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Breakup Girl » Breaking up with drama
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January 14, 2013

Breaking up with drama

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:15 am

Detoxing on November 30, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Great site– First time reader, first time writer…I broke up with my boyfriend between 3 and 6 times — cannot be certain as I was sometimes drunk. Anyway, each time he did the whole flowers, love notes– even love FAXES (during one of the breakups I was in Paris).

Anyway in August he met someone else and all of a sudden he was like “I want to see other people.”

At the time I lived upstairs from him in the same building so I and had to see him/his apartment every day. It was too Melrose so I moved across town but couldn’t get him out of my mind. Mostly I hated him but recently I began to think I loved him deep down. I even had 3 dreams about him. I had refused to talk to him until last weekend– I made up an excuse to see him– I was not impressed with what I saw and the meeting went NOT WELL. Last night he called on my cell phone asking why I was so mean to him Sunday and saying stuff like HE misses me and you don’t appreciate what you have till its gone, blah, blah,blah….. I told him I hate him and not to ever call me again — but I can’t stop thinking about him…

I know I badly need to get a life, but apart from that — and therapy, which I plan to start this week — can you give me any advice on how to feel human again? I am so tempted to call him– he still has the Sneaker Pimps import CD we used to have sex to– I could demand it back but what’s the point if I know he is just going to torture me about having this other guy in his life….. What should I do?

– Scott


Dear Scott,

Forget the CD. What are you going to do, listen to it?

Other than that, you’re doing all the right things. Except

(a) realizing that breakups ARE about mixed feelings. Of course you love/hate him. Of course you’re like: “I never want to see you again … unless you’re wearing those jeans!” That’s because you’re going through a breakup.

(b) realizing that — so lame but so true — these things Take Time. You’ve put miles (rather than floors — way to de-Melrose!) between you; now put minutes, hours, days, weeks. Just wait. Pass the time with a little therapy, maybe a movie, maybe a couple margaritas at the Rocking Horse; but other than that, sit tight. Also check this archived column.

Specifically, though, what you’ll have to wean yourself from is not love, but drama. Drunken breakups! Les faxes d’amour! Cell phone altercations! Vows of hatred! Jealousy! Torture! I know, I know, love is drama. And love of drama is part of what makes us/you human. But so is being able to step back and sort out the emotions from the stage directions; realizing that not everything has to happen at fever pitch.You will miss him for a while, yes. You will want to call him. But check before you dial: am I missing him, or am I … bored? Let’s assume it’s the latter. So watch Melrose. Or run over to Tower.

Love,
Breakup Girl

3 Comments »

  1. My name is Janice. I found a great spell caster online who helped me to get back my husband who has left me for pass 3 months. we where married for 8years without a child and my friend introduce me to a real spell caster which i never believe it exist but after the meting of this spell caster my problem where solved and now i am with my husband who left me for pass three months my life and my entire family are now happy now i am pregnant with the help of this great spell caster. Thanks Dr. Lee of Ancientfathersandmothers@gmail.com if you need any spell, you can email him and he will be in the best position to help you. I wish you good luck and success.

    Comment by Janice — January 25, 2013 @ 9:31 am

  2. I and Jeff has been together for 2 years. we have been living happily without any problem. I always discuss about marriage with Jeff but he replies me with, we will soon get married. I was surprise one Friday evening when I was in my sister’s house, Jeff called me on phone and told me that we can no longer carry on with the relationship because he has find himself somelse whom he want to get married to. I was shocked and hospitalize for some days. I was so tired and tried to get my life because without Jeff but it was impossible because i truly love him. One Sunday evening when i was searching online for help, I was directed to Dr.Grant whose email is grantingheartdesiresspell@gmail.com i contacted him and he was able to bring back Jeff back to me within 3 days. Reach Dr.Grant via email on ;grantingheartdesiresspell@gmail.com Dr.Grant brought back my happiness.

    Comment by Gracie — December 15, 2013 @ 4:58 am

  3. My name is cornellia, am from UK I live in Canada, I have been married for
    over 5years and no issue(baby) to show for it, I and my husband have gone
    to different places for help for me to get pregnant, but all our efforts
    where fruitless. My husband became tired of me and started accusing me of
    the cause of our problem. I tried to make him believe that I don’t know why
    I cannot get pregnant. But as a man he pays deaf ears to my words. It came
    to a time when he gave me an ultimatum to leave his house. I became more
    crazy and restless. I search for help including where there is no help. My
    husband finally sent me packing after 5years of our marriage. when I was in
    my parents’ house I was still searching for a solution until I met an old
    school friend whom gave me the contact of this spell caster Dr odion, she
    said he saved her marriage too. I contacted him for help. He told me that
    it is never too late that I will need two spell in one. Which means an ex
    back spell and a fertility spell. He actually cast a spell for me after
    48hours of his spell; my husband came to my parents’ house looking for me.
    We got back together again. That made me so happy. Still with his fertility
    spell, I became pregnant after 2months of his spell. What a powerful man. I
    am the happiest person on earth. If you need any help, I recommend this
    great man to you, I am so sure he will help you the way he helped
    me.drodionspelltemple @gmail. com

    Comment by cornellia — January 18, 2014 @ 7:01 am

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