Home
Advice

Comics

Animation

Goodies

Big To Do
MORE...
About Us

Archive
“Saving Love Lives The World Over!” e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

December 7, 2012

Age: Mr. Nice Guy meets Ms. Older Woman

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:15 am

Broken-Hearted Bob returns on November 30, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Remember me? Mr. Nice Guy. Well here’s my quandary this time.

I have officially changed my major to Fine Arts. And in doing so I go to a different branch of my college that is off campus. At the craft center, the whole place is different — it’s a completely different learning enviroment from the structured regimented classes on the main campus. This environment in turn breeds a completely different type of student. And all of the women there are TOTALLY COOL!! And there is one in particular I’m a bit sweet on. She and I hang out, and we just get along well. I was going to ask her out one day, and then we got to discussing age, my b-day is in a few days, as is hers. I was joking that since I was turning 20 that I would have to “grow up” and “get with the program.” She laughed and said that wasn’t necessarily so. Then I found out that … well, she will be 31 a week or so after I turn 20. Well, that TOTALLY threw a wrench in the works for me. But later we were talking and she asked me if I wanted to go to see “Something About Mary” with her cause she didn’t want to go alone. After the movie she and I went and talked for a while at a coffee house, my idea, then she wanted to get some beer, but my roommates aren’t cool with that so I took a rain check. We’d have gone to her place, but it is a half hour away and she was tired. We continue to talk.

Should I risk the relationship and ask her out, should I just sit on my feelings for her, or should I just go to her and say “Hey what’s up with us?” I have asked some of my more trusted friends and they don’t give me advice, they just kind of make robbin’ the cradle or “The Graduate” jokes. So well I must turn to you, oh great knower of things I don’t quite understand.

— Broken Heart Bob


Dear Bob,

Hey, welcome back, former Loft-Builder! You realize that you helped me coin one of the most famous — and most useful — terms in breakupgirl.net history, right? And frankly, as far as this question goes, I’d rather see you working in “plastics” than wood. So: way to go on the coffeehouse plan. And way to go on just going with this one, at least as far as the first date. If only just for practice.

But to get back to making Graduate jokes — I mean, to the age question. Well, how do you feel? I mean, do you feel young around her? Do you feel like she is An Older Woman, or just that she happens to be older? Did you laugh at the same jokes in the movie? Tell the truth.

See, I don’t want to dismiss this one out of hand. And she was definitely flirting with you. But now this old lady will issue some words of caution:

1. It will be annoying to her that you are, beer-wise, underage. Either you will date and this will get annoying, or you won’t date because this will be annoying.

2. There’s no sure test for this, but be careful: make sure there’s flirting, yes, but also a stronger feeling beneath it, as far as you can tell. I want to make sure you’re not some sort of Boy Conquest for her.

3. There IS a big difference between 20 and 31. More than there is between, say, 30 and 41. Arguably, lots more of life happens to you in your 20s. Not that your 30s are some sort of black hole, but think about it: 20s are college, your first job, maybe your first apartment, whatever. You’re still changing, sorting stuff out. In your 30s, well, I hope to God you’re still sorting some stuff out, because otherwise you’d be really stiff and stuck and boring. But in your 30s you are, ideally, more … set. Your art is framed, not gummed; your noodles are soba, not ramen. So if you date someone with not just any 11-year age gap, but with that 11-year age gap, keep this in mind: you’re not going to be “going through the same stuff at work.” You’re not going to be “in the same place.” You’re not going to have had comparable numbers of learning and shaping experiences (including relationships) behind you. You are going to have a different array of stuff in front of you (like Sam Adams vs. Shirley Temple). SO. You and Old Mother Hubbard have got to try and figure out if you have profound, timeless stuff in common. Note: Lust doesn’t count. But Art might.

So about the feelings. Yep, sit on ’em a bit. But sit next to her in the craft center if you like. But also: see about sitting down at the coffeehouse with someone else who can’t do beer.

Love,
Breakup Girl

No Comments »

  1. Hi there, I found your web site by means of Google at the same time as searching for a related subject,
    your web site got here up, it appears great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Hi there, just became aware of your weblog via Google, and found that it is really
    informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels.

    I will appreciate when you continue this in future.
    A lot of other people will probably be benefited out of your writing.

    Cheers!

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 25, 2017 @ 3:31 am

  2. This post offers clear idea for the new people of blogging, that in fact how to do blogging.

    Comment by cheap broadband — May 25, 2017 @ 9:18 am

  3. Hey there! I simply would like to offer you a huge thumbs up for your great information you have got right here on this post.
    I’ll be coming back to your site for more soon.

    Comment by cartoon network — May 26, 2017 @ 8:18 pm

  4. Hello to all, how is everything, I think every one is
    getting more from this web site, and your views are fastidious in support of
    new viewers.

    Comment by Riley — May 27, 2017 @ 8:08 am

  5. Great information. Lucky me I came across your blog by accident (stumbleupon).

    I’ve book-marked it for later!

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 28, 2017 @ 5:32 am

  6. That is a great tip particularly to those new to the blogosphere.
    Short but very precise info… Thanks for sharing this one.
    A must read post!

