Comment by makanan sehat untuk balita 2 tahun — May 10, 2017 @ 5:37 am

  25. Tremendous issues here. I’m very satisfied to peer your article.
    Thank you so much and I’m taking a look ahead to touch you.
    Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?

    Comment by menu makanan balita — May 13, 2017 @ 9:36 am

  26. My brother suggested I might like this web site. He was entirely
    right. This post actually made my day. You can not imagine simply how much time I had spent for this info!

    Comment by https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usurio(a):Egli_Diana_Pinto_Neta — May 14, 2017 @ 2:24 am

  27. Hello, all is going fine here and ofcourse every one
    is sharing facts, that’s truly good, keep up writing.

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 16, 2017 @ 1:07 am

  28. Fantastic website. Lots of useful information here.
    I’m sending it to some pals ans additionally sharing in delicious.
    And certainly, thank you for your effort!

    Comment by brazilian hair — May 16, 2017 @ 7:06 am

  29. Hello, i think that i saw you visited my website thus i came
    to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

    Comment by Sol — May 17, 2017 @ 4:04 am

  30. Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice even as you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a weblog site?
    The account helped me a acceptable deal. I have been a
    little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered vibrant clear

    Comment by Nannette — May 17, 2017 @ 7:17 pm

  31. Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I
    wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
    I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to
    the whole thing. Do you have any tips and hints for first-time blog writers?
    I’d definitely appreciate it.

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — May 18, 2017 @ 3:29 pm

  32. Hello, There’s no doubt that your blog might be having web browser compatibility issues.
    Whenever I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues.
    I merely wanted to provide you with a quick heads up!
    Aside from that, great website!

    Comment by Silvia Odete Morani Massad — May 18, 2017 @ 4:02 pm

  33. It’s really very difficult in this busy life to listen news
    on Television, thus I simply use world wide web for that reason, and take the latest news.

    Comment by http://www.wiki.mrmoseley.co.uk — May 19, 2017 @ 2:21 pm

  34. Hey! Quick question that’s completely off topic.

    Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?

    My website looks weird when browsing from my iphone4.
    I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to resolve this
    issue. If you have any recommendations, please share.
    Appreciate it!

    Comment by Holley — May 19, 2017 @ 4:57 pm

  35. First off I want to say superb blog! I had a quick question which I’d like to ask
    if you do not mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing.

    I have had a hard time clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas
    out. I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be wasted just trying to figure out how to begin.
    Any recommendations or tips? Appreciate it!

    Comment by dream safari vacation — May 19, 2017 @ 7:41 pm

  36. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It actually
    was once a leisure account it. Glance complex to more added agreeable from you!
    However, how could we keep in touch?

    Comment by l.A.y.E.r.k.m.jq@malibu.pw — May 20, 2017 @ 2:43 am

  37. Normally I do not learn article on blogs, but I would like to
    say that this write-up very compelled me to try and do so!
    Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, very nice

    Comment by Melissa — May 20, 2017 @ 6:53 am

  38. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you wish be
    delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as
    exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

    Comment by http://innovacionpld.org/foroinnovacion/index.php?action=profile;u=2088 — May 20, 2017 @ 10:35 am

  39. I was recommended this website through my cousin. I’m no longer certain whether this put up is written by way of
    him as no one else realize such distinct about my trouble.
    You’re incredible! Thank you!

    Comment by cruise lines — May 21, 2017 @ 4:55 am

  40. hi!,I love your writing very a lot! proportion we
    keep in touch more about your article on AOL? I need a specialist on this area
    to solve my problem. Maybe that is you! Taking a
    look forward to look you.

    Comment by family court judge — May 22, 2017 @ 1:48 am

  41. You made some good points there. I checked on the web for more info about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this website.

    Comment by hire greenford — May 22, 2017 @ 3:34 am

  42. Hey I am so excited I found your blog, I really found you by accident, while I was searching on Digg
    for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just
    like to say kudos for a tremendous post and a all round
    entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design),
    I don’t have time to go through it all at the moment
    but I have saved it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the
    awesome work.

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 22, 2017 @ 7:45 am

  43. Hello, i think that i saw you visited my weblog so i came to
    “return the favor”.I’m attempting to find things to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok
    to use a few of your ideas!!

    Comment by Elane — May 22, 2017 @ 7:10 pm

  44. Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this website.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s hard to get that “perfect balance”
    between usability and appearance. I must say that you’ve done a
    excellent job with this. Also, the blog loads super fast
    for me on Chrome. Superb Blog!

    Comment by http://www.cqhangu.com — May 23, 2017 @ 8:16 am

  45. A person necessarily help to make seriously articles I’d state.

    This is the first time I frequented your web page and thus far?
    I amazed with the research you made to create this particular post extraordinary.

    Fantastic job!

    Comment by travel insurance for canadians — May 23, 2017 @ 1:41 pm

  46. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something that
    I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and
    extremely broad for me. I am looking forward for your next
    post, I will try to get the hang of it!

    Comment by www.italysky.com — May 23, 2017 @ 5:55 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.


blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez


Powered by WordPress