    Comment by Timmy — May 28, 2017 @ 7:28 pm

  7. Pretty great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and
    wanted to mention that I’ve truly enjoyed browsing your weblog posts.
    In any case I will be subscribing on your feed and I am hoping you write again very soon!

    Comment by Chana — May 29, 2017 @ 7:16 pm

  8. What’s up to every body, it’s my first visit of this weblog; this
    website includes remarkable and truly good stuff for readers.

    Comment by family court determines — May 31, 2017 @ 10:55 am

  9. Hello I am so excited I found your weblog, I really found you by accident, while I was browsing on Bing for something else, Anyhow I am here now and
    would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous post
    and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to look over it all
    at the moment but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal
    more, Please do keep up the awesome b.

    Comment by Deloris — May 31, 2017 @ 5:51 pm

  10. Why users still make use of to read news papers when in this technological world everything is
    presented on web?

    Comment by car computer exchange — May 31, 2017 @ 9:30 pm

  11. I visit every day a few web pages and information sites to read content,
    but this website provides feature based
    posts.

    Comment by http://dl356.com — May 31, 2017 @ 10:21 pm

  12. Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account
    it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we communicate?

    Comment by car hire greenford — June 1, 2017 @ 1:33 am

  13. Having read this I believed it was rather enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put
    this short article together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and leaving comments.
    But so what, it was still worth it!

    Comment by money today — June 1, 2017 @ 4:06 pm

  14. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is
    added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service?
    Thank you!

    Comment by Zella — June 1, 2017 @ 4:22 pm

  15. Hiya very cool website!! Guy .. Excellent ..
    Wonderful .. I’ll bookmark your website and take the feeds additionally?
    I’m satisfied to search out a lot of helpful information here within the publish, we want
    work out more techniques in this regard, thank you for sharing.
    . . . . .

    Comment by cashmere wool — June 3, 2017 @ 9:06 am

  16. What’s up, just wanted to tell you, I loved this post. It was
    practical. Keep on posting!

    Comment by Elba — June 9, 2017 @ 11:44 pm

  17. Hello There. I found your blog the use of msn. This
    is a very neatly written article. I’ll be sure
    to bookmark it and come back to read more
    of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I will certainly comeback.

    Comment by hydrogen car — June 12, 2017 @ 2:55 pm

  18. What’s up i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anyplace, when i read this
    post i thought i could also make comment due to this good article.

    Comment by www.ayocrowdfunding.org — June 12, 2017 @ 11:52 pm

  19. Right away I am ready to do my breakfast, after having my breakfast coming again to read additional news.

    Comment by african vacation — June 15, 2017 @ 10:12 pm

  20. wh0cd879658 [url=http://atenolol24.us.org/]atenolol[/url] [url=http://buyavodart.us.com/]avodart 0.5 mg[/url] [url=http://effexor24.us.org/]effexor venlafaxine[/url]

    Comment by Michaelclome — June 17, 2017 @ 8:15 am

  21. Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins
    to safeguard against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any tips?

    Comment by car computer exchange — June 18, 2017 @ 2:31 pm

  22. wh0cd1320618 [url=http://hydrochlorothiazide24.us.org/]hydrochlorothiazide[/url]

    Comment by ErickScuck — June 19, 2017 @ 9:59 pm

  23. excellent issues altogether, you simply gained a new reader.

    What would you suggest about your post that you made some days in the past?
    Any sure?

    Comment by Myrna — June 21, 2017 @ 10:51 pm

  24. I was suggested this web site via my cousin. I’m
    now not sure whether this post is written through him as no one else understand such special approximately my trouble.
    You’re incredible! Thanks!

    Comment by prom.md — June 22, 2017 @ 4:23 am

  25. My family members always say that I am killing my time here at web, except I
    know I am getting know-how every day by reading thes good articles.

    Comment by http://asian-sex-tube.com/cgi-bin/crtr/out.cgi?url=http://sanchichemicals.net/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=121218 — June 22, 2017 @ 11:50 am

  26. I feel this is one of the so much important information for me.
    And i’m glad reading your article. But wanna commentary on few general issues, The web site style is ideal, the articles is in point of fact excellent : D.

    Good task, cheers

    Comment by Larae — June 22, 2017 @ 11:10 pm

  27. At this time it appears like Movable Type is the best blogging platform available right now.
    (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

    Comment by car keys — June 23, 2017 @ 7:31 pm

  28. I am now not positive where you’re getting your
    info, however good topic. I needs to spend a while studying more or figuring out more.
    Thank you for wonderful info I used to be looking for this information for my mission.

    Comment by Marshall — June 24, 2017 @ 4:06 am

  29. What’s up to all, the contents present at this web
    page are really amazing for people experience, well, keep up the good work fellows.

    Comment by Jasmin — June 27, 2017 @ 9:44 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

**Mean or otherwise out-of-line comments will be deleted. That’s just how we roll.

[breakupgirl.net]

blog | advice | comics | animation | goodies | to do | archive | about us

Breakup Girl created by Lynn Harris & Chris Kalb
© 2008 Just Friends Productions, Inc.
| privacy policy
Cool Aid!

Important Breakup Girl Maxim:
Breakup Girl Sez

MORE COMICS...

Powered by WordPress